Drunk Travel Log

[oettinger]

Your friends are probably inside the strip club BTW.[/color]

Hhaahahahahahahahahahahaha
ahahahahahahha

that made my day! Thanks

[Dear Booze]

We are in Ensenada. What a fucking dump. It's fantastico. After several beers, one margarita, and two "complementary" shots of shitty tequila, i am sitting alone on the patio of a strip club. I have lost all five of my friends.

Sitting alone drinking shitty tequila on the patio of a strip club in dumpy Ensenada sounds super fun! Yea!

Your friends are probably inside the strip club BTW.

Turns out that you were correct. They came out one-by-one and then two security guys came chasing after them demanding a tip.

[Dear Booze]

Frday Afternoon. Post Strip Club.
Ed decided to buy a blanket from one of the shitty street vendors and agreed to pay $65. I heard this and started screaming "YOU BETTER NOT GIVE HIM SIXTY-FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS FOR THAT THING. I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO DO THAT!"

The vendor politely said "It's hand made, sir"

Ed chimed in "Yea. It's hand made. It's good quality"

I continued my rant. "FUCK YOU! I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO PAY THAT AMOUNT. YOU CAN GET IT FOR UNDER TWENTY FUCKING DOLLARS."

Then I walked to the next shop and asked the vendor to show me blankets. He showed me the same blanket and told me he would sell it to me for $20. So I walked back outside and yelled down the sidewalk at Ed. But it was too late. He had paid $45 for the first one. Then he paid the second guy $20 for the second blanket.

I purchased a two hand made friendship bracelets. The first one says "I Love Black Dick" and the second one says "I Love Smegma". I paid a total of $5 for both. I will be giving them away as presents at Christmas.

Right before we left Ensenada, I purchased some brass knuckles. I'm not sure why I bought them, but I did.

[Dear Booze]

Friday Afternoon. Post Blanket Shopping.
We found a great little bar with a great bartender. We stayed there for a coule of hours.

We played a dice game where each player takes turns rolling five dice. As long as you roll at least one one (1), you keep going. The ones are added as the game prgresses. The person rolling the seventh on gets to pick a drink; the person rollong the 14th one pays for the drink; and the person rolling the 21st one drinks the drink.

Before we left, we had everyone in the bar playing the game with us, including the bartender.

[Dear Booze]

Friday Evening. Arriving Back at the Ship.

To get back on an international cruise ship, you must go through a customs check. Just like at an airport. Everything gets scanned, passports are checked, and there are drug-sniffing dogs all over the place.

The custom agents took me into a little room to have a little talk with me. My brass knuckles were confiscated. They gave me a good talking to and then let me go.

[oettinger]

Friday Evening. Arriving Back at an international cruise ship, you must go through a customs airport. Everything gets passports and there are sniffing dogs all over the place.

The agents took me into a room to have a little confiscated talking to me .

Oh fuck did that hurt?

[Patchez]

Friday Evening. Arriving Back at the Ship.

To get back on an international cruise ship, you must go through a customs check. Just like at an airport. Everything gets scanned, passports are checked, and there are drug-sniffing dogs all over the place.

The custom agents took me into a little room to have a little talk with me. My brass knuckles were confiscated. They gave me a good talking to and then let me go.

None of that happened on our Bahamas trip. We just had to turn in any booze we bought and show our Carnival ID card to get back on. No dogs. Nothing. The ship smelled wonderful after our first stop. Weed wafting in from here and there.

[Artful Drunktective]

Frday Afternoon. Post Strip Club.
Ed decided to buy a blanket from one of the shitty street vendors and agreed to pay $65. I heard this and started screaming "YOU BETTER NOT GIVE HIM SIXTY-FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS FOR THAT THING. I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO DO THAT!"

The vendor politely said "It's hand made, sir"

Ed chimed in "Yea. It's hand made. It's good quality"

I continued my rant. "FUCK YOU! I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO PAY THAT AMOUNT. YOU CAN GET IT FOR UNDER TWENTY FUCKING DOLLARS."

Then I walked to the next shop and asked the vendor to show me blankets. He showed me the same blanket and told me he would sell it to me for $20. So I walked back outside and yelled down the sidewalk at Ed. But it was too late. He had paid $45 for the first one. Then he paid the second guy $20 for the second blanket.

I purchased a two hand made friendship bracelets. The first one says "I Love Black Dick" and the second one says "I Love Smegma". I paid a total of $5 for both. I will be giving them away as presents at Christmas.

Right before we left Ensenada, I purchased some brass knuckles. I'm not sure why I bought them, but I did.

Blanket shopping?? Man you guys really know how to party!

So you neglected to mention what the friendship bracelets you bought for yourself say. "I Love DVDA"?

[oettinger]

Blanket shopping?? Man you guys really know how to party!

So you neglected to mention what the friendship bracelets you bought for yourself say. "I Love DVDA"?

What Would Jesus Drink maybe

[Patchez]

What Would Bacchus Drink?

[oettinger]

What Would God Throw up on

[Lush City]

I'm too scared to travel anymore. Airports are Constitution free zones which means total strangers get to put their hands down your pants! Not only that, if you complain they can lock you up and make you miss your flight. I'm staying home, thank you very much. Gone are those days of expense paid business trips to NY City ordering up hookers to your hotel room.

[oettinger]

I'm too scared to travel anymore. Airports are Constitution free zones which means total strangers get to put their hands down your pants! Not only that, if you complain they can lock you up and make you miss your flight. I'm staying home, thank you very much. Gone are those days of expense paid business trips to NY City ordering up hookers to your hotel room.

I hate travelling too, by plane, by boat,by train, by bus. Everything sucks about it. Airports share a special place in my heart for the most awful places on earth. The lone thing I can live with is driving in your own car. But as long as they don`t build a bridge over the ocean it`s a necessary evil

[Dear Booze]

This is the weekend that I've been looking forward to for weeks. Five friends and I will attack California's central coast bars without warning. We will start at around noon in Morro Bay, the Poland of the region. We do not expect much resistance from the locals and figure on a decisive victory by sundown. Then, we will move on to San Luis Obispo. this will provide a little more challenge. It's larger, has more bars, and is filled with young drinkers from California Polytechnical University. This may take all night.

Tomorrow, we will attack from the south. They will not be expecting it. We will roll through Arroyo Grande, Pismo Beach, and back up to San Luis for a final attack before moving up to Paso Robles. The earth will be scorched. There will be casualties. 100 more things I've done while drunk will be added to the list. It will be ugly.

Say a prayer, we're going in.

[oettinger]

Good luck soldier, trample the undrunk hurdle the loaded