Proper Drunk Clothing

Al Bob · Post by **Al Bob** » Tue Oct 16, 2007 9:45 pm

Hi all. I'm 21 and looking to get my first fine-looking suit. The problem is, I have no idea what brand to look for, or where to start at all. Any suggestions?

Post by **Judge** » Tue Oct 16, 2007 9:51 pm

A lot of these drunk generally end up without pants...so you might want to get one of those key chain clapper things attached to the belt.

Go to the Men's Wearhouse tell the chick you want a suit and don't know shit...you'll have three girls fussing over you and mix/matching all that shit. Make sure they scotch guard it for puke. Tell them you work in food service management.

fiyah · Post by **fiyah** » Tue Oct 16, 2007 9:54 pm

What's the occasion??

Welcome aboard, new guy.. How about a Guiness with a Jameo back?

fiyah · Post by **fiyah** » Tue Oct 16, 2007 9:55 pm

Hanging Judge wrote:A lot of these drunk generally end up without pants...so you might want to get one of those key chain clapper things attached to the belt.

Go to the Men's Wearhouse tell the chick you want a suit and don't know shit...you'll have three girls fussing over you and mix/matching all that shit. Make sure they scotch guard it for puke. Tell them you work in food service management.

Frickin' words of a genius!

Count Sporkula · Post by **Count Sporkula** » Tue Oct 16, 2007 9:55 pm

Hanging Judge wrote:A lot of these drunk generally end up without pants...so you might want to get one of those key chain clapper things attached to the belt.

Go to the Men's Wearhouse tell the chick you want a suit and don't know shit...you'll have three girls fussing over you and mix/matching all that shit. Make sure they scotch guard it for puke. Tell them you work in food service management.

Be sure to tell them to measure the inseam... all 3 of them

**** · Post by ******** » Tue Oct 16, 2007 9:55 pm

dickies.
vomit-proof.

fiyah · Post by **fiyah** » Tue Oct 16, 2007 9:58 pm

nic of 1000 corpses wrote:dickies.
vomit-proof.

well if we're going for functionality, definitely go with a black plastic bag and 3 holes cut out..

PS, the bottom hole is for peeing..

Bundy · Post by **Bundy** » Tue Oct 16, 2007 11:00 pm

i like to drink in my birthday suit.

skin armani baby

edit: Skin armani or Skarmani: when you are plastered and reckon that the outfit you have on, chosen carefully a bunch of beers ago, is not as attractive as being as nature intended.....

eg: "See Bundy the other night? got so muntered he wound up in his Skarmani... one of his socks landed in a girls Moist Gusset."

Rooster · Post by **Rooster** » Wed Oct 17, 2007 6:50 am

I took the Judge's advice and it turned out well. If you puke a lot, as I do, scotch guard is a must. I ruined my suit during an infamous visit to a wedding in Canada. The Men's Warehouse has a reasonable selection, and they'll tailor the suit there for you. It's not a bad gig... and you'll find out if you really like wearing suits or not. It's sort of Business Wear with Training Wheels.

ivan · Post by **ivan** » Wed Oct 17, 2007 9:42 am

Navy blazer, khakis, cotton dress shirt in either white or light blue.

This is the single most functional outfit for a Drunkard man. Special occasion? Red tie with navy accents (either paisley or diagonal stripes), black Chucks. More casual? No tie, collar open, unbleached white Chucks. Even more casual? Leave the jacket at home, untuck the shirt, roll the shirtsleeves about halfway up the forearm. Stick with the unbleached white Chucks.

And it's never out of style. Never 100% the fashion of the day, either, so it's not a dated look. And for the love of all that is holy, don't get pleated khakis, or those with a half-elastic waistband.

greygoose · Post by **greygoose** » Wed Oct 17, 2007 9:49 am

Don't forget the ascot and smoking jacket.

190Flask · Post by **190Flask** » Wed Oct 17, 2007 9:54 am

Or the monocle. NEVER forget the monocle.

danger awesome · Post by **danger awesome** » Wed Oct 17, 2007 10:55 am

nic of 1000 corpses wrote:dickies.
vomit-proof.

Amen. Dickies is the shit, i spill anything on my pants/shorts, just wipe it off, good as new!

I say buy a proper cheap pinstripe one with a matching hat. Genuine class is over-rated - looking vaguely acceptable while behaving badly, however, is not.

shylock · Post by **shylock** » Wed Oct 17, 2007 11:01 am

I'd go with the sock and a nice tophat. Make sure to have a feather, preferably one that matches the sock.

cloud8 · Post by **cloud8** » Wed Oct 17, 2007 11:06 am

You'll need a good cap, too.