It's the booze. I was unable to hold back my tears, seeing the images of all those poor, defenseless liquor bottles fallen off the shelves and smashed upon the floor. And just this week some 45,000 barrels of Jim Beam burned to cinders after a random lightning strike.
What the fuck is your problem, Mother Nature?
There are, of course, the human tragedies resultant from her bitchy mood swings. But the real victim here is all the liquor that will never have a chance to be consumed. Why must the booze always suffer? Why?
The real victims of the California earthquake
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- Badfellow
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The real victims of the California earthquake
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- Badfellow
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Re: The real victims of the California earthquake
I was praying to Satan just this morning and he said to me, "Badfellow."
And I said, "Yes, oh dark and unholy Father?"
And he said, "Mother Nature is bound to raise another shit fit, probably sooner than later. You must save the booze, my son."
And I said, "And how the fuck am I supposed to do that, oh mighty Beelzibub?
And he said, "You must drink it. Drink it all! Muahahaha!"
And I said, "As you command, Mr. Satan, sir. I'll start with top shelf and work my way down."
That's about how it happened.
And I said, "Yes, oh dark and unholy Father?"
And he said, "Mother Nature is bound to raise another shit fit, probably sooner than later. You must save the booze, my son."
And I said, "And how the fuck am I supposed to do that, oh mighty Beelzibub?
And he said, "You must drink it. Drink it all! Muahahaha!"
And I said, "As you command, Mr. Satan, sir. I'll start with top shelf and work my way down."
That's about how it happened.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ
Re: The real victims of the California earthquake
Ah Yeas God said,
you dumnd ass calvinistics will build another shrine
you dumnd ass calvinistics will build another shrine
Drink!
- ThirstyDrunk
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Re: The real victims of the California earthquake
only round 2. and now you want aftershock
Save what you can before that coast gently slides off into the great Pacific.
Save what you can before that coast gently slides off into the great Pacific.
Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought
- Badfellow
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Re: An open letter to the citizens of California
Dear California,
Send us your liquor before the Big One, before it's too late. Also, please send us your weed and your women, but only the good looking ones.
Send us your liquor before the Big One, before it's too late. Also, please send us your weed and your women, but only the good looking ones.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ
Re: An open letter to the citizens of California
Yeah and send cash, and smokes. You`ll all die soon. Hurry up, esp. folks from San Francisco. Your money needs to treat a bigger liver
Drink!
- Savage
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Re: The real victims of the California earthquake
I know. I wept, I lighted a candle for the survivors.
like tears in rain
- mistah willies
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- Dear Booze
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Re: The real victims of the California earthquake
Rigecrest Shakemistah willies wrote: ↑Sun Jul 07, 2019 9:09 am...and since straws are illegal there in Cali now, it's difficult to imbibe the lovely ethyl just lying in a puddle in the aisles.
Wonder what the name of that earthquake drink would be?
DRINK!
- mistah willies
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Re: The real victims of the California earthquake
Ah.Dear Booze wrote: ↑Sun Jul 07, 2019 7:55 pmRigecrest Shakemistah willies wrote: ↑Sun Jul 07, 2019 9:09 am...and since straws are illegal there in Cali now, it's difficult to imbibe the lovely ethyl just lying in a puddle in the aisles.
Wonder what the name of that earthquake drink would be?
The intestinal fortitude of the Ridgecrestians:
Shaken, not stirred.
The Big One will never happen. It's these sorts of things that take all the energy out.
<Sean Connery voice> "Moneypenny, I've dropped a quarter under my desk. Would you root around for it?"
- Badfellow
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Re: The real victims of the California earthquake
You people are making light of the fact that THOUSANDS OF LIQUOR BOTTLES DIED!
What if it were your bottle of Zima laying smashed and bleeding it's tasteless guts all over the floor?
What if it were your bottle of Zima laying smashed and bleeding it's tasteless guts all over the floor?
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- Badfellow
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Re: The real victims of the California earthquake
Ridgecrest on the rocks.Dear Booze wrote: ↑Sun Jul 07, 2019 7:55 pmRigecrest Shakemistah willies wrote: ↑Sun Jul 07, 2019 9:09 am...and since straws are illegal there in Cali now, it's difficult to imbibe the lovely ethyl just lying in a puddle in the aisles.
Wonder what the name of that earthquake drink would be?
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- Dear Booze
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Re: The real victims of the California earthquake
Recipe:Badfellow wrote: ↑Mon Jul 08, 2019 10:23 amRidgecrest on the rocks.Dear Booze wrote: ↑Sun Jul 07, 2019 7:55 pmRigecrest Shakemistah willies wrote: ↑Sun Jul 07, 2019 9:09 am
...and since straws are illegal there in Cali now, it's difficult to imbibe the lovely ethyl just lying in a puddle in the aisles.
Wonder what the name of that earthquake drink would be?
7 ounces of 151
.1 ounce Rolling Rock
Shake well
Serve over ice
DRINK!
- Rye and Coke
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Re: The real victims of the California earthquake
The Jim Beam fire hurt my goddamn heart, my coworker and I had a Maker's Mark shot in its memory. All that whiskey, quietly aging and asleep in its barrel, barely even 4 years old. Never had a chance, killed in its sleep.
...Jesus, this metaphor just got incredibly dark.
...Jesus, this metaphor just got incredibly dark.
"They told me to see the glass half full cause some see it as half empty
I chose to see the glass twice the size it needed to be" - Pharoahe Monch, 'Broken Again'
I chose to see the glass twice the size it needed to be" - Pharoahe Monch, 'Broken Again'
- Badfellow
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Re: The real victims of the California earthquake
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