Dying As a Man

Where we pay homage to our honored dead.

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AntonArkydivich
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Dying As a Man

Post by AntonArkydivich »

My grandfather died today. I'm writing his obituary tomorrow, but I wanted to toss out a quick eulogy amongst folks who would understand, where I can say all the things that defined him and made him great.

If there was any way to describe him fully (and there is not), it would be that he was a man. He was like some great redwood tree or scarred, savage bear. He was Steinbeck and Hemingway and all those oil workers in the bar at night who break their backs and never raise a word of complaint.

He came from farmtown, New York. When he was 14 years old, he was the sole provider and family head for his 7 siblings--of the 3 that eventually survived into adulthood, he was the figurehead. After serving in West Germany, he ended up in Alaska, working on the pipeline. Every house he ever lived in, he built. Everything he started, he finished. He was married for over 53 years when he died, and although many of those years were marked by a mutual disdain between him and my grandmother, he was loyal as a dog.

He missed the birth of my mother because he was tending bar--it wasn't because he wanted to, but because there was no one else to cover for him that night. It was his job, and to him, a man kept his word. He once called me a pussy because while we were sharing a lip of chewing tobacco, I made fun of his selection of some cheap off brand. He looked at me and said, "I'm not the one using a spitter, ya pussy." He laughed and smiled at me when I realized with horror that he wasn't. It was a skewed, old-school form of masculinity, but it was his creed, and it stood with its roots pushed deep down through soil and blood.

He drank endlessly, and while it was indeed to a point that was problematic, he never missed a day of work, never once laid hands on his wife or children, and gave them a life exponentially better than the one that he was given. While in the hospital a couple years back, the doctor actually wrote him a prescription for 6 Budweiser's a day, served warm. It was easier on his body than pain medication, and kept him from bitching at the nurses. I still have the prescription stashed away somewhere.

He loved his family, and showed it in his own way. The day I got married, he kissed me and my mother in the only time I can remember either of those things happening. His death doesn't so much make me sad, as it does mortal; imagine looking at a mountain range, and then waking up to find somebody leveled the skyline. He almost certainly had cancer when he died, and was in constant pain, but refused treatment; he didn't want to spend the money set aside for my grandmother. He told my father that he wouldn't commit suicide because it would negate his life insurance policy (my dad didn't have the heart to tell him that the clause that would negate it only applies for the first three years).

So, this is for my grandfather, one of the last of a breed. I hope that I meet death with the same strength that he did.
Making my own city lights out of bourbon and the stars of a barroom fight.
- Josh Ritter

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Re: Dying As a Man

Post by Palinka (RIP) »

My dear AntonArkydivich, I am so sorry to hear of your Grandfather's passing. If the written eulogy that you give tomorrow is half as good as the one that you gave here (and I am certain that it will actually be better) then the man will have a fine send off.
I wish you and yours well and if there is anything that I can do, besides offer my heartfelt sympathy, please feel free to PM me and I will do whatsoever I can.
In the meantime, I hope that you are able to see him off in a style that he would have appreciated, and know that he will rest easier knowing that he has trained a young fellow, in the form of your good self, to take up that seat at the bar and to walk the righteous path of the Modern Drunkard.
This one is for your Grandfather, long may his goodness be remembered and quickly may his slips be forgot.
Cheers,
P.
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Re: Dying As a Man

Post by mistah willies »

Best wishes to you, Anton, for your strength and good observance of a man who brought your father his life, and then to you.

A drink raised for that, here. Do it up well, young man.

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AntonArkydivich
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Re: Dying As a Man

Post by AntonArkydivich »

I am much obliged to you two gentlemen. Thank you for the kind words.
Making my own city lights out of bourbon and the stars of a barroom fight.
- Josh Ritter

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Re: Dying As a Man

Post by Patchez »

Sorry for your loss. I think I would have liked to hoist a few with your Grandfather. Odds are he would have called me a pussy for something. By his standards he would have most likely been correct though, They don't make tough old school fuckers like that anymore.

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Re: Dying As a Man

Post by drunkenmaster »

Sorry for your loss.

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Re: Dying As a Man

Post by zimne_piwo »

Here's to him. Sounds like he was one hell of a man.

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Re: Dying As a Man

Post by jacobrosoto »

drunkenmaster wrote:Sorry for your loss.
For me it is not worthy it for being sorry, indeed he should apreciate with kind experience

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Re: Dying As a Man

Post by mistah willies »

jacobrosoto wrote:
drunkenmaster wrote:Sorry for your loss.
Dear Sir, I offer my condolences for your loss. It's a horrible thing to have to do, to participate in the remembrance and sorrow for such a thing as the death of our forebears. Verily, I say unto thee, that mourning is reserved for those of us whom remain behind.

For me; sorrow is, truly, reserved for the living.

To those whom have passed before, we should consider that they will prefer us to raise a glass in their honor, and tell good stories about them.

...Or bad ones. Yes, especially the bad stories. Those are the best to hear.

The dead have gone, but we hold them in our hearts, in our memories, and our stories about them.


We honor those who have gone before us with our tears, our heart ache, and our laughter, and our chalices raised high. That is what we do. We carrion. We drink in honor of them.


Well, there ya go.


You should continue to post, and more often. I'll keep an eye out for ya.



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Re: Dying As a Man

Post by bennyowen857 »

Losing someone is not the end of the world but his memories would still remain especially when he did good while he was still alive. And that would make his siblings to be proud of.

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Re: Dying As a Man

Post by mistah willies »

bennyowen857 wrote:Losing someone is not the end of the world but his memories would still remain especially when he did good while he was still alive. And that would make his siblings to be proud of.

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