my time at church

hippiedrunk88 · Post by **hippiedrunk88** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 2:31 am

hello all you drunks im new here and would like to share some stories with you all, mind you i havnt been drinking long (3 years to be precise) but ive gone through whole liquor stores almost lol anyway heres the story.

well lets start off as any good story starts off as, a long long time ago (actually 2 years, 3 months, 16 days, 14 hours, 13 min, 54 sec)
I was once a lad (still a lad) of only 16 years old.

I was at a good friends of mines house and decided we were without of anything to do at all (this includes spanking it as we didnt have any porn) so we decided to head to the liquor store and but some mescal seeing as how we have yet to eat the worm, so we go yonder the yon liqour store ( a whole town away) and got two bottles of mescal the cashier rung it up and at 25 dollers apiece it was going to be no ordinary night.

when we got back to the house of wonders that is my buddies house, we started on the shots, first taking a lick of the spices in a packet that came with the bottle and doing the shot soon afterward, after about half the bottle each we stumble to the bathroom at 12 oh clock the witching hour to piss and puke if need be ( that shit tastes like kissing an old man).

When we got to the bathroom of salvation my buddie byron laid out in the tub and i took the video camera and started taping everything we did for the reat of the night ( a bad move to prove later) anyway he was in the tub and another was sitting on the rim of the tub ane i was taping all the while he grabbed a bottle of pepto and started to play with it, I thought it was a pussy move to drink it while you were drinking cause if yah need that you dont deserve to drink, i kicked it and it splattered all over his face and the walls ( it looked like he was in a bad gay porn film)

After all that we drained the rest oh the bottles of mescal (one of me buds werent drinking cause he hates life fuck him) then me bud that was drinking came up with a brilliant idea (not so by the end of the night) "lets go to the church" he said, the church a mere 200 yards away seemed so perfect to play at we all decided to go, so we went, when we got there we started to play and start the fun, first we played on the swings and slides (yes we are losers at heart) and had the time of our lives.

all the while taping everything we did (mind you the taping will come clear later) we decided top paly with the septic tank. not a good idea but what the hell lets do something with it i said and we did oh we so did, we started off byut putting things in it, blocks of wood plopl plop it went, some other things plop plop it went, a frog plop plop it went my undrunk buddy plop plop he went lol it was awsome he was so pissed,

an so on and on it went untill i got the bright idea to say lets BLOW it up, well as being an experienced pyro for 3 years i borught over some depth charges made outa AC, for the lamens its acetone peroxide a high explosive made outa simple homemade chemicals, anyway we made some charges somehow seeing as how drunk we were and dropped em!!!!

in seconds the ground shook and a fountain of shit and whatever spew up from the hole we hid bwefore hand just in case (guess wee were a lil smart being so drunk but maybe it was the undrunk ones fualt) after the earthquake we yelled at the sky the loudest we could the whole song of hotel california (just me and the other drunk) so we could celebrate the life of the party and be the best drunks and live the best life we could in the time we could unlike everybody else who doesnt live the life they wished they could and just bcomes a tool, becomes nothing more than a shell which everyone can decide what they want to do with it,

anyway enough of the ranting if they make a topic folder for rants im there, anyway after the explosion and such we just hung out and drank some beer (actually the rest of the so much 5 cans we had left) and listened to music (my fav the doors just so melodic) then we started walking away down the middle of the church alley and a light flashes us "the other two run off a lil bit but i stay there a look dumb ass me" i yell at the other two to come back come back, they did and i assured them that nothing would happen to us as long as they listened to me

when we first started talking to the cops theyfirst said STOP WHAT YOU KIDS DOIN well we stopped and headed back, well they searched us and the what not and we headed streight to the station where we have 3 hours of questioning and mind games and the like until my drunk friends family arives to get us and pjut us in there custody when three hours l;ater his family arrives to pick us up and talkes to the police to get the situation then we go home to his house to sleep.

when we get there his grandmother picks him up buy the shirt and slaps the shit outa him (his grammy was in the hells angels) after a long bitching we go up to sleep (miond you o forgot to tell you about when the cops watched the tape of us doing all this shit an luaphing at it) we watched it with his mom and she luaphed her ass off about it in the latter days we got court and such and blah blah blah blah but we got off scott free anyway one oof my stories from my days as a 16 year old

i was drunk while typing thisd so m,id the errors

Resident Asshole · Post by **Resident Asshole** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 9:01 am

idiots

hippiedrunk88 · Post by **hippiedrunk88** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 1:32 pm

yep your right there, but ive seen some dumber things the drunks i this town have done though

happydrunk · Post by **happydrunk** » Tue Dec 20, 2005 3:52 pm

and I had such high hopes for you hippiedrunk. sigh.

hippiedrunk88 · Post by **hippiedrunk88** » Sat Dec 24, 2005 12:07 am

well dont lose faith on me now people i have many years oh drinking ahead of me lol

grippingthewheel · Post by **grippingthewheel** » Sat Dec 24, 2005 12:51 am

Go. Repent. And sin no more. And Jesus Fucking Chre-ist sow some class. Now drink and ponder this your debauchery.