BADFELLOW FOR PRESIDENT

[oettinger]

What about king?

Behold emperor BF, ruler of drunkness, from the house of hangover.

Inauguration festivities start wednesday around noon at blackout castle

[Badfellow]

What about king?

Behold emperor BF, ruler of drunkness, from the house of hangover.

Inauguration festivities start wednesday around noon at blackout castle

Haven't you watched Game of Thrones? The CIA has me briefed up to season 4, and if television history is any reminder, kings are a bunch of pompous, namby-pamby fantasy fags who end up getting poisoned or beheaded. I can assure you, my fellow Drunkards, homey don't play that shit. At five vigorous gallons per flush, my Ferguson toilet, which I will bring to the White House, is all the throne I need to make America fucking kick ass again.

In entitling each citizen over the age of 14 to a bottle of MD 20/20, a ration of PCP and an automatic weapon, I hope to promote economic growth through massive civil unrest. Really, let's be honest people. War equals money. And if that's the case, why should we be having wars in other peoples countries when we can have one right here and keep the economic benefits to ourselves. Of course, the entirety of the Drunkard race will be well protected within the swank, massive super bunker I have constructed beneath the National Booze Depository in REDACTED. You can even watch the dystopian festivities live on HDTV from one of the four hundred bars and lounges in operation around the Primary Liquor Core.

Everything is going according to plan.
All Drunkard sleeper cells are instructed to hold their bar stools until further notice.

[NYDingbat]

I do NOT endorse this.

I did blow off the boring fucking Game of Thrones summary or whatever for senator - the fuck that.

[Lush City]

Mr. Badfellow, can you stand the scrutiny? -- Jake Tapper CBS News

[oettinger]

Skype tells me it`s FadBellow`s bday. Is that true?

[Badfellow]

I do NOT endorse this.

I find your lack of endorsement to be quite charming. Guards, take her to Room 101.

Mr. Badfellow, can you stand the scrutiny? -- Jake Tapper CBS News

Why, yes. I handle scrutiny very well. Typically at long range with a .338 Lapua or a 2000 lbs. laser guided bomb.

Skype tells me it`s FadBellow`s bday. Is that true?

My Skype birthday is updated in real-time by the cybernuts division of the NSA, and much like the glorious birthing event of my future Director of Slums Mr. Viking, it is celebrated throughout much of the year. And that is all the people need to know!

[Lush City]

There are rumors in social media that Mr. Badfellow's presidential campaign is being financed by Mexican drug cartels and a crazy high school chemistry teacher in New Mexico. Mr. Badfellow needs to address these allegations.

[Patchez]

We also want to know about the stain on Hillary's dress? Care to make a statement?

[Badfellow]

There are rumors in social media that Mr. Badfellow's presidential campaign is being financed by Mexican drug cartels and a crazy high school chemistry teacher in New Mexico...

In all honesty, it was the Zeta's who skipped out on the $140 billion bar tab that night at the Viper Room, and they were also the ones who insisted that River Phoenix inject triple shots of heroin into his balls after that pitcher of Jagermeister. Since then, it's always sunny in Sinaloa. And, as president, we will have a bucket of Los Pollos Hermanos on every table. Amen and pass the gravy.

We also want to know about the stain on Hillary's dress? Care to make a statement?

Well, she did make a bit of a mess when she stomped on Bernie Sanders. I told her to try Oxy-Clean with a little Borax. But the bitch thinks she knows everything.

[Frankennietzsche]

Borax.

That dude's hilarious.

[Badfellow]

Build a wall around Frankenietzschistan?

[Patchez]

I was gonna submit his name for consideration for Minister of Education.

Also I want to officially ask to be your Bar Czar or Drug Czar or a combo of the two.

[Smatter Noguts]

Testing 1-2, 1-2

[Frankennietzsche]

Build a wall around Frankenietzschistan?

There's already a wall...

...around my heart.

[mistah willies]

It's that a Sting reference? Or more like Berlin/Mexico?