McDonalds just ruined my life

[liquor&poker]

McDonalds is an evil empire of corruption and fear.

I may have had too much to drink last night and didn't eat much at all the whole day so this morning I was still half drunk and half asleep and fully hungry so I decided to get some McDonalds breakfast.

I order the #10 - A delicious Steak McSkillet. Filled with potato, steak, egg, cheese, and salsa for an extra kick, the Steak McSkillet will satiate my desires to the fullest extreme. I upgrade to a medium coffee. When she says the total, I think, "welp, that didn't sound quite right" but I don't worry about it and I pay.

I get the bag and it seems a little light..."maybe I'm just fucked up," I think. My head is airy and confused but I head to the office without checking the bag.

I get here, ready to savor the flavors of a delicious breakfast burrito and open it up, staring blankly at the round object I've uncovered. This is definitely not a burrito. It's a fucking sausage mcmuffin.

Let me say a few words about the sausage mcmuffin. It's the worst thing in the world, if I can be honest. First of all, it's sausage, and mcd's sausage sucks enormous dicks. McDonalds sausage is like a huge mouth filled with 4 dicks of different nationalities, all pumping hot cum into it. Eating a McDonalds sausage is like sucking on a horse dick except that the sausage has a lot less flavor. It FEELS kind of like sausage, but it tastes like plain black pepper. It's just fucked.

And the mcmuffin. FUCK a mcmuffin. Who in their right goddamned mind when be presented with a choice between a delicious, warm, soft, fluffy, buttery biscuit, and a sick, chewy, bland, muffin like thing, would choose the muffin? Mcmuffins are for A. Broke people or B. Mentally retarded people with no tastebuds. It's a fucking nightmare.

So now I have this faggot of a sandwich with NO CHEESE WHATSOEVER on my desk. I'm hungry, so I will probably eat it, but my entire day, if not year, is ruined now.

McDonalds is lucky it makes the most perfect hashbrown of all time. A mcdonalds hasbrown is like eating out God's own sweet pussy, I can't wait to chow down on that fucker.

Fucking McMuffin.

FUCK

[peetie44]

l&p,

So it's NOT a McHappy Meal, I take it?

Bummer, dude...

[cornbread714]

I have a love/hate thing with Mickey D's.
First of all, they are one of the most evil and soulless Corporate behemoths ever - especially when it comes to brainwashing kids.
On the other hand, I like (and somtimes unnaturally crave) certain McD products. Yes, the hashbrowns are good, and I like the Breakfast Burritos. And I'm one of the 9 or 10 people on the entire planet who will admit to liking McNuggets (w/ bbq sauce, of course)...
The only problem is: McDonald's doesn't sell Breakfast Burritos in Holland!! In fact, they hardly do breakfast at all. And some of the Dutch McD items are beyond foul. NEVER order a Chicken Curry sandwich, and if anyone offers you a McKroket, run away very fast... and far...

(Does anyone remember McDonald's locations in Maine selling Lobster Salad Croissants? I could swear I remember eating one, and it was damn tasty...)

[Steve]

That description of the sausage made me laugh out loud, I must say, but I feel your pain. Not much is more annoying than when you've got your tastebuds ready for one particular meal and it all goes wrong. That can put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day.

[noirly]

McDonalds is an evil empire of corruption and fear.

I may have had too much to drink last night and didn't eat much at all the whole day so this morning I was still half drunk and half asleep and fully hungry so I decided to get some McDonalds breakfast.

I order the #10 - A delicious Steak McSkillet. Filled with potato, steak, egg, cheese, and salsa for an extra kick, the Steak McSkillet will satiate my desires to the fullest extreme. I upgrade to a medium coffee. When she says the total, I think, "welp, that didn't sound quite right" but I don't worry about it and I pay.

I get the bag and it seems a little light..."maybe I'm just fucked up," I think. My head is airy and confused but I head to the office without checking the bag.

I get here, ready to savor the flavors of a delicious breakfast burrito and open it up, staring blankly at the round object I've uncovered. This is definitely not a burrito. It's a fucking sausage mcmuffin.

Let me say a few words about the sausage mcmuffin. It's the worst thing in the world, if I can be honest. First of all, it's sausage, and mcd's sausage sucks enormous dicks. McDonalds sausage is like a huge mouth filled with 4 dicks of different nationalities, all pumping hot cum into it. Eating a McDonalds sausage is like sucking on a horse dick except that the sausage has a lot less flavor. It FEELS kind of like sausage, but it tastes like plain black pepper. It's just fucked.

And the mcmuffin. FUCK a mcmuffin. Who in their right goddamned mind when be presented with a choice between a delicious, warm, soft, fluffy, buttery biscuit, and a sick, chewy, bland, muffin like thing, would choose the muffin? Mcmuffins are for A. Broke people or B. Mentally retarded people with no tastebuds. It's a fucking nightmare.

So now I have this faggot of a sandwich with NO CHEESE WHATSOEVER on my desk. I'm hungry, so I will probably eat it, but my entire day, if not year, is ruined now.

McDonalds is lucky it makes the most perfect hashbrown of all time. A mcdonalds hasbrown is like eating out God's own sweet pussy, I can't wait to chow down on that fucker.

Fucking McMuffin.

FUCK

how the hell do you know whut thats like ....wait I dont wanna know....

[Smatter Noguts]

This, too, shall pass.

Courage.

[Rip Rufus]

I feel for you,L&P. Just the other day, I ordered my usual Sausage & Egg McMuffin, and I was pissed off when I got some bullshit burrito thing instead.

I try to avoid McDonald's as much as possible, but sometimes it's the only viable option for dinner. The Southern chicken sandwich is pretty good, and simple - not loaded down with extra sauces, cheese, vegetables, flavor...

[Sleestack]

I have a love/hate thing with Mickey D's.
First of all, they are one of the most evil and soulless Corporate behemoths ever - especially when it comes to brainwashing kids.
On the other hand, I like (and somtimes unnaturally crave) certain McD products. Yes, the hashbrowns are good, and I like the Breakfast Burritos. And I'm one of the 9 or 10 people on the entire planet who will admit to liking McNuggets (w/ bbq sauce, of course)...
The only problem is: McDonald's doesn't sell Breakfast Burritos in Holland!! In fact, they hardly do breakfast at all. And some of the Dutch McD items are beyond foul. NEVER order a Chicken Curry sandwich, and if anyone offers you a McKroket, run away very fast... and far...

(Does anyone remember McDonald's locations in Maine selling Lobster Salad Croissants? I could swear I remember eating one, and it was damn tasty...)

Okay CB, I'll bite (<--snicker!!) What the fuck is a McKroket? Is that the same as the curry sandwhich?

[cornbread714]

I have a love/hate thing with Mickey D's.
First of all, they are one of the most evil and soulless Corporate behemoths ever - especially when it comes to brainwashing kids.
On the other hand, I like (and somtimes unnaturally crave) certain McD products. Yes, the hashbrowns are good, and I like the Breakfast Burritos. And I'm one of the 9 or 10 people on the entire planet who will admit to liking McNuggets (w/ bbq sauce, of course)...
The only problem is: McDonald's doesn't sell Breakfast Burritos in Holland!! In fact, they hardly do breakfast at all. And some of the Dutch McD items are beyond foul. NEVER order a Chicken Curry sandwich, and if anyone offers you a McKroket, run away very fast... and far...

(Does anyone remember McDonald's locations in Maine selling Lobster Salad Croissants? I could swear I remember eating one, and it was damn tasty...)

Okay CB, I'll bite (<--snicker!!) What the fuck is a McKroket? Is that the same as the curry sandwhich?

Try to imagine the glop from a Swanson's Beef Chicken Pot Pie with no peas, carrots, or texture of any kind (not to mention flavor), somehow deep-fried, so when you take a bite it cums in your mouth... This is also served on a very uninspired bun.

[l...]

i LOVE chicken mc nuggets. that is all.

[Sleestack]

I have a love/hate thing with Mickey D's.
First of all, they are one of the most evil and soulless Corporate behemoths ever - especially when it comes to brainwashing kids.
On the other hand, I like (and somtimes unnaturally crave) certain McD products. Yes, the hashbrowns are good, and I like the Breakfast Burritos. And I'm one of the 9 or 10 people on the entire planet who will admit to liking McNuggets (w/ bbq sauce, of course)...
The only problem is: McDonald's doesn't sell Breakfast Burritos in Holland!! In fact, they hardly do breakfast at all. And some of the Dutch McD items are beyond foul. NEVER order a Chicken Curry sandwich, and if anyone offers you a McKroket, run away very fast... and far...

(Does anyone remember McDonald's locations in Maine selling Lobster Salad Croissants? I could swear I remember eating one, and it was damn tasty...)

Okay CB, I'll bite (<--snicker!!) What the fuck is a McKroket? Is that the same as the curry sandwhich?

Try to imagine the glop from a Swanson's Beef Chicken Pot Pie with no peas, carrots, or texture of any kind (not to mention flavor), somehow deep-fried, so when you take a bite it cums in your mouth... This is also served on a very uninspired bun.

Why the hell did you have to really tell me that. That's nasty...you could have lied!

I think how you mention that it "cums in your mouth" really explains it...

I like food from all over Japenese, Indian, etc... but sometimes there is some shit out there that is just an abomination to the culinary arts.

BTW - McNuggets kick commie ass!

[cornbread714]

sometimes there is some shit out there that is just an abomination to the culinary arts.

You mean Arby's?

[ThirstyDrunk]

Arby's uses downed cows

[Sleestack]

sometimes there is some shit out there that is just an abomination to the culinary arts.

You mean Arby's?

Ahahahahaha!!! (<-Bender from Futurama...)

No shit! Talk about cumming in the mouth!!

Although their curly fries aren't half bad.

[cornbread714]

I love junk food (I love food, period). Some junk/fast food products I find worthwhile, others not. I could write a fucking thesis about it, but...
Even though I hate most everything Arby's (for instance) makes, I can persuade myself to eat there now and again, if only to remind myself why I don't go there often, and I'm generally only mildly offended.
But let me tell you about the most horrible restaurant chain that ever terrorized the Southwest:
Pancho's All-You-Can-Eat Mexican Buffet.
For around $5.99 (last time I looked), you would think that even mediocre Mexican food might be made up for by variety and quantity. I'm sorry, but you would be sadly mistaken. NOT ONE ITEM ON PANCHO'S MENU WOULD I FEED TO MY WORST ENEMY.
Pancho's makes Taco Bell look like exquisite gourmet fare by comparison. Pancho, if he even exists, should be slowly simmered to death in his foul yet tasteless enchilada sauce while being pelted with his cruel imitation of chiles rellenos.
Pancho should be marched in chains to Mexico City, and made to stand naked in the Plaza Garabaldi, while ridiculed by mariachi and curious passers-by.
I hope I've made my point.