I'm going to hunt those bastards down and punch them in the

[Savage]

face. The one that sang it, and the one that wrote it. And maybe their moms, for giving birth to them.
This *@#!ing song has always been one of my most hated tunes, but today, it seems created especially to torture me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLKMRhJGJeE

Tuesday night, I took a flying leap, (just the way so many people have told me to do), down a flight of stairs and into a lot of sharp and hard objects. My nose split, my lips split, I have numerous cuts, lumps, bruises, and, since Savages bounce, I've got a lovely purple tailbone too.
Worst of all, my two front dental crowns broke off. Hell, I'm still paying for one of them (wherever it is now). And it gets even better; my slackass dentist is taking his yearly vacation. He is so fired. I'm going back to that one with the bitch receptionist.

I feel terrible, and look worse. Hook me up to the bourbon IV, STAT