Randomn known shit about DearBooze

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Artful Drunktective
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Re: Randomn known shit about DearBooze

Post by Artful Drunktective »

He is pissed that the Billy Joel 2020 tour is cancelled due to the shelter in place.

On the flip side, he is excited to finally put to use his personal Piña colada slushy machine. (Free umbrella's included in all drinks!)
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Re: Randomn known shit about DearBooze

Post by Badfellow »

He was captain of the Butt Chugging team at Harvard.

His favorite Billy Joel song is that shit with the piano.

Crack whores have been known to climb his fence and offer sexual favors in exchange for a roll of toilet paper. Seriously.

He drinks absinthe with his pinky out. Like a total dandy.

Amongst the taxi drivers in Las Vegas, he's known as "the dickhead who ruined the airport tunnel scam".
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

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Re: Randomn known shit about DearBooze

Post by Artful Drunktective »

DB at work:

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Okole maluna!

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Re: Randomn known shit about DearBooze

Post by Artful Drunktective »

He quit AA for many reasons.
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Re: Randomn known shit about DearBooze

Post by Badfellow »

He's a regular contributor to Extra Crispy Hash Brown Officianado magazine.

His official job title includes a question mark.

In high school he was best buds with Tony Hawk's older brother Mike and his younger brother York. You could say that Mike Hawk was bigger than York Hawk.
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Re: Randomn known shit about DearBooze

Post by Artful Drunktective »

He was the original choice to play "Bill" in "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure" but declined because he was working on his Mayoral Associates Degree.
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Re: Randomn known shit about DearBooze

Post by Nausea »

Artful Drunktective wrote:
Thu Jun 11, 2020 7:00 pm
He was the original choice to play "Bill" in "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure" but declined because he was working on his Mayoral Associates Degree.
Not sure if you're aware of this, but there's a new Bill & Ted in the works!

WILD STALLIONS.
Don't worry. We're in no hurry.

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Re: Randomn known shit about DearBooze

Post by Artful Drunktective »

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Okole maluna!

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Re: Randomn known shit about DearBooze

Post by Artful Drunktective »

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Okole maluna!

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Re: Randomn known shit about DearBooze

Post by Badfellow »

He refuses to chop the tips of his fingers off with an 8'' chef's knife while dicing onion for pico de gallo. And he doesn't use chicken beaks; what an amateur.


He has more Marboro miles under his lungs than der ashtraymeister Oettinger.

His favorite pseudo-Hasidic lawyer in sexual harassment lawsuits and self-rape litigation is Idon Knowman.
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Re: Randomn known shit about DearBooze

Post by Lush City »

Dear Booze is a Chinese spy. He has sold his booty for Chicom loot. Everything you say to him or post is sent to China to archive and mark you as a total drunk. This will greatly impact your social credit score, coming soon to a town near you.
Found myself in the Matrix and took the red pill. Now I want the blue pill and my bottle and leave me alone.
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Re: Randomn known shit about DearBooze

Post by Artful Drunktective »

In one day (and we witnessed it) he had a:

colonoscopy
dental exam
vasectomy
mankini Brazilian wax
Thai "massage"
scrotum lift

The only thing we didn't witness was the hooker that he buried in the desert later that night. And whose Persian rug he stole...
Okole maluna!

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Re: Randomn known shit about DearBooze

Post by oettinger »

His real name is Ear Ooze, and he`s from Alabama

and he has pubes growing on his back
Drink!
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Re: Randomn known shit about DearBooze

Post by Artful Drunktective »

He took his first girlfriend's virginity to this song Didn't mean to turn you on...
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Dear Booze
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Re: Randomn known shit about DearBooze

Post by Dear Booze »

Artful Drunktective wrote:
Sat Sep 12, 2020 3:37 am
He took his first girlfriend's virginity to this song Didn't mean to turn you on...
She wasn't my girlfriend.
DRINK!

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