Things we want to do at Nausea's Liquor Store

[scream ale]

^^^ That's just cruel.

That being said, if I could do some extensive crop dusting in the wine section that would make my day.

[Badfellow]

Can you imagine how many times that store has already been crop dusted? They could open up a museum of bum farts.

[mistah willies]

Place a half dozen of these in hard to find locations.

This is exactly the kind of thing I'd order from the Johnson-Smith Co. back in ze day. So many gags.

Fake vomit/poop, fart spray can, toilet shouter, etc.

Then i became an orphan

[Artful Drunktective]

Remove all the labels on all the bottles in the store and then randomly rearrange them.

[Artful Drunktective]

Put these signs up on the door and windows.

[Badfellow]

Walk in wearing a Batman costume, say "I'm Batman" and leave without buying anything.

I would also contemplate wearing a ninja suit, then throwing smoke bombs at Nausea while I do some cool ninja flips and swipe a bottle of WT101 ninja fuel.

[Badfellow]

Put these signs up on the door and windows.

Make sure Donald J Drunk gets one of those to put on his fanny pack.

[Artful Drunktective]

Put up police "caution" crime scene tape across the door leading to the storage room to make customers feel uncomfortable, including Nausea 'cause he doesn't know why it's there.

[Dear Booze]

Hire a sign painter to show up at 4:00 A.M. to paint the following message on the window:

ENTIRE INVENTORY
90% OFF

Then show up at opening time and demand they honor their offer. If they refuse, cite the "Thruth in Advertising Law of 1972".

[scream ale]

Demand a refund for that bottle with a mouse stuffed in it that was sold to me that way. Oh yes that mouse was in there alright.

[Dear Booze]

Over the course of three or four days, smuggle items into the store and place them on shelves to be sold. These items will include Nazi Porn on VHS, and autographed and framed photo of Maxine Waters, a bottle opener made from kangaroo testicles, pirated CD of "hard to find jams of 1992", "The Kiwanis Club of Greater Columbus Cookbook", a stack of AOL 3.7 start-up disks, a comb that I stole from a rastafarian, and seven bottles of my own homemade 27.5% beer.

[Nausea]

I'm taking home the Nazi Porn VHS. For science.

[Badfellow]

I'm taking home the Nazi Porn VHS. For science.

Good luck, it's Betamax.

[Artful Drunktective]

^ ^ ^ Don't sweat it, Naus. You're friends with enough Germans who can get you the real deal from their own personal collections.

[Artful Drunktective]

Demand a refund for that bottle with a mouse stuffed in it that was sold to me that way. Oh yes that mouse was in there alright.

That empty bottle with the mouse you are returning of course.