The Crappy Jokes thread!

A place for general talk.

Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator

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Savage
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Re: Ah well fuggit

Post by Savage »

Hugh wrote:
Tue Jan 11, 2022 3:10 am
I couldn't figure out where to put it so I made another new thread. Mods can put it wherever the fuck they like. I just want to indulge my smartasseness.

“Metropolitan Police Dispatch, how can I help you?”

“HELP!! THERES A WEREWOLF LOOSE IN LONDON!!”

“Alright, do you have a description of said werewolf?”

“...his hair was perfect ....”
For years, I thought it was purple. Which is cool. ('Scuse me, while I kiss this guy.)
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oettinger
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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by oettinger »

Recent small talk at the home-improve: I hit the nail on the spot cause I`m hammered
Drink!
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Savage
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Tell us a joke!

Post by Savage »

I'll start. Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?

In case they get a hole in one.
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Savage
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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by Savage »

Savage wrote:
Wed Jun 18, 2014 1:12 am
Hey, y'all. Do you know what is black and white and red all over?
Obama.
Thanks, y'all. I would say that I would be here all week, but I'm afraid our esteemed colleague will be banning me shortly, for political content.
Anyways, order the veal, it's freaking yummy, and do remember to tip your server well.
I don't even know what this means. I voted for the guy. Both times. That's all I remember. They seem like a lovely family. And my gawd, what came after... You might not like old Joe, but you gotta admit, he brought us back to normal.
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Hugh
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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by Hugh »

^^^ Wait, wut? This is normal?

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Savage
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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by Savage »

Hugh wrote:
Sun May 22, 2022 11:46 pm
^^^ Wait, wut? This is normal?
Well, considering the times. We could do better.
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Backbone Robby Bobby
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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by Backbone Robby Bobby »

Now that we've been face to face I don't wanna sound like an offended pussy regarding my weight problem. All I'm asking is that you don't make any fat jokes...
I have enough on my plate...

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Savage
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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by Savage »

Hugh wrote:
Sun May 22, 2022 11:46 pm
^^^ Wait, wut? This is normal?
Well, by comparison.
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Savage
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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by Savage »

Savage wrote:
Mon May 23, 2022 2:26 am
Hugh wrote:
Sun May 22, 2022 11:46 pm
^^^ Wait, wut? This is normal?
Well, considering the times. We could do better.
I mean, by comparison. typing is hard
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Savage
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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by Savage »

Backbone Robby Bobby wrote:
Sun Jun 26, 2022 6:10 am
Now that we've been face to face I don't wanna sound like an offended pussy regarding my weight problem. All I'm asking is that you don't make any fat jokes...
I have enough on my plate...
Is that another chicken dinner joke???

Bawk!
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Backbone Robby Bobby
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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by Backbone Robby Bobby »

Old couple and the husbands asks his wife:
-With how many men have you slept my Dear?
- Only with you. With the others I wasn't sleeping...

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Nausea
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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by Nausea »

How do you follow Will Smith in the mud? Follow the fresh prints.
Don't worry. We're in no hurry.

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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by Nausea »

What's Forrest Gump's password? 1forrest1
Don't worry. We're in no hurry.

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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by Nausea »

What concert would cost only 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
Don't worry. We're in no hurry.

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Savage
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Re: The Crappy Jokes thread!

Post by Savage »

Hugh wrote:
Sun May 22, 2022 11:46 pm
^^^ Wait, wut? This is normal?
Kinda like when we had Mr. Generic American Dad, Gerald Ford, after Nixon, who exited with dignity, at least. Prevented a lot of my friends from surfing near his mansion, but it's not like he wanted it that way. Give the old dude some credit. My grandaddy (born and raised in Texas) wore slacks and a blue short-sleeved shirt and dress shoes to the beach, so hey! Old guys gotta old.
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