TARTANSPECIAL wrote:Ahh, weddings
Lots of drink, hot and cold bridesmaids. plus a guaranteed fist fight at the end of the night :twisted:
the last time i was in a fight was about 5 or 6 years ago at my buddies wedding. talk about a redneck wedding. half the people in attendance showed up wearing knee high rubber boots and overalls. most had to leave temporarily in the middle because farm chores don't wait, even for weddings.
after several keg stands and gettin' freaky on the dance floor with someone's geriatric aunt, me and a friend went a few rounds. i woke up the next morning in the basement feeling like the biggest asshole ever for fighting at a wedding, and went to beg forgiveness from the bride, and she actuall looked me square in the eyes, smiled and said, "now it just wouldn't be a wedding without a fistfight would it?" i'm glad she forgave me, but damn, someone fights at my wedding, well i can't say i'll care, but i'm sure the wiff would kill him.
road to hell is paved with unbought stuffed dogs.
"I AM TOO DRUNK TO TASTE THIS CHICKEN."
colonel sanders
One of my stepdaughters married into a family that, if only they could read, could write a dandy cookbook of roadkill recipes. They are staunch southern baptists, and do not drink or dance. Her father noticed one of the groom's male relatives lurking outside the church as the ceremony was about to begin. "Come on inside," he said. The relative said, as he expectorated a stream of brown goo, "Nah, the preacher won't let me take my spit cup inside."
And these hillbillies look down on us because we drink!
Savage Swiller wrote:One of my stepdaughters married into a family that, if only they could read, could write a dandy cookbook of roadkill recipes. They are staunch southern baptists, and do not drink or dance. Her father noticed one of the groom's male relatives lurking outside the church as the ceremony was about to begin. "Come on inside," he said. The relative said, as he expectorated a stream of brown goo, "Nah, the preacher won't let me take my spit cup inside."
And these hillbillies look down on us because we drink!
Savage, I live and work amongst these folks. You have to live it, to believe it.
Lucky, I should say that the man she married is not that way. He got the heck out of WV and runs his own business. He can read, and even count to twenty without taking off his shoes! Of course, many of his relatives can count to 24 when they do this.
Savage Swiller wrote:Lucky, I should say that the man she married is not that way. He got the heck out of WV and runs his own business. He can read, and even count to twenty without taking off his shoes! Of course, many of his relatives can count to 24 when they do this.
