Hooky Log

A place for general talk.

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Nausea
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Hooky Log

Post by Nausea »

Dear Alconauts,

Please log the adventures resulting from you pulling a "hookie" at work in this thread.

As for me...

Today, I came into work. The manager for the day assigned me a task that he could have easily done in the some 3 hours after he clocked in.

Guess what? Oh man, I had the *worst* headache ever. Kidding, of course. But they let me go.

Headed to the mountain-side tavern and had 3 La Cumbre Elevated IPA's. After that, I headed into town and had two slices of pizza with a Sierra Nevada.

That was enough tabs for me. Now I'm at home enjoying some whiskey.

The dude deserved it because he hasn't closed the store in forever yet always manages to complain about something the closing staff didn't do.

Cheers to your perfection, sir. I enjoyed its absence perfectly today. May you divine that your nit-picking is unwarranted.
Don't worry. We're in no hurry.

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Artful Drunktective
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Re: Hooky Log

Post by Artful Drunktective »

Welp I don't have a job, but when I do, I will immediately play hooky and then report back. Does it count if I play hooky from doing my daily chores? Because if that's the case, I play hooky every day.

Back in 'murrica, my bro Linchpin and I, skipped college together (and yeah even though he's years younger, I was still meandering along in college at the same time as he. Now I'm finally connecting the dots as to why it took me so long...). Anyway when we did blow off a day of school, we treasured it as if it was a beloved unexpected snow day from our youth. And I was never a school-skipper in high school so it was special to me.

If it was cold outside, we'd go out and grab a hearty breakfast - preferably one that entails country fried steak - and then afterwards hole up in our favorite dark billiard bar and stay there and drink all day. We'd start out with pitchers of Miller and then graduated to cocktails. We got friends to join a few times even, and once this friend who doesn't really drink ordered some green concoction called a "Scooby Snack" (like a lame Malibu drink) and she was shitfaced after having a few of those. All of us drunkards thought that was so adorable. But we had a blast that day with awesome friends and now have a treasured memory that we wouldn't have all shared, had we not skipped school.

If the weather was nice, we'd grab a cooler of beer and head to one of the nearby lakes and spend the day there. Sometimes we'd bring a portable propane grill and throw some crab-stuffed mushrooms and black n' bleu burgers on the barbie (pre-made from the grocery store of course). Outside day drinking in a beautiful spot when you should be doing something unfun and undrunk is an unbeatable feeling. You appreciate it so much more. And the memories really are treasured. I sure as hell wouldn't have remembered today wtf I would have done in college that day.
Okole maluna!

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Artful Drunktective
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Re: Hooky Log

Post by Artful Drunktective »

My question is...does Dear Booze play hooky from his mayoral duties to go play golf and get wasted?

Or does he play hooky from work to bury Persian-rug-wrapped-hookers out in the California desert?

Or... does he play hooky from burying Persian-rug-wrapped-hookers in the desert to go play golf and get wasted?

I guess if he wanted to kill two birds with one stone...he could play hooky from work to go play golf and get drunk and bring the dead hooker in the golf cart with him, Weekend at Bernie's style.


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Okole maluna!

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Merchant Seaman
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Re: Hooky Log

Post by Merchant Seaman »

I can't really play hookie on my job however I can cut out a bit early, which I've done a few times, once the 1st called my stateroom and asked why I was there, and I told him I was reading a tech manual later I ran into him at dinner and he said "you've been drinking!" and I replied, "of course, how the hell else can someone read a tech manual?!"

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Badfellow
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Re: Hooky Log

Post by Badfellow »

Great subject.

Around the time I joined this drunken rabble, I was working as the accounts manager for a midsized company of 25-30 employees. Since payroll was automatically generated under arrangements with the accounting firm next door, much of my work involved phone calls to other companies who were behind 30 day terms on their invoices. Kind of a dignified "fuck you, where's my money?" type situation.

I'd get into the office by 8:00am, review accounts payable and receivable, make phone calls for a few hours asking the ubiquitous "fuck you, where's my money?" on coffee fueled auto-pilot. Really engaging stuff, and typically by 11:30 or noon my work would effectively be completed for the day.

This went on for a couple years, which is to say long enough to develop several creative strategies for justifying the remainder of the afternoon.

*Start drinking in your office around 2 o' clock. This worked exceedingly well. Honestly, nobody would have given a shit if I started drinking at 8 in the morning so long as the work was getting done. The downside is you have employees stopping into your office thinking it's a bar and depleting your liquor stash.

*The 4 hour lunch. If you're meeting someone to "talk about business stuff", by all means save the receipt and write it off. Better yet, submit it to the accounts manager so you can get reimbursed from the expense account. These business lunches sometimes drone on for the remainder of the afternoon and require the scheduling of subsequent meetings to really hammer out an agreement.

*"Go measure things". Say, I'll be out of the office for the rest of the afternoon. Why, you ask? Oh, I need to go measure some things. We need to double-check the measurements on that one job site next to the Mexican place that has 2 for 1 specials on margaritas. Yep, I'll probably be gone for the rest of the day. Call me (but not really though) if you need anything.
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Dear Booze
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Re: Hooky Log

Post by Dear Booze »

This IS a great topic.

I worked as a bartender/waiter at a place located in a big regional strip mall. One day I worked a long day shift - clock in at 11:00 A.M., clock out right after the dinner rush. There was a bar located right across the parking lot and I would often walk over there for a quick pop and return before anyone knew I was gone.

One day, I was doing this and saw my boss come in. Shit, he's looking for me, and he's about to find me, and I'm about to be fired. Fuck. Is what was going through my mind. But he didn't see me. He just came in and sat down at the bar and ordered a cocktail. Eventually, he spotted me. We made eye contact, nodded at one another, and never spoke of it.
Badfellow wrote:
Fri Mar 25, 2022 9:06 am
...Go measure things". Say, I'll be out of the office for the rest of the afternoon. Why, you ask? Oh, I need to go measure some things. We need to double-check the measurements on that one job site next to the Mexican place that has 2 for 1 specials on margaritas. Yep, I'll probably be gone for the rest of the day. Call me (but not really though) if you need anything.
These days, I leave the office whenever I want. "Measuring stuff" is a common "reason". I even have one of those measuring wheels with a long handle and a clipboard I take with me. Who the fuck is going to question a guy with a measuring wheel and a clipboard?
DRINK!

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Patchez
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Re: Hooky Log

Post by Patchez »

My most recent hooky day was Monday. I went to cut down a Japanese Maple that was dying. Took maybe an hour and a half. So we were done by 930 am. Working second shift as I do I had plenty of time to get cleaned up and ready for work. However we stopped at a local dive that has a killer luch special. Hot beef and fries with gravy. Open faced beef piled on 2 slices of sour dough bread and a side of fries. I once weighed the "small" and it was just shy of 3lbs. So we stop, order a small and 2 beers. Pound those and I get back to my place at around 11 am.

Heavy meal plus beer and I think fuck work. Call in and tell them I had family issues and would need a personal day. Drank another 6er and had a nice long afternoon nap. Woke up around 4 and it was such a nice day I figured I'd take the bike out for a bit of wind therapy.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

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Artful Drunktective
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Re: Hooky Log

Post by Artful Drunktective »

Dear Booze wrote:
Fri Mar 25, 2022 10:19 am
Who the fuck is going to question a guy with a measuring wheel and a clipboard?
Nobody. And agreed, a clipboard is key. I walked around my workplace with a clipboard not only because I actually used it, but also it made me look important.
Okole maluna!

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Badfellow
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Re: Hooky Log

Post by Badfellow »

Dear Booze wrote:
Fri Mar 25, 2022 10:19 am
Who the fuck is going to question a guy with a measuring wheel and a clipboard?
Possibly another guy with a measuring wheel and a clipboard?

Also, you’d be surprised the kind of shit a person can get away with just wearing a plastic hard hat and an orange safety vest. You could steal a phone booth and people wouldn’t look twice at what you were doing. Hypothetically speaking.
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scream ale
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Re: Hooky Log

Post by scream ale »

I should have clocked in but I stayed home. Currently having a nip of scotch before doing some mundane bullshit around the house. Should be peaceful. Cheers.

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Nausea
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Re: Hooky Log

Post by Nausea »

^ Well-played, sir. Hope it was a sweet one.
Don't worry. We're in no hurry.

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Savage
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Re: Hooky Log

Post by Savage »

Badfellow wrote:
Sat Mar 26, 2022 12:11 pm
Dear Booze wrote:
Fri Mar 25, 2022 10:19 am
Who the fuck is going to question a guy with a measuring wheel and a clipboard?
Possibly another guy with a measuring wheel and a clipboard?

Also, you’d be surprised the kind of shit a person can get away with just wearing a plastic hard hat and an orange safety vest. You could steal a phone booth and people wouldn’t look twice at what you were doing. Hypothetically speaking.
I am trying to remember the last time I saw a phone booth.
like tears in rain

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Savage
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Re: Hooky Log

Post by Savage »

You know like, Superman gets the call and he can't find a phone booth, so he just strips down and puts on his costume but the cops arrest him for indecent exposure and wow, bummer.
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scream ale
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Re: Hooky Log

Post by scream ale »

Today was a good day to hang around, drink beer and give the stereo a workout. Which is what I've done all day so far. There are countless days to piss away at a job I hate with people that annoy holy hell out of me but how many days like? Not too hot, not too cold, fridge full of beer.

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oettinger
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Re: Hooky Log

Post by oettinger »

scream ale wrote:
Fri Aug 12, 2022 11:19 am
There are countless days to piss away at a job I hate with people that annoy holy hell out
We would have a blast working togehter
Drink!
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