Hey, man. I’m not Chinese or extra-testicular, but I’d gladly put on my ninja suit and steal all your booze. Probably all your weed and snacks too.Lush City wrote: ↑Sun Jun 06, 2021 6:15 pmI'm a secret agent employed by an international consortium of globalist technocratic dickheads out to conquer the world. I'm tasked with rooting out Chinese spies and E.T.'s who always seem to be stealing my booze! So, all of your posts are being scrutinized carefully.
TRUE CONFESSIONS
Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator
- Badfellow
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ
Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS
This is the Central Scrutinizer.Lush City wrote: ↑Sun Jun 06, 2021 6:15 pmI'm a secret agent employed by an international consortium of globalist technocratic dickheads out to conquer the world. I'm tasked with rooting out Chinese spies and E.T.'s who always seem to be stealing my booze! So, all of your posts are being scrutinized carefully.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter
If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider
Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice
If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider
Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice
- Artful Drunktective
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS
I always wanted to crack a bottle of booze over someone's head during a fight like you see in the movies. Dear Booze says it doesn't really smash apart like that in real life but that doesn't meant I wouldn't want to try.
Okole maluna!
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS
It probably wouldn't smash to pieces in real life. But you could probably smash someone's skull to pieces with a bottle of booze. Go for it, live the dream!
- ThirstyDrunk
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS
You can buy sugar glass bottles on Amazon, though I doubt you would get the satisfaction without REALLY cracking someone's head open.
Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought
- Badfellow
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS
I noticed a few years back that Budweiser changed to a type of bottle with a seam on the bottom that prevents it from breaking into a nice, jagged, stabby surface.
Seriously, if you absolutely need to use a beer bottle as a weapon, don’t try breaking it over anyone’s head; you’ll only fuck your hand up. You’re much better off gripping the neck and striking with the bottom of the bottle (the strongest part) in a downward motion. I’ve been hit in the head with a beer bottle and, let me tell you, it fucking hurts.
Seriously, if you absolutely need to use a beer bottle as a weapon, don’t try breaking it over anyone’s head; you’ll only fuck your hand up. You’re much better off gripping the neck and striking with the bottom of the bottle (the strongest part) in a downward motion. I’ve been hit in the head with a beer bottle and, let me tell you, it fucking hurts.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ
- Badfellow
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS
Those are great for when you need to convince your psycho ex-girlfriend that you’re eating glass.ThirstyDrunk wrote: ↑Tue Jul 13, 2021 3:32 pmYou can buy sugar glass bottles on Amazon, though I doubt you would get the satisfaction without REALLY cracking someone's head open.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS
Or your spying neighbors
- benitobeast69
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS
i smashed a bottle over someones head when i was younger and it smashed just like in the films..even left me with a jagged bottle edge as wellArtful Drunktective wrote: ↑Tue Jul 13, 2021 4:42 amI always wanted to crack a bottle of booze over someone's head during a fight like you see in the movies. Dear Booze says it doesn't really smash apart like that in real life but that doesn't meant I wouldn't want to try.
this was like 15 years ago so maybe they're made different.
Hangover cure: Rigorous sex, hydration, hot bath, then "go up for half an hour in an open aeroplane." - Kinglsey Amis
- Artful Drunktective
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS
Aside from wanting to break a bottle on the side of the bar into a shiv and fight off a non-existent rapist, I also love the fkin harmonizing of the fking Everly Brothers. Suck it Beatles!
Okole maluna!
- Lush City
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS
That was awesome! So today's youth are looking at this and they are saying why don't we get quality talent in our own generation. They are all pretty much brain dead. We more mature folks have this as the standard so today's music totally sucks and doesn't measure up.Artful Drunktective wrote: ↑Sat Jul 24, 2021 2:46 amAside from wanting to break a bottle on the side of the bar into a shiv and fight off a non-existent rapist, I also love the fkin harmonizing of the fking Everly Brothers. Suck it Beatles!
Found myself in the Matrix and took the red pill. Now I want the blue pill and my bottle and leave me alone.
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Confession
because priests are probably all asleep now
I couldn't find my way here for a while. It turns out that I was spelling drunkard with a C. I can't remember if it was druncard, or crunkard. But it was wrong. Now I forget what I came here to say. I'm sure it was profound, but we will never know. Confession in good for the soul. Father Flynn said so. I could hear the slosh of his bottle as he assigned the Hail Marys and Our Fathers. It was sad how he died. He was dragging a Christmas tree home from the lot (for the orphans, you know} when he inadvertently breathed on it and it caught fire. They say you could see the light for blocks. The fire fighters arrived, but it was too late. The dear Father was toasted. (As he so often was in life.) The funeral mass was beautiful and touching. Only one old lady threw up--but we think she might have been a bit drunk, as later at the wake she fell face first into an aquarium full of neon tetras. The nibbling woke her up, and all was well.
I couldn't find my way here for a while. It turns out that I was spelling drunkard with a C. I can't remember if it was druncard, or crunkard. But it was wrong. Now I forget what I came here to say. I'm sure it was profound, but we will never know. Confession in good for the soul. Father Flynn said so. I could hear the slosh of his bottle as he assigned the Hail Marys and Our Fathers. It was sad how he died. He was dragging a Christmas tree home from the lot (for the orphans, you know} when he inadvertently breathed on it and it caught fire. They say you could see the light for blocks. The fire fighters arrived, but it was too late. The dear Father was toasted. (As he so often was in life.) The funeral mass was beautiful and touching. Only one old lady threw up--but we think she might have been a bit drunk, as later at the wake she fell face first into an aquarium full of neon tetras. The nibbling woke her up, and all was well.
like tears in rain
- Artful Drunktective
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Re: TRUE CONFESSIONS
I think there's something oddly attractive about young Ray Dorset from Mungo Jerry singing In the Summertime. Yeah I know. Kinda embarrassing.
Okole maluna!