Our neighbors - post your stories here

[Savage]

Last year, we got new next door neighbors. (The previous ones are the ones who ripped off a bunch of Russians who came and yelled at us, like we had anything to do with it, sheesh.) We watched them unload their U-Hauls. (The new neighbors, not the Russians. ) Okay, furniture, etc. But the weird thing was, that one of the vans was full of trash. They off-loaded massive amounts of bald automobile tires, empty paint buckets, chunks of random wood, bundles of wire, random automobile parts, etc. How weird. I mean, who pays good money to move garbage? They parked derelict vehicles on what would have been their front lawn, if they were normal.

Well, last night, Grumpy and I were sitting in our living room, front window open, and we heard what sounded like a cop transmission. We went outside, and saw policemen walking up the driveway of the house next door. Then they came up to us, and asked us if we had smelled anything unusual. Well, that made me scared, because, living in the crap town I live in, I immediately thought that the weird neighbors must have been cooking meth. After all, some kids chopped up and cooked their former friend, just a couple of streets away from my daughter's house.

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate living here?

[Savage]

Second biggest mistake we ever made: Moving here.
First biggest mistake Grumpy ever made: Telling Savage we didn't need to sell the house, back in 2006.

[Savage]

Oh, and today, a workman was removing some of the crap from the house next door, and one of the little thugs who lived there pulled up. I shut and locked all my windows before I left, but it never occurred to me that the little bastard would go into our backyard and steal most of the Roma tomatoes that Grumpy has been nuturing. When he came home from work and realized what had happened, the poor man was reduced to near incoherency. "Son of a Bitch!" was all we could get out of him, for nearly an hour. It's too bad. I was so looking forward to cooking with those tomatoes. The really pathetic thing is, the shitbag who stole the tomatoes pulled them off the plant too soon. He got tomatoes that were not much more ripe than the pieces of shit you get in the grocery store.

[John Barleycorn]

Last year, we got new next door neighbors. (The previous ones are the ones who ripped off a bunch of Russians who came and yelled at us, like we had anything to do with it, sheesh.) We watched them unload their U-Hauls. (The new neighbors, not the Russians. ) Okay, furniture, etc. But the weird thing was, that one of the vans was full of trash. They off-loaded massive amounts of bald automobile tires, empty paint buckets, chunks of random wood, bundles of wire, random automobile parts, etc. How weird. I mean, who pays good money to move garbage? They parked derelict vehicles on what would have been their front lawn, if they were normal.

OMG it's the Bumpesses!

[Chimneyfish]

Typical Jewish neighbors

[peetie44]

Last year, we got new next door neighbors. (The previous ones are the ones who ripped off a bunch of Russians who came and yelled at us, like we had anything to do with it, sheesh.) We watched them unload their U-Hauls. (The new neighbors, not the Russians. ) Okay, furniture, etc. But the weird thing was, that one of the vans was full of trash. They off-loaded massive amounts of bald automobile tires, empty paint buckets, chunks of random wood, bundles of wire, random automobile parts, etc. How weird. I mean, who pays good money to move garbage? They parked derelict vehicles on what would have been their front lawn, if they were normal.

Well, last night, Grumpy and I were sitting in our living room, front window open, and we heard what sounded like a cop transmission. We went outside, and saw policemen walking up the driveway of the house next door. Then they came up to us, and asked us if we had smelled anything unusual. Well, that made me scared, because, living in the crap town I live in, I immediately thought that the weird neighbors must have been cooking meth. After all, some kids chopped up and cooked their former friend, just a couple of streets away from my daughter's house.

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate living here?

This is normal in parts of Texas and Oklahoma.

[Savage]

Typical Jewish neighbors

What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

[Miklo]

Second biggest mistake we ever made: Moving here.

if you dont mind, what city do you live in?

[Jiggers McCoy]

Some people just never got the "act like a human" memo. I remember the last place we lived before leaving Missouri was a townhouse in a nice-ish part of town. Our fun neighbors left and in moved a young woman. Seemed nice, a bit mousy, unaware that they invented makeup, but whatever. We quickly realized that there was something up because the lights were never on and they scavenged sticks and leaves from the ditch out back to burn for heat in the fireplace. Added to which, she would knock on our door all hours of the day and night asking to use our cell phones, then expecting me to run over in case someone called back on it.Eventually we just started ignoring her and any numbers we didn't recognize. Then we moved to the big city and I don't regret it one bit.

[Chimneyfish]

What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

It's sarcasm- there's not exactly a lot of Jewish or Asian families who are meth cooks with old cars sitting in their front yards. The best way to prove that stereotypes are usually true is to flip them and hear how ridiculous they sound. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qyagw0xc_zw

[Bur]

Well I recall not so long ago when there were stabbings in the neighbourhood every otherweek. Weird ones seemed quite reasonable most of the time.

[Wingman]

the old lady next door died last week. we've got our fingers crossed for cool neighbors. not really expecting them, though. you know, statistically.

[Impish Boozehound]

My caretaker moved out last week.
Hot for 50, wicked to knock back a case of beer with in the garden (that she landscaped in),
Never said anything about the other drunks showing up at my place at all hours of the night/day in any known state of intoxication (or at the apartments of any other of the boozing tenants) or the occasionally loud nights.
Generally a great lady with a hilarious husband ten years her junior. (lucky bastard)

Now we have this god damned young couple that can't be older than 19 and look fresh out of junior high that diddnt even know what a boiler room is. To top it off I've already heard gospel music coming from their place, so I bet they're churchy drys.

[Savage]

What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

It's sarcasm- there's not exactly a lot of Jewish or Asian families who are meth cooks with old cars sitting in their front yards. The best way to prove that stereotypes are usually true is to flip them and hear how ridiculous they sound. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qyagw0xc_zw

Oh, well, as a matter of fact, they were Vietnamese. Pigeon English folk. And, get this: Last year, our Halloween display was ripped off to the tune of grand theft. Later, Grumpy got a warning call from the credit card company. Someone with a Vietnamese name was (apparently), trying to steal his identity. Then, our tomatoes were stolen. The house next door is empty, and there is a hangtag from the water department, explaining that their water is being shut off, due to them owing 263.00 dollars. That is several months worth of water, even if you leave the faucet running when you wash dishes or brush your teeth! They were total shitbags. Our other next door neighbor, the forest ranger, was looking forward to his mom and dad moving into that house. I really wish his dad had moved in. A retired police officer, and a heck of a nice guy. That is the kind of neighbor we would have welcomed.

[Savage]

Now, I really wish that I had gone out and looked in the truck of the scrap metal guy, who showed up to pick up a lot of the crap they had in the yard. Maybe I could have found my cool spiderweb Halloween lawn stakes. Also, they had a couple of bonfires in their backyard, prior to moving. Jeesh! We live in a place that is prone to devastating fires!