Random food stuffs

[Thompson]

I do want to pass on this tip for when you are about dead, and have no friends, and are drunk and stumbling— Wolf Brand Chili with beans is a good can to open.

Beings how I'm not a chili connoisseur - especially of the canned sort- I trust you on this, but what makes Wolf Brand THE brand to get? I noticed they have hot and spicy flavors which sounds nice. But I gotta have some Saltine crackers for the texture.

Yes, I’m in favor of the oyster crackers but they cost quite a bit more. Wolf Brand chili is chalked full of calories, which a booze head is lacking in, food calories. But yeah, the most you can eat is half a can which makes it a good bargain. I go for the Angus Beef Chili with beans. Plus, you have to admit Wolf Brand sounds cool. Better than Bush’s or Hormel.

[Thompson]

Now I am going to revisit Sweet Sue chicken and dumplings since I just bought a can. A big ol’ can. Maybe not today since I just ate a hard boiled egg and a cold potato. I was looking for a cold piece of fried chicken, but I didn’t find it.

[Thompson]

IThere is this smell, this odor, coming from the couch or my body and it is ripe. I think I’ve located it to my left underarm. Yep, I just sniffed it and that is the culprit. The right armpit is odor free, I just sniffed that one.

I think Landlord has gone insane. He’s been teetering on it but I do believe he has crossed over. I asked him Why in the world did you put your garbage can in middle of the street? Tomorrow is garbage pickup, he said. Well, yes, I said, but how can cars go down the street? I don’t want cars to go down the street, he said to me, until my garbage can is picked up. What about your dog, I asked him? What about him, he replied? Well, what’s with all his whining and barking and crying and noise making? You are supposed to be training him, I thought .

[Thompson]

Listen, Thompson, he says, Don’t get smart with me, I will have your drunk ass tossed onto the street, and all of your worthless shit tossed out after you. Oh yeah?, I said, How long you figure that’s going to take?

[Badfellow]

Sensors detect no random food stuffs in this sector. Allow me to fix that for you…

Listen, Thompson, he says, Whopper, Whopper, Whopper, Whopper. Oh yeah?, I said, two all beef patties, special sauce on a sesame seed bun.

[Thompson]

Sensors detect no random food stuffs in this sector. Allow me to fix that for you…

Listen, Thompson, he says, Whopper, Whopper, Whopper, Whopper. Oh yeah?, I said, two all beef patties, special sauce on a sesame seed bun.

The thing is Badguy, it will take three days at least to eat it. Whoppers do have pickles on them right? Don’t care about the bun so much, sesame seed or no sesame seed. My on and off hooker girl friend likes those Impossible burgers. She’s a vegetarian. I’m not sure what that means but she eats that sort of shit. She always has tofu in the fridge, and not once, in fifteen years, has she made a tofu dish. The expiration goes way past due and she buys a new tofu . Then we repeat. I would like to know what tofu tastes like, it seems harmless enough.

[Thompson]

The fireworks are killing me too. All this noise. Pop Pop Pop. How can a man digest any random food stuffs with all this backfire going on?

[Badfellow]

Tofu is mostly tasteless. Or more accurately completely tasteless. It has texture and protein. But in order to make it taste like something you have to season the living christ out of it, batter it and deep fry it in lard until crispy, golden brown. Might as well eat fried chicken.

No, sir, you ain’t missing diddly. Let it molder in yonder fridge.

[oettinger]

Yup tofu sucks ass. I had a vegan girlfriend once. Not even eggs were allowed. That smoky bellpaper (no misspell) tofu she said would win me over....
Yuck, I`ll stick to my empty pizza boxes with left over cheese instead

[Artful Drunktective]

Hey gang. So me n' oett are meandering over to the U.S. soon. One of our many uninspiring goals is to eat some must-try foods that we can't find here in Germany and we'd welcome suggestions- if they are doable of course.

Patchez I have dreamed of having a legit Philly Cheese Steak
Scream Ale, I would LOVE to try a dipped Beef on Weck
Lush City , def some street tacos from a truck
Badfellow and his poutine from Canadia
Dear Booze...avocado toast?

Let's see what we can find these in the Midwest. But we must consider the regional aspects of availability.

But some general examples include chicken fried steak, pork tenderloin sandwich, Nashville Hot Chicken, etc. Do I need to try a legit Monte Cristo? Chicken and waffles?

I asked oett what he wanted to try the most and he said a lobster tail. So we shall find him a lobster tail while we are there. And a really good steak like prime rib. I myself will seek out some oysters of any kind. What else must we find?

[Badfellow]

If you guys are going to KC, then the German needs to try BBQ beef brisket with the burnt ends. I’d also recommend cowboy or ranch beans, pickled jalapeños, carne asada and pork guajillo tacos, ceviche and deep fried breaded pickles with ranch dip.

[Patchez]

If you guys are going to KC, then the German needs to try BBQ beef brisket with the burnt ends. I’d also recommend cowboy or ranch beans, pickled jalapeños, carne asada and pork guajillo tacos, ceviche and deep fried breaded pickles with ranch dip.

While KC is one of the BBQ capitals if you want truly excellent brisket it can only be found in Texas. It's like a religion down there. Even the little roadside smokhouses do brisket better than 90% of the "pros" in the rest of the country. You can find some really great one but you really have to hunt for them. If you've never had brisket in Texas then most of them will be great. Once you'v3e had it in Texas you're kinda ruined for the rest of the world.

The same can be said about all the styles of Que. Carolinas can't be beat for the Carolina style pork with the wet sauce or the mustard style sauce. Memphis has the best ribs on the planet. I'll let you each decide if they're dry or wet for yourself. I'm getting wet. KC is the king of the Sauces. So many great ones to try. I could spend a month hitting all the joints in KC and still not have a clear favorite.

[Badfellow]

Well, Patchy. They ain’t goin to Texas. The German might think it’s a 45 minute drive from KC, but they’ll have to make do with Missouri briskets and pork shoulder. I’d agree that KC has the sauce scene going on, quite possibly the most diverse range of BBQ sauces in a single place.

[Rev. Dead Corpse]

Tempted to order the brisket from Rudy's BBQ in Texas. Currently residing in the "not yet, but soon to be frozen North" and am Jones'ing for some Texas BBQ.

Almost $300 shipped over night though... Still... could be worth it to me.

[Nausea]

Almost $300 shipped over night