Happy Thanksgiving Everybody!

[Savage]

Forgive grammar. ''Tis terrible early. Which brings up the question: What are your gifting plans? Grumpy wants a gun. I don't even know how to buy one. The only one we have is the WWII one that his father took off some fellow soldier in a card game or some such.

[Savage]

it is sort of crusty-rusty. hasn't been fired since the dumbass nazi tried to use it.

[Patchez]

Find a reputable firearms dealer in your area. Grumpy's fellow former grunts or any current grunts he works with should have one or two they trust in the area. Ask them who to go to. They may also know what Grumpy is interested in. Barring that just give the Grumpster the cash for it or a gift card from one of the recommended Gun stores. Then he can get exactly what he wants. Gun guys can be terribly picky about what they choose to own and use.

[scream ale]

Thanksgiving? On the 13th? What happened? Why wasn't I told? Why did I have to go to work today? What the fuck?

[Artful Drunktective]

Thanksgiving? On the 13th? What happened? Why wasn't I told? Why did I have to go to work today? What the fuck?

It was my bad. I posted this so us drunkards could prepare for Drunksgiving. Then everyone started wishing everyone Happy Thanksgiving for some reason haha.

Drunksgiving: A Thanksgiving Beer Guide

[oettinger]

Thanksdrinking is my type of holiday

[scream ale]

Happy Thanksdrinking amd Drunksgiving.

[oettinger]

and a belated Fuxgiving

[scream ale]

And a holy jolly hangover to all.

[Lush City]

Everyday I'm still alive to drink is a Drunksgiving and eat is Thanksgiving. That's everyday and you better get hip.

[Dear Booze]

For J Edgar Hoover and Joe McCarthy. Jesus, we miss you right now.

Thanksgiving Day, November twenty-sixth, 2020.

Thanks for the turkey and the ham and the potatoes and the stuffing and the pie and all the fancy charcuterie board appetizers. Yes, Lord, thank you for this small pacifier which helps to forget about the measly freedoms that have been stripped from us during the better part of this year.

Thanks for "science" which has the power to make us all safe. Thanks for helping us understand that "science" doesn't have a definition; it doesn't have to be exact. Sure one plus one always equals two. No matter what. Water freezes at 32 degrees Fahrenheit. No matter what. But science can change at any time and for no reason. I pray that all people will soon understand this and pray that we will all continue to blindly eat whatever is fed to us.

Thanks for a government that has shown tremendous leadership by creating a terrific method of tracking all movement of its subjects for the noble purpose of identifying those who may have been exposed to pestilence. And I pray that our righteous commanders of life and limb will soon share the secret high holy data which proves that drinking in bars and eating in restaurants has and will continue to serve as a shallow transparent lidded dish which acts as the growth medium in which cells of infectious diseases can be organically cultured. Please let us see it. I want to bask in the pleasure of putting more of those evil fuckers out of business. Let's completely destroy the lives of every single one of those business owners, and let's do it quickly. They are no better than gonorrhea-laden pedophiles and deserve all they get. Fuck 'em.

Thanks for the curfew which not only keeps the super-spreader riffraff off the streets, but also creates an environment which harkens back to the simpler times of Nazi Germany. "Show us your papers!" What a delightfully ironic twist: Those powerful people who once opposed this request are now demanding the use of it on their royal subjects.

Thanks for the new normal American dream, to fabricate and to falsify until the simple lies appear virtuous. Let's bring back Prohibition and chemical castration for queers. Why stop there? Lord, I pray for the total cleansing of all minds.

Again, thank you, God, for the turkey and the ham and the potatoes and the stuffing and the pie and all the fancy charcuterie board appetizers. I don't want so sound ungrateful, but I would really like to have an order of $300 truffle pasta from Napa's French Laundry, but I realize that I am not worthy.

Thank you for this greatest betrayal of our generation.

Amen

[Hugh]

I lit up a CBS news story in a similar but less worded manner: https://www.facebook.com/hugh.blanton.1 ... 81051756:1

[Hugh]

BTW - you sound like what William S Burroughs would have sounded like if he hadn't had a generous trust fund

[Dear Booze]

BTW - you sound like what William S Burroughs would have sounded like if he hadn't had a generous trust fund

An intentional rhapsody in the key of Burroughs, indeed.

[scream ale]

Cheers to Burroughs.



And cheers to the rest of you as well.