Jimmy Lester, The Most Interesting Drunk In The World

[Badfellow]

They named a sandwich after Jimmy Lester. It's called the Shit Sandwich and life is a buffet of 'em; all you can eat. Fuck.

[Badfellow]

Jimmy Lester was the coach of a little league baseball team called the Fuckin' Little Fucks (that wasn't the actual team name, just what he called them) . There were some complaints from the parents after he sold most of the kids to a Chinese sex trafficking ring.

[Rye and Coke]

Jimmy Lester had sex with a woman and literally fucked her brains out when his load shot through her body, leaving an exit wound in her skull the size of a newborn baby's fist. His DNA is currently traveling at speeds close to 17 kilometers per second, has passed Jupiter and is expected to come up on Neptune in the coming months. It will take pictures of the ice giant, sending them back to NASA, before heading into deep space, it's mission complete.



Oh yeah, the funeral for the poor girl will be held next Saturday. Her name was Laquisha. Her mother, Ms. Jenkins, asks that someone bring potato salad.

[Lush City]

Jimmy Lester had sex with a woman and literally fucked her brains out when his load shot through her body, leaving an exit wound in her skull the size of a newborn baby's fist. His DNA is currently traveling at speeds close to 17 kilometers per second, has passed Jupiter and is expected to come up on Neptune in the coming months. It will take pictures of the ice giant, sending them back to NASA, before heading into deep space, it's mission complete.



Oh yeah, the funeral for the poor girl will be held next Saturday. Her name was Laquisha. Her mother, Ms. Jenkins, asks that someone bring potato salad.

I can tell you are a Jimmy Lester protege because your mind is fouled by drugs and porno. Yet you never met him; somehow he has established his own church, so to speak: The Church of the Pissed Off Nasty Drunk. I'm outta here!

[oettinger]

I consider him a friend.

Fuck

[Dear Booze]

Jimmy Lester was the coach of a little league baseball team called the Fuckin' Little Fucks (that wasn't the actual team name, just what he called them) . There were some complaints from the parents after he sold most of the kids to a Chinese sex trafficking ring.

They made movies outta that little league team. "The Fuckin' Little Fucks," "The Fuckin' Little Fucks in Breaking Training," "The Fuckin' Little Fucks go to North Korea," "The Fuckin' Little Fucks go to Hell," and "Debbie does the Fuckin' Little Fucks."

[Badfellow]

Jimmy Lester once had his own local television program called "Go Fuck Yourself In The Morning with Jimmy Lester". The show included a number of segments covering topics such as why shit sucks, wouldn't fuckin' eat that, shut your fuckin' mouth and fuck, look what's going on over there. Ratings were popular amongst dysfunctional slobs in the 28-40 year old demographic.

[Patchez]

Jimmy Lester once strolled with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain.

[Badfellow]

Jimmy Lester was a notorious misogynist and philanderer. During the St. Patrick's Day festivities of 1986, he grudge fucked 8 women in 8 hours, 5 of which were actually women.


The crack in Jimmy Lester's skull is mostly filled with moss.


Jimmy Lester's balls drooped so low he could tuck them into his tube socks.

[Lush City]

Jimmy Lester was recruited by the CIA and fed LSD in his drinks. They convinced him he was a necessary component of the US offensive in Afghanistan and basically do to them what the Marxists are doing to America right now. He was wined dined and serviced by prostitutes compliments of Uncle Sam and forthwith dispatched to Afghanistan via air drop with only his day pack and cellphone. He managed to corrupt two towns that already had easy access to opium by starting porno theaters. He didn't last long. They made sausage out of him or so I heard.