The Hole

A place for general talk.

Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator

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Dear Booze
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Gigli, An Immersive Experience at The Hole

Post by Dear Booze »

Join us for a night of fun! The Hole is happy to bring you a night of all things Gigli, the best fucking piece of art the film world has ever seen.

For one night only, The greatest bar in the universe, and everywhere else, is proud to transform itself into a themed setting of the incredibly underrated 2003 film. It's the ultimate Gigli experience, made purely for the fans of the timeless classic.

See items featured in the film such as chairs and a clock which were purchased on ebay for this event.

Throughout the night, there’ll be all kinds of treats to indulge in:

See Gigli make a dozen Vodka & Tang Martinis before he heads out to kidnap the psychologically challenged younger brother of a powerful federal prosecutor.

Order a round of blended Gin and Grape Juice Daiquiris from Ricki, the gorgeous, free-spirited gangster who has her own set of orders to assist with the kidnapping.

FAQ's:

Q: Is this experience based on the book or the movie?
A: Fuck if I know. I haven't seen either one.

Q: Are masks or proof of vaccination required?
A: Fuck off.
DRINK!

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Badfellow
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Re: The Hole

Post by Badfellow »

Sounds kinda like some sort existentialist clap-trap, ghetto grape flavored, frizzle-flazzle, shizzle-shazzle, drizzle-dazzle, carpet bagging, fuck-fountain mouthed scheme to me.
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Re: The Hole

Post by scream ale »

Badfellow wrote:
Sat Apr 09, 2022 5:21 pm
Sounds kinda like some sort existentialist clap-trap, ghetto grape flavored, frizzle-flazzle, shizzle-shazzle, drizzle-dazzle, carpet bagging, fuck-fountain mouthed scheme to me.
I agree. This has Oett's name written all over it.

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oettinger
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Re: The Hole

Post by oettinger »

^^^ Whatever, this is my hole and I like it the way it is! No brutality entrances, no forced violence, no unwanted police officer crowds, and you`re all unwelcomed also /buttshut
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Re: The Hole

Post by Dear Booze »

The Hole is excited to announce Drinking Man 2.5

Date: Today
Time: 3 minutes from now

That's right, motherfuckers, you're all invited to pay to drink our booze and and pay to sleep on our floor for the next 27 days.

We have plenty of entertainment, games and fun planned, so hurry. You don't want to miss anything.

We may or may not have some sort of band.
There's the potential for some kind of golf game.
We've kind of discussed a stunt booze closet, but we have no idea what the fuck that even means.
Basically, we're going to figure this fucking thing out as we go. Or we won't. Who cares?

Remember you will be our guest, and we want to give you an experience that will create memories to last a lifetime. So, bring plenty of money, EBT cards, Marlboro Miles, Camel Bucks, recyclables, leftovers, and gently-used household appliances and children's clothing. Watch for details on our new "cash for clunkers" program.

Need dental work? We got you covered. Bring in you old teeth and trade them in for new ones. (Professional fitting by appointment only).

Since we own everything within 25 feet of this fucking place, you can pretty much do whatever the fuck you want. Ever dream of dancing with a horse? Fuck yeah, now's your chance. Pure decadence!

by reading this, you are hereby agreeing to the terms that we will make up as we go. you are now obligated to show up.
DRINK!

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Badfellow
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Re: The Hole

Post by Badfellow »

Say, now this is an event I can really get behind… as in get behind the dumpster and vomit.

Are you Hole people even licensed to do this sort of thing? What happens if someone catches a bad case of the clap from your coleslaw? Or if a rabid chimpanzee runs amok on the golf course and starts biting the testicles from your guests? Does your insurance cover sex trafficking? Is it LGBTQWERTY friendly? Are you boycotting Russia? Can I drive there drunk? Any hot chicks? Are you serving tacos? If so, street or American style? Do you validate parking? Where will we all defecate? Can I steal a gently used toaster oven and redeem it for a drink? Do you like tigers? What about pizza?
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Re: The Hole

Post by Dear Booze »

It's too bad that Surreal, Cheffie, Resident Asshole, Waahoohah, Space Monkey, Big Casino, Oettenger, Diva Bitch, Artful Drunktective, Badfellow, Nausea, Rye N Coke, Hugh, Drunken Anglo, Benito, Lush, Scream Ale, Patchez, and Whiskey Prick read the announcement, therefore saying they were coming and bailed out without letting us know. Mallory Knox "forgot". FKR and Palinka had good excuses. Several others did not. Lame.

There were a few others who bailed out without telling us, but we don't recognize their board names, so we ignored them. Palinka edited out SteveD from the list of assholes. I guess that's what Moderators do. I had to throw away a lot of food.

On the other hand, just a handful of Drunkards are enough for a good time. I just feel bad for Screwball (and wife) and Veen, who each flew in from Texas for the event.
Palinka (RIP) wrote:
Mon Jun 09, 2014 11:13 am
the hole wrote:...Palinka edited out SteveD from the list of assholes. I guess that's what Moderators do...
Yes. Moderators stop people unfairly accusing other Board members of being "assholes". I PMed you and told you that steved2112 had a good reason for being unable to attend. I am honour-bound not to go into details, as I explained. Now you want to be divisive about it. Whilst we are all grateful for your generosity in hosting the event and thank you very much for the time and effort (and money) that you put into the event, there is no call for you to start calling people names without knowing the full circumstances behind their inability to attend. I am very sorry that you had throw away food (shame that that there wasn't a homeless centre that you could donate it to), so to ease your pain, please let me know the address of your local Western Union and I'll wire you the money that you "wasted" on preparing for steved2112's visit. I'll even throw in for mine, even though I did tell you that I had an operation (and that I "wasted" a lot of money on buying an aeroplane ticket before I found out that I couldn't attend) because it's obviously an issue for you.
Yes, that's what moderators do. It's also what friends do, and people with a basic empathy for their fellow Drunkardist's suffering do.
DRINK!

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Dear Booze
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Re: The Hole

Post by Dear Booze »

Badfellow wrote:
Sun Apr 17, 2022 10:42 am
Say, now this is an event I can really get behind… as in get behind the dumpster and vomit.

Are you Hole people even licensed to do this sort of thing? What happens if someone catches a bad case of the clap from your coleslaw? Or if a rabid chimpanzee runs amok on the golf course and starts biting the testicles from your guests? Does your insurance cover sex trafficking? Is it LGBTQWERTY friendly? Are you boycotting Russia? Can I drive there drunk? Any hot chicks? Are you serving tacos? If so, street or American style? Do you validate parking? Where will we all defecate? Can I steal a gently used toaster oven and redeem it for a drink? Do you like tigers? What about pizza?
1 toaster = .1 beer
1 fry daddy = .5 beer
1 party grill cheese sandwich maker = .3 beer
1 ronco vacuum sealer = you get the shit knocked out of yourself
DRINK!

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oettinger
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Re: The Hole

Post by oettinger »

Since when did this turn into the holeshopping24 network thread?
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Re: The Hole

Post by scream ale »

oettinger wrote:
Sun Apr 17, 2022 1:34 pm
Since when did this turn into the holeshopping24 network thread?
That day you over slept. Good job

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Re: The Hole

Post by Dear Booze »

Celebrate Mother'sDay at THE HOLE

Here at The Hole, the citizens and aliens of the entire universe's favorite bar, we're celebration mothers in the most inclusive way possible. Yep, we're honoring mothers, mothers-to-be, house mothers, fur baby mothers, those who identify as mothers. mother of pearl, mother of all bombs, motherboards, Mark Mothersbaugh, and motherfuckers.
We don't want to alienate any subsection of moms by only catering to one version of what “mom” can mean. Families can also have two moms, two dads, or multiple “mom” roles—the rules of what makes a family is evolving, so we will make sure your Mother’s Day fits the ever-expanding mold to be on the right side of history.

So today, everyone who wants to be a mom can come on down and buy drinks, drink them and get the fuck out.
DRINK!

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oettinger
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Re: The Hole

Post by oettinger »

I`m at baby mama night in the Shed
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Badfellow
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Re: The Hole

Post by Badfellow »

Dear Booze wrote:
Sun May 08, 2022 10:38 am
come on down and buy drinks, drink them and get the fuck out.
It’s literally written in the business plan.



Also, a big shout-out to everyone who turned out (or turned someone else out) for the annual Mothers Day birth control awareness event. This year set a record for most condoms both distributed and used at a single event. And many thanks to the folks at Trojan who donated their stock of defective and/or expired product for the event.
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Re: The Hole

Post by OldDale »

Do I have to study the C hole to get to the A hole or do I start from the A over the B hole to work myself towards the C hole?

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Re: The Hole

Post by OldDale »

I think I've seen that movie in the 70ties.

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