I realized that my rye-fueled weekend had left me with a desire for... vodka? There were practical implications, I needed something for bloodies mary and heck, since I had a bottle of wine, I might as well see what these 'brutal hammers' are all about.
I see a bottle of something called Bak's Bison Grass Vodka: Zubrówka. It's been artificially coloured so that it appears to have a slightly greenish hue and the FDA has warned us all that it contains both natural and artificial flavours. It's a potato vodka, which is a good sign. There is a blade of bison grass in the bottle and a little pamphlet attached to the neck. Somerset Maugham is quoted in said pamphlet as follows:
"...it smells of freshly mown hay and spring flowers, of thyme and lavender, and it's so soft on the palate and so comfortable, it's like listening to music by moonlight."
Well anyone who has read 'The Razor's Edge' or 'The Moon and Six Pence' knows what a way he had with words. However, he was describing the original zubrówka vodka upon which this beverage claims to be based. Well, this is ersatz bison grass vodka, and I sometimes fancy myself an ersatz Maugham so this should be a perfect combination.
I buy it and bring the bottle home. Then i get working on my sauce and put a little wine in me. Then I sat down to write this review with a tall glass of the stuff by my side. By this point in the review I have had to refill that glass. Also, I should probably stir my sauce soon.
Straight: Tasty! They've definitely gone all out to make this taste like something other than your run-of-the-still vodka. There are indeed notes of herbs as well as an impressive smoothness that coats the tongue before gliding down the throat. I'm not entirely certain that I'll mix this into a bloody mary. Well, I take that back... I'll mix it into a bloody mary, but I can't guarantee that it will taste any kind of good.
Brutal Hammer: There's a degree of trepidation as I pour the vodka into the chianti and watch the long blade of bison grass slip out onto my keyboard. Then I curse and make an angry face. There's no one here to see it, but I make an angry face because it's healthier than making angry smash. I take the first sip... Holy shit! It works. I'm kind of surprised, but it actually works!
Normally I post a picture of the bottle. I didn't do that this time. Feel free to whine and moan and bitch and complain &c. All of my lights are arranged around Hank's booth and I don't feel like moving them. Also, my counter is a disaster from the aforementioned pasta preparation.
*Considering the part of NJ that I am from, I should refer to 'sauce' as 'gravy', however mother beat that tendency out of us at a tender age. To this day she shoots her own mother hateful looks when she refers to a tomato-based sauce used over pasta as 'gravy'
