Stories From Bars

Remember what happened last night? Good. Now tell the world.

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oettinger
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Re: Stories From Bars

Post by oettinger »

We once had a little party going at a beach on a nearby river. Someone needed fresh smokes so we went to the next bar on sight.
Just like in Earls story it was an private occasion. But it was a bunch of old people, they were so perplexed that they didn`t realize what was going on.
The bartender too was caught way off guard.
I don`t recollect much else of that evening though. But I think the old ladys and gents enjoyd it.


I once tried to crash a really yuppy style private party, with limousines and such. Damn these people have nasty unfriendly bouncers who act as they were Kevin Costner in the bodyguard. Turned out some D-class german folk singer asshole had a birthday party. Damn I wanted to burn that place down so badly. The collective IQ of the attendances must have not crossed 85 it seemed.
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Patchez
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Re: Stories From Bars

Post by Patchez »

I remember a time when my buddy Gary and myself ended up in this shitkicker bar called Creekside Inn. We stropped in spite of there being no creek aside from a foot wide drainage ditch at the back of the parking lot.

We opened the door and it was like one of those movie scenes where everyone is a local and all heads turn in your direction. They realize that you are NOT a local.

Smiling like there is nothing wrong, we head to the bar order our beers and sit down. By the time we are on our second beer and first shot the din of conversation returns to the room. The tension seems to ease a bit.

As things return to normal we scan the room for something to do. Pool? Nah table looks like the felt was just worn to a slick greenish grey slate skin. The bumpers felt so soft that they would only hod a ball deep within their soft confines.

Darts it is. We want to get the locals talking and interacting so we use the house darts, not the sets we always rolled with. Two games in and we’d played each other for a round of beers and a shot. None of the locals bit. What a bunch of stuck up dicks.

Back at the bar we sit trying to figure our next move. I wonder over to the juke box and view the selections. As I suspected this play list hasn’t changed since ’82. A dollar gets me 5 songs. Yeah this thing was that old. I figure maybe my excellent choice o music will endear us to the locals.

It doesn’t. I do notice that this is one of those old boxes that doesn’t randomize it. It plays it as picked. I have figured out our exit strategy. I plop 5 bucks in the box and head for the bar. I order us another round of beers and shots and tell Gary be ready to pound these.

We don’t have long to wait. Within about 8 songs my first pick comes up. I nudge Gary. “If this song repeats a second time, slam these fuckers and we are out of here.”

This song repeats and will for another 23 times. Fuck those asshole hillbillies.
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Dear Booze
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Re: Stories From Bars

Post by Dear Booze »

oettinger wrote:
Fri Nov 24, 2017 10:03 am
We once had a little party going at a beach on a nearby river. Someone needed fresh smokes so we went to the next bar on sight.
Just like in Earls story it was an private occasion. But it was a bunch of old people, they were so perplexed that they didn`t realize what was going on.
The bartender too was caught way off guard.
I don`t recollect much else of that evening though. But I think the old ladys and gents enjoyd it.


I once tried to crash a really yuppy style private party, with limousines and such. Damn these people have nasty unfriendly bouncers who act as they were Kevin Costner in the bodyguard. Turned out some D-class german folk singer asshole had a birthday party. Damn I wanted to burn that place down so badly. The collective IQ of the attendances must have not crossed 85 it seemed.
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Artful Drunktective
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Re: Stories From Bars

Post by Artful Drunktective »

Okole maluna!

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oldsmartskunk
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Re: Stories From Bars

Post by oldsmartskunk »

From all my bar adventures i gathered only a tiny bit of knowledge: be nice to people and never turn down a girl who is willing to fuck you. Oh and my statistics say i only caught STD once. I got a few good sories but i am too shitfaced to post them atm. I shall do that later. Got bless a girl who i willing to fuck Dear booze. And if she is willing to marry him - she is a miracle and a proof of a higher power! Heil dick eagles!

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Re: Stories From Bars

Post by Dear Booze »

oldsmartskunk wrote:
Tue Nov 28, 2017 2:58 pm
From all my bar adventures i gathered only a tiny bit of knowledge: be nice to people and never turn down a girl who is willing to fuck you. Oh and my statistics say i only caught STD once. I got a few good sories but i am too shitfaced to post them atm. I shall do that later. Got bless a girl who i willing to fuck Dear booze. And if she is willing to marry him - she is a miracle and a proof of a higher power! Heil dick eagles!
That's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.
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Artful Drunktective
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Re: Stories From Bars

Post by Artful Drunktective »

oldsmartskunk wrote:
Tue Nov 28, 2017 2:58 pm
From all my bar adventures i gathered only a tiny bit of knowledge: be nice to people and never turn down a girl who is willing to fuck you. Oh and my statistics say i only caught STD once. I got a few good sories but i am too shitfaced to post them atm. I shall do that later. Got bless a girl who i willing to fuck Dear booze. And if she is willing to marry him - she is a miracle and a proof of a higher power! Heil dick eagles!

I was soooo tempted to "fix that for ya" in so many ways... you are just begging for it.

The question is how you have your own STD statistics? OF COURSE we want to hear those stories...but may I recommend you don't post how you caught STD's in your very own "Drunkard Dating Tips / How to's" thread?
Okole maluna!

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Re: Stories From Bars

Post by Backbone Robby Bobby »

I was in Stockholm and even tho I like the good ol' Swedish beer drinking hockey rockers, Stockholm has unfortunately become like most of our Westerner- inner cities: full of unconscious uncultivated "globalizers" in a hurry to nowhere.
Like often, you find the worse wine snobs outside of France (would a Hungarian in Hungary be snobbish about goulash?...) and they give us a bad name to the non-initiated by inventing a lot of rubbish. Anyway, so apparently they systematically serve a glas of water when you order a glas of (bad) wine. I wasn't drinking wine at the bar but I observed this fact. At one point you have this hardass old guy à la Robert Duvall who walked up to the bar and ordered a glass of red. The bartender went "Would you like a glass of water with that?" the old tough guy marked a moment of silence and replied: "Tomorrow..."
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oettinger
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Re: Stories From Bars

Post by oettinger »

"I`d like some red with my white" would`ve been a good answer.

Call it a stockholm-syndrome
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Re: Stories From Bars

Post by Backbone Robby Bobby »

Guten morgen Oettinger.
Thank you very much for the fun skype thang yesterday. Thank you for having me.
Would you like me to tell you the story when I met Slash in a bar in Paris?
COWBOY CODE
If it's not yours. Don't take it.
If it's not true. Don't say it.
If it's not right. Don't do it.

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oettinger
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Re: Stories From Bars

Post by oettinger »

Backbone Robby Bobby wrote:
Sat Jun 18, 2022 2:35 am
Guten morgen Oettinger.
Thank you very much for the fun skype thang yesterday. Thank you for having me.
Would you like me to tell you the story when I met Slash in a bar in Paris?
For real?
Before he became a damn quitter?
Drink!
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Re: Stories From Bars

Post by Backbone Robby Bobby »

oettinger wrote:
Sat Jun 18, 2022 8:58 am
Backbone Robby Bobby wrote:
Sat Jun 18, 2022 2:35 am
Guten morgen Oettinger.
Thank you very much for the fun skype thang yesterday. Thank you for having me.
Would you like me to tell you the story when I met Slash in a bar in Paris?
For real?
Before he became a damn quitter?
For real. After a gig in Paris with Snakepit in June 1995, he went to a bar Chesterfield Café for a gig with a local band. I happened to be there and suddenly saw Slash walking in the bar with two hot metal chicks. I will never forget how impressed I was that he was holding a Guiness glass full of Jack Daniel's. I was young and shameless so I walked up and said hi. Then I asked him if we would see his eyes one day. He was very friendly, swept his hair aside and showed this almost childish innocent look.
Last edited by Backbone Robby Bobby on Sun Jun 19, 2022 3:50 am, edited 1 time in total.
COWBOY CODE
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If it's not true. Don't say it.
If it's not right. Don't do it.

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oettinger
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Re: Stories From Bars

Post by oettinger »

Backbone Robby Bobby wrote:
Sat Jun 18, 2022 11:14 am
oettinger wrote:
Sat Jun 18, 2022 8:58 am
Backbone Robby Bobby wrote:
Sat Jun 18, 2022 2:35 am
Guten morgen Oettinger.
Thank you very much for the fun skype thang yesterday. Thank you for having me.
Would you like me to tell you the story when I met Slash in a bar in Paris?
For real?
Before he became a damn quitter?
For real. After a gig in Paris with Snakepit in June 1995, he went to a bar Chesterfield Café for a gig with a local band. I happened to be there and suddenly saw Slash walking in the bar with two hot metal chicks. I will never forget how impressed I was that he was holding a Guiness glass full ocf Jack Daniel's. I was young and shameless so I walked up and say hi. Then I asked him if we would see his eyes one day. He was very friendly, swept his hair aside and showed this almost childish innocent look.
I`m drooling. Wow, awesome story
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Re: Stories From Bars

Post by Hugh »

One of my regular bartenders offered me a Vizzy hard seltzer. I at first tried to decline, saying I don't like hard seltzers. But I went ahead and tried it and it was good. The bar had been given a bunch of them as free samples, so I drank free the whole afternoon, except for tipping on each pour. (He was pouring them into a wine glass for me.) After I drank all the Vizzy he got me to try another brand but it had that typical hard seltzer taste that I don't like.

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Re: Stories From Bars

Post by Stendhal »

Free booze is the best booze
Everything in moderation, including moderation

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