The panic has begun ladies and gentleman, time to stock up!

[Artful Drunktective]

I went to the store yesterday to pick up a few things, checked the TP aisle out of curiosity. It was empty save one case of Angel Soft, sitting there all by itself in the middle. I opened the case and took out a 4 pack just because. As I was walking away a lady came up and grabbed the rest of the case and put it in her cart. I said "That's a lot of shitting right there." She sneered at me and ran to checkout.

HAHA! That would rock if you auctioned off your Taco Bell napkins to the highest bidder. There's some money to made off of this absurdity.

[Artful Drunktective]

Here's a couple tips to help keep you healthy through the coming crisis:

1. Make sure to wash and lather your nether regions for no less than 20 minutes, or sing the full verse of Miss American Pie, Part 1 and 2 twice if you have no toilet paper because humanity is stupid.

Fixed it.

[Hugh]

[Badfellow]

How about a nice game of chess?

[Hugh]

Unbelievable. At the CVS Pharmacy, all the toilet paper is gone, so now everybody is buying those packets of moist-wipes.

The next big thing will be plumbers unclogging sewer lines.

There are signs up in the TP and hand soap section limiting how much each person can buy.

[Rye and Coke]

Unbelievable. At the CVS Pharmacy, all the toilet paper is gone, so now everybody is buying those packets of moist-wipes.

The next big thing will be plumbers unclogging sewer lines.

There are signs up in the TP and hand soap section limiting how much each person can buy.

This is true.

I tried to tell Jack and Coke that we're only setting up a plumber's appointment for a year from now, but it's all "what will we do if we run out of toilet paper?!"

[scream ale]

Unbelievable. At the CVS Pharmacy, all the toilet paper is gone, so now everybody is buying those packets of moist-wipes.

The next big thing will be plumbers unclogging sewer lines.

There are signs up in the TP and hand soap section limiting how much each person can buy.

This is true.

I tried to tell Jack and Coke that we're only setting up a plumber's appointment for a year from now, but it's all "what will we do if we run out of toilet paper?!"

Cut up old t-shirts?

[Badfellow]

Unbelievable. At the CVS Pharmacy, all the toilet paper is gone, so now everybody is buying those packets of moist-wipes.

The next big thing will be plumbers unclogging sewer lines.

There are signs up in the TP and hand soap section limiting how much each person can buy.

This is true.

I tried to tell Jack and Coke that we're only setting up a plumber's appointment for a year from now, but it's all "what will we do if we run out of toilet paper?!"

Cut up old t-shirts?

That reminds me of a joke: "ever had any problems with shit stain on that old Guns n' Roses t-shirt?"

[oettinger]

Time to get a supscription for the local news tp paper it is

[scream ale]

I laughed harder at that than I probably should have.

Black Sabbath the band for all occassions.

[Hugh]

GOD. FUCKING. DAMB. The usual Sunday volume where I work (loading up trucks to deliver potato chips, Fritos, etc, to grocery stores) is about 6 - 7 thousand cases. IT WAS 20 FUCKING THOUSAND CASES TODAY! I've worked there for 16 years, I've never seen anything like this.

I went grocery shopping after work and had to run through the aisles because as soon as I got in the store an announcement was made over the loudspeaker: "Attention shoppers! Vons will be closing in five minutes. Bring all purchases to the checkout stands now." They are closing early and opening late. All the aisles were pretty much picked clean, there was no bread at all, not even the shitty rye bread. No canned soup. No macaroni.

Most of the bars and restaurants in my neighborhood are temporarily closing. The one down the street that is still open had only a small crowd in it.

And there's a news report that says S&P futures indicate that the stock market is going to open down hard tomorrow. They apparently don't like the Fed's plan to save us all.

What a cluster fuck this all is.

[RIPT2.0]

Dropped about $500 at the liquor store today. The apocalypse may now proceed.

[Badfellow]

GOD. FUCKING. DAMB. The usual Sunday volume where I work (loading up trucks to deliver potato chips, Fritos, etc, to grocery stores) is about 6 - 7 thousand cases. IT WAS 20 FUCKING THOUSAND CASES TODAY! I've worked there for 16 years, I've never seen anything like this.

Over the weekend, it was the worst panic buying I've ever seen in this country. But from what people are saying, including yourself, distribution is still functioning and moving way above normal volume to restock the shelves.

I sincerely hope that by this time next week, all the participants of the Great Grocery Store Stampede of 2020 feel like fools.

[Rye and Coke]

Welp, Gov. Hogan just laid down the hammer. In 40 minutes all bars and restaurants in Maryland will be closed. GOD DAMNIT! SONUVABITCH!

What the ffuck, whuh...wha wwhere WHERE ARE WE?! What world are we living in?!

Jesus Fucking Christ.

This shit just keeps getting worse and worse. They're talking about kids being out of school until April? That means Jack's home too, because she's a teacher, plus the kids! I'm stuck at home because my office closed down, letting us telework.

This is about to turn into some cabin fever, Shining-shit. Better keep the bar stocked just in case ghosts start talking to me.

[RIPT2.0]

I am not worried about buying beer, food, or gas but when they start talking about shutting down all "non essential" businesses for at least two weeks I say fuck that. I've got two cases of 1.75L vodka, one case of 1.75L whiskey, one handle of Kraken, one handle of Beefeaters gin, and a bottle of Wisniowka (great for coughs). Between that and the liquor I already had on hand I figure I can go 2-3 months. After that I guess I either quit drinking or I stick to a beer diet.