Things we want to do at Nausea's Liquor Store

[mistah willies]

Stand outside the door acting and dressed like the British Queen's Guard.

I'll stand on the other side as a wooden Indian

[scream ale]

Pay for a case of Beam with pennies. Mostly Canadian. Unrolled.

[RIPT2.0]

Repeatedly call and demand some Buffalo Trace.

I got a call from someone in Texas yesterday looking for Blanton's.

Pure desperation.

It wasn't me.

[Badfellow]

Pay for a case of Beam with pennies. Mostly Canadian. Unrolled.

I was thinking something similar. Drop 4000 pennies on the floor, say "oooops" and promptly leave. But Canadian? That's pretty low, man.

[Dear Booze]

Open a beer to drink while I peruse the entire inventory. If Nausea protests, I'll offer him one too. When finished looking around, I'll inquire about something they don't carry, and then leave in a huff.

[Badfellow]

Stage a BLM protest in front of the malt liquor cooler.

[Artful Drunktective]

Put one of these out front and ride on it while drinking straight from the bottle.

[Artful Drunktective]

Or ride this one next to the wooden Injun:

[Badfellow]

Wait until the boss is in, then walk up to Nausea and accuse him of getting my 14 year old special needs daughter pregnant.

[Artful Drunktective]

^ ^ ^ Also at the same time when the boss walks in and all that is going down, send a Strip-o-Gram.

[Badfellow]

Or ride this one next to the wooden Injun:

Nausea loves to ride old Mustang Sandy whenever he gets a quart of Kentucky Deluxe down the hatch. It appeals to his masculine cowboy side which we don't get to see too often.

^ ^ ^ Also at the same time when the boss walks in and all that is going down, send a Strip-o-Gram.

Why stop at Strip-o-Gram when you can send a gaggle of lot lizards? Sprinkle in a few Vegas crack whores, maybe one of the Spice Girls for good measure.

[Badfellow]

Hire an all-male Spice Girls cover band to greet the incoming customers. Pay "Posh Spice" to kick every tenth customer in the groinal region as they leave.

[Dear Booze]

Ask if he has a mop. When he asks why, start throwing up.

[scream ale]

Grab as many whiskey shooters as I can and run like hell.

[Badfellow]

Place a half dozen of these in hard to find locations.