Happy Independence Day, Drunks!
Moderators: Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator, Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, oettinger, Judge
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Frankennietzsche
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Re: Happy Birthday, USA
That is so ridiculous that it has to be a running gag, or, internet meme, if you will. Or, it has to have been started as one, at least.
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”
"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "
"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"
"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "
"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"
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Judge
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Re: Happy Birthday, USA
I believe in America. America has made my fortune. And I raised my daughter in the
American fashion. I gave her freedom, but -- I taught her never to dishonor her family. She
found a boyfriend; not an Italian. She went to the movies with him; she stayed out late. I
didn't protest. Two months ago, he took her for a drive, with another boyfriend. They made
her drink whiskey. And then they tried to take advantage of her. She resisted. She kept her
honor. So they beat her, like an animal. When I went to the hospital, her nose was a'broken.
Her jaw was a'shattered, held together by wire. She couldn't even weep because of the pain.
But I wept. Why did I weep? She was the light of my life -- beautiful girl. Now she will
never be beautiful again.
American fashion. I gave her freedom, but -- I taught her never to dishonor her family. She
found a boyfriend; not an Italian. She went to the movies with him; she stayed out late. I
didn't protest. Two months ago, he took her for a drive, with another boyfriend. They made
her drink whiskey. And then they tried to take advantage of her. She resisted. She kept her
honor. So they beat her, like an animal. When I went to the hospital, her nose was a'broken.
Her jaw was a'shattered, held together by wire. She couldn't even weep because of the pain.
But I wept. Why did I weep? She was the light of my life -- beautiful girl. Now she will
never be beautiful again.
Proverbs 31:6&7
"Pain is sometimes the price of laughter."-Oggar
CPE1704TKS
"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane"-Marcus Aurelius
And afterwords we can run amok! Or if you're too tired, we can walk amok.
"Pain is sometimes the price of laughter."-Oggar
CPE1704TKS
"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane"-Marcus Aurelius
And afterwords we can run amok! Or if you're too tired, we can walk amok.
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steved2112
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Re: Happy Birthday, USA
Nobody ever made your daughter drink whiskey.Judge wrote:I believe in America. America has made my fortune. And I raised my daughter in the
American fashion. I gave her freedom, but -- I taught her never to dishonor her family. She
found a boyfriend; not an Italian. She went to the movies with him; she stayed out late. I
didn't protest. Two months ago, he took her for a drive, with another boyfriend. They made
her drink whiskey. And then they tried to take advantage of her. She resisted. She kept her
honor. So they beat her, like an animal. When I went to the hospital, her nose was a'broken.
Her jaw was a'shattered, held together by wire. She couldn't even weep because of the pain.
But I wept. Why did I weep? She was the light of my life -- beautiful girl. Now she will
never be beautiful again.
I feel like I;' Typing down hill.
-F. Sott Blitzedgerald
-F. Sott Blitzedgerald
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Lush City
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Re: Happy Birthday, USA
Judge, if you are on the level there are no words. Please tell us true.
Found myself in the Matrix and took the red pill. Now I want the blue pill and my bottle and leave me alone.
Re: Happy Birthday, USA
It's from The Godfather, a great American film! In fact I may watch it when I get in from work.
"Spiny norman wins on the bizzare terror stakes, if you haven't been stared at by a 40-foot hedgehog, you haven't lived." - Saltandgin
"Every time you don't get loaded, the terrorists win." - massivedrunk
WWDJFD?
"Every time you don't get loaded, the terrorists win." - massivedrunk
WWDJFD?
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Palinka (RIP)
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Re: Happy Birthday, USA
You guys better familiarise yourselves with quotes from The Godfather, the Judge (who, incidentally, is Scots-American) may be on a role; especially after you lot insulted his attempt to follow a recipe from that film.
"If I had all the money that I've spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink!"
"The trouble with internet quotes is that one can never be sure if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
Kindly listen to this, please.
ドロンケン
"The trouble with internet quotes is that one can never be sure if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
Kindly listen to this, please.
ドロンケン
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treetop
- Drinking God's Good Scotch
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Re: Happy Birthday, USA
also, judges real daughter would have clouted those insolents about the head and then displayed her mdm ink and told them about her couple hunnert brothers and uncles that were about to make their lives a living hell. and then she would have laughed and laughed.
it's all good in the woods, nobody hears me when i scream.
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mistah willies
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Re: Happy Birthday, USA
Indeed. The Godfather is scary and beautiful.GinSoakedGirl wrote:It's from The Godfather, a great American film! In fact I may watch it when I get in from work.
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steved2112
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Re: Happy Birthday, USA
I knew it was a quote. I was just rolling with it.
I feel like I;' Typing down hill.
-F. Sott Blitzedgerald
-F. Sott Blitzedgerald
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Savage
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Re: Happy Birthday, USA
Not getting Godfather quotes is like not getting Caddyshack quotes. Only one makes you go, "Oh, wow. I think about gangster Italians in a totally different way, now." And you drink a lot of red wine. And the other makes you titter and slam shots of Maker's at all the best quotes, and almost think that golf could be kinda cool. * But I'm English-Irish-German, so what do I know? (Besides how to drink like a champion fish and never get a hangover.) Also, killer potato salad, but you can thank my grandma for that.
*But then you briefly S*O*B*E*R *** up, and realize that it is not.***
***Damn. I hate when that happens. Bunch of old Carry Nations!
*But then you briefly S*O*B*E*R *** up, and realize that it is not.***
***Damn. I hate when that happens. Bunch of old Carry Nations!
like tears in rain
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coqui_chris
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Re: An Independence Day Toast
Did you hear the cops finally busted Madame Marie for telling fortunes better than they do?
"To avoid criticism: Do nothing, Say nothing, Be nothing" - Fred Shero
"You hear players, media people say it's tough to play in Philly in front of these fans. To those people, I say, you didn't have the guts to succeed here." - John Kruk
"You hear players, media people say it's tough to play in Philly in front of these fans. To those people, I say, you didn't have the guts to succeed here." - John Kruk
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Palinka (RIP)
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Independence Eve?
In a series of adverts, starring Zachary Quinto (A.K.A. Spock 2.0), Stephen Merchant (A.K.A. Ricky Gervais' sidekick) and some London Cabbies, amongst others, to try to convince US citizens how much nicer life would be for them if they hadn't bothered with Independence (or just to drink a lot of Newcastle Brown Ale on the 3rd of July; which they are trying to rebrand as "Independence Eve").
"If I had all the money that I've spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink!"
"The trouble with internet quotes is that one can never be sure if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
Kindly listen to this, please.
ドロンケン
"The trouble with internet quotes is that one can never be sure if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
Kindly listen to this, please.
ドロンケン
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Smatter Noguts
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Re: Independence Eve?
If you'd won, you'd still have an Irish problem.
It is becoming apparent in the last few years that we are not capable of self-government anyway, so maybe your history counter-factual has some merit.
Friday we'll hoist the Union Jack and throw water balloons at the stars and stripes bedecked pontoon boats parading past Dad's at 6 PM, as is our custom.
Also, my once-a-year ginand tonic endrunkening.
It is becoming apparent in the last few years that we are not capable of self-government anyway, so maybe your history counter-factual has some merit.
Friday we'll hoist the Union Jack and throw water balloons at the stars and stripes bedecked pontoon boats parading past Dad's at 6 PM, as is our custom.
Also, my once-a-year ginand tonic endrunkening.
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mistah willies
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Re: Independence Eve?
Independence.
Huh.
Huh.
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Frankennietzsche
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Re: Independence Eve?
BAAAALLLderdash, I say.
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”
"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "
"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"
"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "
"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"