Thompson’s Theories of Diet and Health

[Thompson]

Don`t be too worried:

"I tend to sweat heavily in warm climates. My clothes are soaking wet from dawn to dusk. This worried me at first, but when I went to a doctor and described my normal daily intake of booze, drugs and poison he told me to come back when the sweating stopped."


Hunter S. Thompson

This is a true story, and most of mine ain’t. It was either my first or second year in high school and this was when, you know, you could pick classes like creative reading or some bullshit like that. And you have to give a book report of course. My grandma, on my advice and request, bought me my first book for my creative reading class — Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I wrote a grand review in my report. My teacher, the creative reading teacher, did not approve one bit and demanded that I start reading Pilgrim’s Progress , handed me the book to read. And then she said Start reading it. I said Well can I have my book back? My Grandma wrote an inscription in it. She didn’t read it no, but she was a lot nicer than you about this creative masterpiece.

[Thompson]

Oettinger, have you come across Charles Willeford in your journeys? Bukowski has been mentioned several times and now a big shout out to Hunter S. Willeford is funny as fuck. He’s got these four Hoke Moseley detective novels that will stun you to the bone they are so good.

[Thompson]

There are 62 guests on line right now in this thread. They are bots apparently. What are they looking for? Words and phrases I would think. I posted the word ideate a while back and I just heard an announcer say it. Has anybody heard that word spoken before? 62 robots kind of gives you the creeps. Can’t do no harm I guess . Sticks and stones . . .

[Thompson]

I’m in a bit of trouble now. Yes sir. My bartender girlfriend just poured a 1.75 down the sink. She tried to lecture me and I said Don’t fucking lecture me, I’m old enough to be your brother. And she poured the bottle down the drain. I watched it happen and it didn’t register until the bottle was empty. It was surreal . I just put my shoes on and Maybe I can make it to the taco place where they have some straight up good margaritas. I’m sick and tired of falling down all over the joint, so that might be hard to do. I could crawl, it’s just three blocks. I’ll crawl, you bet your ass, and I’m going to sit on the patio and drink tequila until I cool off. This is the kind of shit in life that you wonder about all the way around. Did any of you boys or girls ever Think of tossing a drink down the Sink? Let alone a whole 1.75? We’ll see what happens. I might have a taco or two.

[oettinger]

^^^ To quote ol Booznik: "That`s alcohol abuse"

[Thompson]

Always trying to save money, be frugal, I don’t discard cigarettes that have cigarette left in the bottom there. Like a can a beer, you wake up and there’s a couple slugs, you put it in the fridge. Well I just burnt my whole fucking right eyelash off lighting a short butt. I believe I’ve damaged my eye as well and the eyelid too. Im not going to hospital because I don’t do that, but here we go, here is another pain, trying to be frugal and save a dollar, I done burnt my eye out the socket.

[Thompson]

And I live with this mean hooker who pours my whiskey down the drain and hasn’t given me a hook in I don’t know when.

Things are about to change. My foot is coming down. Except I’ve got some kind of gout bruise on it, and I’m afraid of the gangrene .

[Thompson]

But I’m going to stay right with it. I’ve got nowhere else to go.

[Thompson]

Plus I’m a Lord of Benders now, and quite proud of that title.

[oettinger]

here is another pain

Tom Berrenger has a thing to say about that one

[Thompson]

Pizza always sounds good but it rarely satisfies, too greasy, crust too fat, too much cheese, no garlic. Eat one piece and bloat up like a balloon, too expensive. Instead of ordering a pizza you should boil several hard boiled eggs. If you can eat two boiled eggs then consider that a victory and have a shot and beer.

[Thompson]

Now Wolf Brand chili with beans is an excellent back up with the boiled eggs. Not that you eat two eggs then eat a bowl of chili, no you eat two eggs one day then you eat some chili the next. You don’t have to eat the whole can of chili, there are two servings in a can of Wolf Brand. Eggs are very nutritious but low in calories so you should get the salt and pepper out and eat two hard boiled eggs then have a shot and a beer.

[Thompson]

I’m under my blanket, my head is under the blanket, and the stink is plenty bad, it’s like you can’t believe how bad it is so you put it out your mind and come out from under the blanket for a shot of rye and a post.

Today I called a taxi, a United Cab, I can’t remember where I was going but I knew I could never get there because my balance is so fucked up I can’t go anywhere. The cab came and I made it into the cab. Where to, Bubs, said the cabdriver. How far can I go? I said back to the cabdriver. How far do you want to go? He said back to me. Well, I said, I was thinking of either Heaven or Hell. That’s tricky, he said back to me, it all depends on availability, like a hotel, but you can’t book Heaven or Hell over the internet, you have to take your chances live. Okay, I said, let’s try Hell. Good choice, the cabdriver said, it’s closer and a few bucks cheaper.

[Badfellow]

The grease is both your friend and your enemy.

It sops up the Black Velvet and Kamchatka like nobody’s beeswax, but then you’re left squatting in the ruins of your own intestinal demise. GPS coordinate search: a creek of shit runneth.

I will personally track you down and make you eat kale with some red beans and rice. Don’t make me break out the lentils.

[Badfellow]

Fucker, you’re eating oatmeal and molasses for the next 14 minutes.