2011 MLB Season

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Chimneyfish
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Re: 2011 MLB Season

Post by Chimneyfish »

Only one guy in baseball would show up to a game wearing the new McFly's that he won a $10,000 bid for.

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coqui_chris
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Re: 2011 MLB Season

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"To avoid criticism: Do nothing, Say nothing, Be nothing" - Fred Shero

"You hear players, media people say it's tough to play in Philly in front of these fans. To those people, I say, you didn't have the guts to succeed here." - John Kruk

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Re: 2011 MLB Season

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"To avoid criticism: Do nothing, Say nothing, Be nothing" - Fred Shero

"You hear players, media people say it's tough to play in Philly in front of these fans. To those people, I say, you didn't have the guts to succeed here." - John Kruk

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Re: 2011 MLB Season

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Go Tigers!
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Re: 2011 MLB Season

Post by TheBigCasino »

I have lived my entire life hating the Boston Red Sox. I take extreme pleasure in whenever things don't go their way, with that said, even I think Francona shoulda got more support from the management and should have stayed on. The inmates are running the asylum over there.
BMMS is wrong.

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Re: 2011 MLB Season

Post by fiyah »

TheBigCasino wrote:I have lived my entire life hating the Boston Red Sox. I take extreme pleasure in whenever things don't go their way, with that said, even I think Francona shoulda got more support from the management and should have stayed on. The inmates are running the asylum over there.

I can understand him when he said he's sick of that town.

Trying to get him to come to Colorado. He won't answer the phone even when I say I'm Manny..
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Surreal
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Re: 2011 MLB Season

Post by Surreal »

Boston folding in the stretch reminded me of a great literary piece on their ex-catcher.

A fictitious day in the life of Doug Mirabelli.


Dougie’s Goin’ Deep Tonight!
by RICH on APRIL 27, 2009


9:00 Shakes off the cobwebs and gets out of bed
9:01 lets out blistering fart and takes 90 second piss on his hands – farts 5 more times
9:03 drinks 3 raw eggs Rocky Balboa style and opens the fridge
9:05 take out leftovers from the Kowloon poo-poo platter for 3 he picked up last night
9:15 grunts at his wife and gives hid kids 20 bucks each to leave him alone
9:17 takes a dump
9:22 sings Van Halen in the shower
9:25 shaves and leaves his goatee
9:30 takes 35 vicious cuts with his bat naked in front of the mirror – screams out loud “Dougie is going deep tonight”
9:45 puts on his cowboy boots and tight jeans and tanktop and gets ready to leave
9:50 grunts at his wife and kids and tells them he’ll see them tomorrow
9:57 pulls onto Rt 1 with Led Zeppelin blaring- cuts three people off- gives the finger to all three people
10:15 pulls into Fenway park – tells clubhouse parking attendant to make sure he blocks Nomar in
10:16 puts the kid in a headlock and threatens the kid and his family’s life if there is one scratch on his truck
10:22 walks into clubhouse and calls Nomar a homo for the the first time time today and 350th time this month – asks Nomar if he misses his boyfriend Lou Merloni
10:27 takes a shit – leaves door open and yells at anyone who walks by
10:30 gives Nomar a deadleg and calls him a homo
10:33 stuffs Derek Lowe in a locker and pisses on him
10:37 goes through a 10-minute handshake with his boy Tim Wakefield
10:45 takes Pokey’s headphones off and steps on them- says until he is hitting .250, no music
10:50 Francona walks by and Dougie cuts him off and says “Is Dougie DHing the first game?”
10:51 Francona runs and hides behind Schilling
10:55 tells Trot that if Dougie played 162 games, his numbers would look like this: .375 72 Hr’s 52 Doubles 9 Singles 6 Walks 220 K’S
11:17 writes back response to to fan’s letter: “Hey Pussy, I don’t wear batting gloves because they are for pussies, like your boyfriend Nomar ”
11:30 walks out to batting pratice with a tanktop on
11:45 after no stretching, steps into the cage- ignores the 5 bunts standard procedure
11:47 takes 25 cuts – hits 17 over the monster and misses the other 8
11:48 calls the batting practice pitcher a homo and tells him to go bang Nomar for mixing in a curveball after Dougie hit one onto the pike
11:55 Tackles Nomar and gives him wedgie – calls him a pickle smoker
12:00 Dougie’s daily order of Double Chicken Parm from Joe Tecci’s arrives
12:07 Dougie finishes Chicken Parm and pours the rest of his sauce into Nomar’s locker
12:15 Tito posts lineup – Dougie sees he is not the DH – calls Francona a pussy. Francona runs behind Schilling
12:25 Dougie gets naked and takes 25 swings in front of the clubhouse mirror- announcing “Dougie is going deep tonight”
12:45 takes a shit – uses Nomar’s $350 silk shirt to wipe his ass
1:05 game starts – Dougie tells Francona he is not going to the bullpen to warm up pitchers. Francona hides behind Schilling
1:25 Dougie annouces he is ready to pinch hit in the bottom of the first for Nomar
1:45 Abe Alvarez comes in – Dougie tells him he sucks and will back at Trenton by 7 tonight
1:55 Dougie’s 4 Fenway Franks arrive – pays with Nomar’s credit card
2:15 finishes shopping with Nomars credit card- maxed it out at Auto Zone
2:30 dozes off
3:30 sees they are losing and goes back to the dugout and tells the whole team they suck except for him and Wakefield
3:33 announces himself ready to pinch hit
4:30 Sox lose game – Dougie tells Francona he should have DH’ed him – Francona runs away
5:00 Dougie tells Nomar singles are for pussies
5:30 Dougie takes BP again- refuses to bunt
5:33 Dougie hits 22 pitches over the wall: 11 fair – 11 foul – all pulled – he misses 15 pitches
6:00 Dougie sees name in lineup – calls Francona a pussy for batting him 9th – Francona hides behind Schilling
6:05 Dougie demands to bat cleanup
6:25 announces that “Dougie is going deep tonight”
6:30 dinner arrives – 2 steaks from the Capital Grille – Dougie pours steak juice into Nomar’s locker – makes Derek Lowe eat the fat
6:35 Dougie gives D Lowe an atomic weedgie
7:00 tells Wakefield to show some balls tonight and don’t throw anything in the dirt
7:10 scoreless first – Dougie tells Francona it must be the catching
7:25 while waiting in on-deck circle, tells fans “Dougie is going deep tonight”
7:27 Dougie screams at pitcher- tells him he is a pussy and he is taking him deep
7:30 Dougie hits bomb off the wall – coasts into second – almost gets thrown out
7:31 tells pitcher his fastball sucks – tells shortstop and second baseman that he “didn’t get all of it”
8:15 Dougie ropes a rocket to third – third baseman takes all day and still turns a double play on Dougie
8:16 fans boo Dougie
8:17 Dougie tells family of 4 to fuck off and steals some kid’s hot dog
8:18 Dougie is tired and is happy he it into a doubleplay – he did not want to run the bases anymore
9:10 Dougie strikes out on an inside pitch after crushing 4 foul home runs- calls pitcher, catcher and ump pussies
9:30 9th inning – Dougie is exhausted – walks out to the mound and calls Embree a pussy and tells him to just bring the heat – Dougie wants to get home
9:50 Dougie showers – and walks around the clubhouse naked – tells the Globe’s Dan Shaugnessy and Gordon Edes to blow him
9:55 Dougie shaves – and leaves a goatee
10:00 Knocks Nomar off his exercise bike – calls him a homo singles hitter and leaves clubhouse
10:10 cuts off 4 redsox fans – gives the finger to everyone near
10:25 arrives at Kowloon Chinese Restaurant on Rt 1
10:45 sits down at bar and digs into his poo-poo platter for 3
12:00 stumbles home and parks truck on the front lawn – goes for a dip in his above-ground pool
12:10 leaves dirty undies on his neighbor’s windshield
12:15 walks into house naked and screams “who saw the bomb I hit tonite???”
12:30 wakes up whole neighborhood
12:45 takes 35 swings naked and orders porn
12:55 pulls out bucket of KFC and gets ready for movie
1:15 Dougie passes out on couch
fuck em man, it ain't easy walkin the righteous path.
- Hoss

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coqui_chris
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Re: 2011 MLB Season

Post by coqui_chris »

Hey, I'm not spoiled. Remember, I was 700 Level at the Vet from the late 1990's until its implosion. At least they are in the playoffs to lose in the first-place.

Let's Go Eag---- err, Let's Go Flyers!
"To avoid criticism: Do nothing, Say nothing, Be nothing" - Fred Shero

"You hear players, media people say it's tough to play in Philly in front of these fans. To those people, I say, you didn't have the guts to succeed here." - John Kruk

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Chimneyfish
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Re: 2011 MLB Season

Post by Chimneyfish »

Lots of preemptive parade plans falling apart in Philadelphia. Maybe they should wait until after they win the championship

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coqui_chris
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Re: 2011 MLB Season

Post by coqui_chris »

Chimneyfish wrote:Lots of preemptive parade plans falling apart in Philadelphia. Maybe they should wait until after they win the championship
Hey now, this is Philadelphia. We fans were panicking in the 2nd week of September. "Can we really win again with an offense sputtering like this?"

No. No we could not.
"To avoid criticism: Do nothing, Say nothing, Be nothing" - Fred Shero

"You hear players, media people say it's tough to play in Philly in front of these fans. To those people, I say, you didn't have the guts to succeed here." - John Kruk

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coqui_chris
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Re: 2011 MLB Season

Post by coqui_chris »

Shit, this success was going to everybody's head. Did you know that people around here are actually trying to convince each other to stop littering???

http://www.philadelphiastreets.com/unli ... intro.aspx
"To avoid criticism: Do nothing, Say nothing, Be nothing" - Fred Shero

"You hear players, media people say it's tough to play in Philly in front of these fans. To those people, I say, you didn't have the guts to succeed here." - John Kruk

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Re: 2011 MLB Season

Post by TheBigCasino »

YANKEE FANS GET SHIT DONE.

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met fans woulda drove his ass to the airport.
BMMS is wrong.

LoJ 917

WWDJFD?

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Chimneyfish
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Re: 2011 MLB Season

Post by Chimneyfish »

Joe Torre sure seems busy trying to ban tobacco and beer from baseball instead of figuring out a way to implement the replay rules that everybody wants.

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Re: 2011 MLB Season

Post by Chimneyfish »

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Re: 2011 MLB Season

Post by fiyah »

/bump
22:21 Thirsty i was too drunk to be high
[13:22] <@Veen> I need to find the penis monster
[23:03] <@fabric> dont masturbate to me

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