Drunk Travel Log

Remember what happened last night? Good. Now tell the world.

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Dear Booze
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by Dear Booze »

Mexico, March, 2022, Day III, Part II

There was a lull in the Spring Breaker activities, so we were able to go to a couple of bars. The only problem is during this time of year, with all the fucking kids here, they bar owners remove the barstools. Those of you who know me IRL know that I love to sit at the bar. It's one of my favorite things to do. So, I'm kind of robbed of this experience right now.

We keep hearing rumors that the kids will be leaving today. I sure hope it's true.
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Dear Booze
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

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Mexico, March, 2022, Day IV, Part I

Yesterday, I pointed out Mexico's swelling woke culture. Today, that attitude became glowing like a neon "abierto toda la noche" sign.

The use of drinking straws are discouraged; they are given only when requested. When a straw is provided, it comes with packaging explaining that it it "hecho con agave," (made with the pressed fibers of an agave plant).

It seems that an extra sleeve of material, explaining that the product contained is better for the environment, is a little counter productive.

The fucking plastic forks and knives aren't even plastic. The are also made of some sort of organic material that will surely break down in a landfill ten minutes faster than regular plastic. But the wrappers are still plastic.

The rules about wearing masks while indoors are also strict. Sometimes I depends on which fucking employee is working at the time.

Mexico, at least in Cabo, disappointing me.

I just want a lawless reprieve from the past two shitty years.

Being woke is exhausting.
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Dear Booze
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by Dear Booze »

Mexico, March, 2022, Day IV, Part II

We played 18 holes of golf at Quivira. It's the most beautiful course in the world. Located at Land's End - where the Pacif Ocean meets the Sea of Cortez, it has views of both bodies of water on each hole. Also, it has four "comfort stations" along the course, each of them with a full bar and lots of food. They're designed to slow the players down so they don't have to wait for the players ahead. By the end of the round, we were hammered.
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Dear Booze
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by Dear Booze »

Mexico, March, 2022, Day V, Part I

Got up too early and started in on Irish Coffees, Dirty Monkeys, and Captain & Cokes. It's only 1:30 P.M. And I'm drunk. Heading into town for a full day of expat drinking. This will not end well.
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Nausea
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by Nausea »

Someone oughta bathe those monkeys.
Don't worry. We're in no hurry.

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Dear Booze
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

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Mexico, March, 2022, Day V, Part II

Spent the better part of the day in an outdoor bar in the middle of downtown Cabo. The bartender kept my glass full. Funny thing, there were No Smoking signs posted all around the bar, but as soon as I pulled out a fresh pack, the bartender placed an ashtray in front of me with not even a hint of judgment. THIS is how Mexico is supposed to be.

We had many drinks there and then moved to another bar that looked and felt identical to the first one. The sun was going down and the hustlers began showing up trying to sell us weed, coke and anything else we could possibly want. One guy told us his uncle owned a whorehouse and told us he would give us a ride there.

It was all amusing at first but quickly became tiresome. We knew we were in a shitty area of town and decided it would be best to make our way back to our hotel. We also decided to stop at every bar on the way.

This part is a bit fuzzy, but I know we got lost and ended up hailing a cab.

When I woke up in the morning I realized that I stole a small ceramic pot full of napkins and, for some reason, a black Sharpie.
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Hugh
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by Hugh »

Dude! Until you can produce a story where you walked into a bar full of hot chicks only to find out they are all prostitutes, I ain't got time to be reading this fucking blog.

Come on, Herman, let's get out of here.

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Re: Drunk Travel Log

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Mexico, March, 2022, Day VI

The Spring Breakers have mostly gone home, but we heard that another large group is expected to arrive today. Apparently, there is a company called College U that markets packages to specific resorts. It seems like a hell of a good deal, if you are in your late teens. For $1,000 U.S. they get plane fare, and a room at a nice resort. But each group has to guarantee at least five people.

For the flights, everyone is pushed out on a red eye from small college towns in Indiana, Michigan, and Arizona. They arrive in Cabo at 10:00 in the morning.

When they arrive at the resort, five people at a time are crammed into a 200 square foot junior suite with 2 queens and a rollaway, a small fridge, small balcony, and a million dollar view. The hotel clears about $2,500 per shitty little room every four days.

The kids show up, dog tired from their trip and ready to party. The can't speak to one another without yelling and they can't walk, stand, or sit without being hunched over their phones.

The girls must all shop at the same swimwear store. Every single one of them wear thong-style bikinis. Very few are truly qualified to even own one. Some should be thrown in Mexican prison for the silly notion that they can make it work. Fuck. Why can't their friends be honest and just say "yeah, no. Your ass looks like it was stuffed with marbles at a Build a Slut Workshop, by a kid attending a four-year-old's birthday party."

Two other observations:
The new generation of fuckheads don't smoke.
These little shitfaces don't have tattoos either.
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Hugh
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by Hugh »

US State Dept warns against traveling to Baja: https://www.cbs8.com/article/news/natio ... df02c4ec85

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Dear Booze
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by Dear Booze »

Hugh wrote:
Sat Mar 26, 2022 2:39 pm
US State Dept warns against traveling to Baja: https://www.cbs8.com/article/news/natio ... df02c4ec85
Traveling off the beaten path anywhere in a foreign country can be dangerous.

Being rich in a foriegn country can also be dangerous.

Going to spring break in Florida can be dangerous.

Going to a concert anywhere can be dangerous.

Wearing wrong colors can be dangerous.

Going to a busy mall in Fresno can be dangerous.

I hope TheDrunkardAnglo is being safe. He's a smart guy, so he's got a pretty good shot at not getting murdered, kidnapped, robbed, or beated for the fun of it.

I just made it home after 8 days. Unscathed. Dumb luck.
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oettinger
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by oettinger »

Being smart can be dangerous

Being dumb is dangerous
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oettinger
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by oettinger »

I would`ve written a nice travel log of greece so far but the wifi of this clusterfuck of a resort won`t allow more than 2 uninterrupted minutes of internet. In short all inclusive my ass. The few free drinks suck so hard that we have to buy our own hooch at the store.
Patchez, Golden Coast resorts was the most horrible choice!

Lets hope things take a turn for the better when we fly over to the island for the wedding.
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oettinger
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by oettinger »

Atleast we did an athens tour today and had a real cocktail for the first time on this trip
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Patchez
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by Patchez »

Sorry about that. I had good reviews. I guess they just weren't reviewed by drunks. They would have noted the important things.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

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oettinger
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Re: Drunk Travel Log

Post by oettinger »

The island was way better, real drinks and good people. Beno`s friends rock! Our room reaked of raw sewage though.

Patchez, if possible trade those unused bogus points for some cruise-america stickers please. It would be better spent.
Actually we did alright when we found the supermarket a mile away. They just should never combine the words "all inclusive" and "golden coast" ever again. Not very drunk friendly at all.

German airports don`t have bars, same goes with Athens international. so from a drunkards perspective I give the whole trip a C plus. Zakhyntos saved it a bit with it`s raunchy 24 hour pub scene. It was a mini-Vegas.
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