Things we want to do at Nausea's Liquor Store

[Badfellow]

Install a Japanese vending machine that dispenses worn female panties... worn by homeless male bums.

[TheDrunkardAnglo]

Get one of those dyson air blades and do a liquid poop in front of it. spray that all over the store.

[Badfellow]

Import a dozen cubic yards of sand from Jamaica, set up a kiddie pool full of rum and have a Caribbean beach party. Get Dear Booze to do a motivational speaking set and sell self-help books. Charge $400 cover at the door. Abscond with all the moneys.

[Badfellow]

Use a transverse flux capacitor module to instantaneously transport Nausea to an alternate universe, so that when he shows up for work he already finds his alternate, goateed self in charge of everything as a booze warlord.

[Badfellow]

Pee in the hand sanitizer.

[Artful Drunktective]

so that when he shows up for work he already finds his alternate, goateed self in charge of everything as a booze warlord.

Bizzaro Nausea (like Superman)

[Badfellow]

Nauzzaro?

[Artful Drunktective]

Put in a Jacuzzi.

[Patchez]

put in an Olympic size swimming pool complete with 3, 5 and 10 meter diving platforms filled with Guinness. Have Jamesons shooter dispensers on all diving levels. Do real depthcharges but holding a shot till you hit the pool swallowing a gulp of Guinness upon splashing down. Repeat until the pool is empty.

[Rye and Coke]

wake up

[whiskeyprick]

Repeatedly call and demand some Buffalo Trace.

I got a call from someone in Texas yesterday looking for Blanton's.

Pure desperation.

that guy calls everyday

[Patchez]

Repeatedly call and demand some Buffalo Trace.

I got a call from someone in Texas yesterday looking for Blanton's.

Pure desperation.

that guy calls everyday

It was me. In both cases. I lied about the Texas part.

[oettinger]

Ask for gluten free hooch

Being pissed about them not having any.

Sue em

[Badfellow]

I got a call from someone in Texas yesterday looking for Blanton's.

Pure desperation.

Let's imagine how that telephone conversation went, shall we?

-"Good morning, Crazy Chuck's Discount Liquor Emporium. How may I help you?"

-"Howdy there, pardner. Had me a burr in my saddle of sorts and wuz wonderin' if any y'all dumb, greenhorn sumbitches up there in the 'Rado had any of that dang ol' Blanton's whiskey. Rarer than hens teeth, I tell you what. "

-"Uh, no sir. We don't have that in stock."

-"Well goddamnit, boy! Why the hell I waste my time with all this chin-waggin' jabber when I could be kickin' my dog and throwin' empties at my wife?"

-"That's most unfortunate, sir."

-"You a Mexican, boy? You sound like a Mexican."

CLICK.

[Dear Booze]

I wonder if they accept AA chips as currency.