Drinking & eating collaboration with Badfellow & *****

[*****]

Badfellow and I will be collaborating for the next month in the effort to bring you the tastiest drunkenness possible. We'll start off with the old warhorse, wine & cheese.

The melding of rotten fat and rotten vegetables has been a time honored tradition: chicharrones and beer, baloots and lambanog, fried chicken and malt liquor, wine and cheese.

In this vein, we have each composed an after dinner medley. Whereas wine, cheese, and nuts have found a place at aristocratic european banquet tables for centuries, the ascendency of the craft beer distribution in the past 20 years has allowed us as a drunkard culture to branch out. Enter, cheese and beer.


Aged Gouda with English Barleyine. Old Amsterdam and Van Gogh are two widely available Goudas. Mona Lisa is a 5 year Gouda that causes gastronomic orgasms, but is more limited in distribution. I suggest an English barleywine as these are usually less hoppy than their American cousins and thus less likely to overwhelm the cheese. Can't go wrong with a Thomas Hardy that's at least several years old.

Almonds, Bleu Cheese, raspberry or cherry Lambic. A Roquefort, Maytag, or standard Danish bleu should do sit well with both the pocketbook and the tastebuds. Dry roasted almonds (no salt), and a Lindemans Framboise or Cherish Raspberry should bring this dessert tray in at under $20 for 4 servings. If you have access to a local Belgian-style fruit beer, by all means give it a whirl. Just chill for 2 hours prior to dessert and pour directly before serving to ensure a good, bubbly head with lots of aroma.

Don't think that DOTW is going fruity (it did a few months ago, we're all just "being supportive"). These beers are 6-11% alcohol and will eff your ess up wit a quickness. Especially after you've been drinking since before you started making dinner.

So get busy shopping for cheese and spirits! Galloping Gormet, away!

[DeafDrinker]

What? No PBR and Cheese Puffs?

[Badfellow]

What? No PBR and Cheese Puffs?

Allow the DOTW(M) to unfold. It may yet take you into directions beyond the last lattitude.

[mjm]

Roaring Forties Blue, if you can get it. By far the best blue I've ever had.

[Bluto]

I hate to be a party pooper but the Lindemans Framboise has a very low ABV. It's also not cheap. Four bottles would well eclipse your $20 price limit. At least anywhere I've ever seen it sold.

[*****]

I hate to be a party pooper but the Lindemans Framboise has a very low ABV. It's also not cheap. Four bottles would well eclipse your $20 price limit. At least anywhere I've ever seen it sold.

1 25oz bottle is ~$9.50, 12 oz bottles are $5.00, and it is only about 4% ABV. It's supposed to be a small glass for all, as I don't know anyone who likes that much sweet beer. So you've got a good point.

The drunkness will be more quickly achieved with the Barleywine, but the Lambic will lead to overproof spirits on their own or with a smoke. I recommend a cask-strength single malt (Macallan being a personal favorite), but that'll run you $50+. Barleywine will lead to more Barleywine. Prohibition Brewery makes a kickass Barleywine ale, The Godfather, and Lagunitas has a decent one that I sampled at a recent beer festival. Stone makes one as well, but I can't tear myself away from their masterful IPAs.

[Badfellow]

Roaring Forties Blue, if you can get it. By far the best blue I've ever had.

Fine Aussie cheese. If you can get Roaring Forties, you can also get Treasure Cave. Pungent, buttery stuff with huge, pillowy vains of beautiful mold. Other honorable mentions go to Point Reyes, Black River Gorgonzola and St. Pete's.

[Bluto]

I hate to be a party pooper but the Lindemans Framboise has a very low ABV. It's also not cheap. Four bottles would well eclipse your $20 price limit. At least anywhere I've ever seen it sold.

1 25oz bottle is ~$9.50, 12 oz bottles are $5.00, and it is only about 4% ABV. It's supposed to be a small glass for all, as I don't know anyone who likes that much sweet beer. So you've got a good point.

The drunkness will be more quickly achieved with the Barleywine, but the Lambic will lead to overproof spirits on their own or with a smoke. I recommend a cask-strength single malt (Macallan being a personal favorite), but that'll run you $50+. Barleywine will lead to more Barleywine. Prohibition Brewery makes a kickass Barleywine ale, The Godfather, and Lagunitas has a decent one that I sampled at a recent beer festival. Stone makes one as well, but I can't tear myself away from their masterful IPAs.

Twelve ouncers sell for around $7 here on the plains and are only 2.5 ABV. The Missus loves the stuff, but at the prices we pay they're few and far between.

[*****]

I hate to be a party pooper but the Lindemans Framboise has a very low ABV. It's also not cheap. Four bottles would well eclipse your $20 price limit. At least anywhere I've ever seen it sold.

1 25oz bottle is ~$9.50, 12 oz bottles are $5.00, and it is only about 4% ABV. It's supposed to be a small glass for all, as I don't know anyone who likes that much sweet beer. So you've got a good point.

The drunkness will be more quickly achieved with the Barleywine, but the Lambic will lead to overproof spirits on their own or with a smoke. I recommend a cask-strength single malt (Macallan being a personal favorite), but that'll run you $50+. Barleywine will lead to more Barleywine. Prohibition Brewery makes a kickass Barleywine ale, The Godfather, and Lagunitas has a decent one that I sampled at a recent beer festival. Stone makes one as well, but I can't tear myself away from their masterful IPAs.

Twelve ouncers sell for around $7 here on the plains and are only 2.5 ABV. The Missus loves the stuff, but at the prices we pay they're few and far between.

Time to put your order in for Badfellow's Olde Tyme Strawberry Vodka.

[Bluto]

Time to put your order in for Badfellow's Olde Tyme Strawberry Vodka.

I like the sound of that.

[*****]

In our efforts to bring you the finest in modern drunkardry, Badfellow and I have continued our collaboration. This was supposed to wait until next week after a wine installation, but dammit, I wants me some Rum! So without further ado, I bring you another Badfellow special.

Pirate's Progress

You'd like to think that being a pirate was all sunny rum swilling while throwing stolen Spanish dabloons down the cleavage of a cheap, French hooker. Yes, it was that, and it was debauchery on a grand scale. But this doesn't negate the fact that the food sucked (you'd be picking pork scraps out of a barrel, pork so salty it made your butthole pucker from dehydration, and that was on a good day), while the rum was typically vile and fiery enough to deserve the name kill-devil.

We've made some progress since then on both fronts.

Get your inner yo-ho-ho on with this modern day adaptation of the pirate diet combo.

1 Tall Dram of Dark Rum

4 Pieces of Thick Cut Bacon

[*****]

Jeebus, pirates, rum & bacon get zero interest? Fine. White wine spritzers and Nachos Flanders-style are next.

Or maybe something from the Playdude guide to style, circa 1972

[grippingthewheel]

I have boarded this ship and I'll tell you, they're a salty bunch.

And Pusser's Rum will put a hurtin' on a man. Only bacon can save the day.

[*****]

Time to get all high-falutin' on ya.

With our previous ventures into slap and tickle after dinner and a fist full of pirate love, we'll turn our sights to the foreplay aspect of food and drink, the appetizer. In the immortal words of Eric Cartman "you eat them to make you more hungry". Sage advice when we turn our gaze to things that make you go mmmm.

Crostini + White Wine
Fancy way of saying toast points for Italians. Slice up a loaf of Italian or French bread and put a little oilve oil on each one. If you're feeling real fancy, cut some cloves of garlic in half and rub the bread with it. Get some Kalamata olive paste or tapanade (chunky olive spread), spread a bit on each piece, and lay a slice of mozzarella, Swiss, or other light cheese over that. Top with half a cherry tomato. Put this in the toaster or broiler until the bread firms up and the cheese melts a bit. Feel free to omit ingredients if you can't find them or it is 3 am and you're drunk + hungry. Trust me, neighbors don't like their door pounded for "A camel lot of olives" at 3 am.
Pair this up with a cheap Orvieto, Soave, or Verdicchio.

Tomato Garlic Bread + Wine
Loaf of sourdough, sliced lengthwise (BEFORE you've been drinking) and generously slathered with minced garlic, butter, and tomato paste. Do yourself a favor and buy some nice tomato paste in a tube for this one. A little anchovy never hurt anyone. Bake until the topping starts to brown and bubble. It'll be hot, so you'll need plenty of Valpolicela, Montelpucciano, Barbera, or Montelcino to wash it down with. If you can find a Lacryma Christi or a good Primitivo, by all means throw in another loaf. This bread makes a great side to clams in white wine brodo--good for dippin'.

Ceviche + Tequila and Sangrita
Ceviche is like chili; everyone has their own recipe and claims its the best. Fine. Chop your fish and shrimp, use you lemons and limes, add your peppers and herbs. Now take your mid-range Tequila with Sangrita as a palate cleanser.

Sangrita
6 medium tomatoes, peeled and seeded
3 oranges, juice of
2 limes, juice of
1 small white onion, chopped
1 teaspoon sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper

Blend them all together until smooth, serve chilled or cool.

The beauty of Tequlia and Sangrita is that you'll quickly eliminate the cumbersome food from the equasion. Efficiency loves company, so be ready to face the realization that you may wake up with someone you'll need to introduce yourself to the next morning.

Rumake + Rum
While this is traditionally served with Sake, get some sweet maple/applewood bacon and tuck a little line brown sugar, cayenne, and cinnimon between the scallop and the bacon. Bake or fry, and serve with dark rum. An auspicious start to a hearty fall meal, this can also be served at parties as a finger food. Bacon, booze, sugar, and fat--what isn't there to like? If you want to lighten it up a bit, serve Dark and Stormys

1 part dark Rum
2 parts ginger beer or ginger ale

serve over ice

[*****]

So Badfellow and I have been slaving away in the kitchen to bring you the final installment of food and drink. For our piece de resistance, Badfellow brings you Fondue a la Food Coma:

Cheese Fondue v. 35.0
(serves 2-3 depending on appetite)

0.5 lbs. Emmentaler Cheese (raw milk, if you can find it)
0.5 lbs. Gruyere Cheese

1 cup (at least) 2% or Whole Milk
4 cloves Garlic
2 tbsp. Corn Starch
Salt
Pepper
1-2 dashes Hot Sauce, Lemon Juice or Vinegar

Preparation: Finely grate cheese and toss in a bowl with corn starch. Next, slice garlic and "sweat it" in a pan for a few minutes over medium heat, then adding a portion of milk and bringing it to a simmer. Slowly stir in grated cheese a bit at a time until mixture thickens to the desired consistancy, adding more milk if necessary. Finish with salt and pepper to taste, and a bit of your prefered source of acidity.

Serve in a pre-heated fondue pot. Crusty bread, raw vegetables and cooked, cubed sirloin are all fine options for dipping, but don't be affraid to get creative. Spicy mustard and hot sauce are good condiment choices, as is crushed red pepper flake.

This recipe goes quite well with an easy drinking ale or lager, but it will also stand nicely next to a good whiskey or a lovingly crafted martini, whatever most comforts you in the experience.

and Straight Outta Compton, DDB serves up some home cookin'

Fried Chicken with Mashed Potatos and Sweet Wine

1 whole chicken, dismembered (mmmm, dismembered)
2 lbs potatos
1 clove garlic
1 sprig parsley

Lightly peel the potatos, quarter them, and boil them up. While they are cooking...drink and mince the garlic and parsley. And do the chicken up.

Dredge the chicken pieces in a mixture of flour, Chinese five spice, cayenne pepper, and salt. Fry'em up in a thick iron skillet, turning frequently. Put the finished pieces on a platter covered with paper towels. Save the drippings.

Potatos should be done now, so drain them and mash them in the same pot over low heat with the garlic, parsley, and drippings. Alternately, make a gravy from the drippings, garlic, and buttermilk. Sprinkle the parsley over the potatos after they've been gravied. Fried okra done up in the same pan as the chicken would be a nice touch if you can get some fresh. Otherwise, just take a multivitamin if you're feeling the scurvy. Better yet, have a mid-cooking Gimlet.

A couple of bottles of ice cold Boone's Farm, Wild Vines, or Lambrusco wash this artery clogger down nicely. Feel free to add freezer shots of vodka for desert, or another round of Gimlets with fresh squeezed lime juice.