Summer time drunkenness

Remember what happened last night? Good. Now tell the world.

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oldsmartskunk
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Summer time drunkenness

Post by oldsmartskunk »

I don't know how this one got lost in my booze filled mind, but i didn't share with you all.

Anyway, when your long term relationship fails - you hit the bottle pretty hard. You have fun. You're no longer supposed to stay at home and watch TV, take long romantic walks. This means - you get closer to your single friends. That means - more drinking.

Anyway, it was one of those nights. It was a Friday night. And like every night (unlike Pinky and the Brain) we didn't try take over the world, but rather get drunk enough to kill an elephant. So we did. It began by drinking beers at my friends place. Then there was a call, blast from the past if you will. A girl i used to study with. She invited us to go bar hopping. What could go wrong? We called an Uber and went to a meeting place in all of our drunk glory, dressed as Baltic pimps in the 90's. Lo and behold - that girl didn't age well into her thirties - 40-50 extra pounds. She also brought a friend - girl that looked like a bouncer in German dance club. Certainly not the most enticing prospect of a date . Being a gentleman that my friend is, he whispered in my ear "let's use them from free drinks". Being drunk and no less of a gentleman, i agreed. We hit a first bar - joint in the cellar with ceiling covered with old news papers and old leather sofas instead. Nice place, cheap drinks. Mostly 80's - 90's music. After getting a few drinks in, me and my friend exchanged serious looks - it was time to run. Gracefully we excused ourselves to the bathroom and up we went into the night. At this point we were DRUNK. My memory of events that followed is hazy at best. Talking to random people , dancing , chatting up some girls. At around 4 am, right when the sun was about to rise, i noticed my friend is no longer with me and i'm talking to a swinger couple. I decided it's not my time to try a dick and i took my leave. It was time to go home. When i left the bar i saw a picture that can only be compared to Dante's "Inferno". There was a large circle of people cheering and applauding - there must be a fight going on. I wouldn't miss that for the world. I make my way through people to see what is going on and ... It's my friend fingering one of the fat girls we ditched surrounded by cheering crowd. What can a mortal man do ? He was done for, those fingers were to deep for me to save him. I did the only thing a real could do - i called a cab and spoke a small prayer to fishermen lost at sea (of fat women).

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Nausea
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Re: Summer time drunkenness

Post by Nausea »

oldsmartskunk wrote:
Tue Dec 27, 2022 11:51 am
I decided it's not my time to try a dick and i took my leave.
When is it proper time to try a dick? Asking for a friend.
Don't worry. We're in no hurry.

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Artful Drunktective
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Re: Summer time drunkenness

Post by Artful Drunktective »

Captivating story O$$! Can't believe you haven't shared that one with me before. Although maybe you did and I was too drunk to remember. But seriously, I could envision it as if I was there. Thanks for sharing.
Okole maluna!

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oettinger
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Re: Summer time drunkenness

Post by oettinger »

Was your friend Mr. Sock from skype?
Drink!
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oldsmartskunk
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Re: Summer time drunkenness

Post by oldsmartskunk »

Nausea wrote:
Tue Dec 27, 2022 7:39 pm
oldsmartskunk wrote:
Tue Dec 27, 2022 11:51 am
I decided it's not my time to try a dick and i took my leave.
When is it proper time to try a dick? Asking for a friend.
I will definitely know if it comes to it !

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oldsmartskunk
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Re: Summer time drunkenness

Post by oldsmartskunk »

oettinger wrote:
Fri Dec 30, 2022 8:42 am
Was your friend Mr. Sock from skype?
Nope , this one is cool .

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