I stand behind my decision

Remember what happened last night? Good. Now tell the world.

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Maj
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Joined: Tue May 06, 2014 3:13 pm

I stand behind my decision

Post by Maj »

Ok I invited a friend to my parents cottage at Balm Beach for the weekend. Unbenounced to me he decides to bring his new girlfriend. No offence to our mentally challenged drunks out there but she was a fucking retard in the best sense of the word. In fact, she was so retarded that she made my friend retarded, I guess so he could relate. Example; they had one of those multi coloured beach balls that blow up, on the beach, they were literally standing two feet apart and tossing the beach ball back and forth, while giggling, for like an hour. If I had a samurai sword I'd have killed them both with it.

Long story short at 3 pm I hit the bottle. By 11 pm I said "fuck this I'm gone." I had just"broken up" with my girlfriend however I figured if I'm driving 100 kms I'm getting laid so I called her and gave the drunken "I'm the asshole, I still love you" speech. Any way, I grabbed my 26er of southern, a plastic cup, a bag of ice and down the road I go. I get to about a mile from my destination when I see the fuckin lights of numerous cop cars. I run the gauntlet like a champ, but some nosey cop steps off the curb and sees the bottle of southern riding shotgun on the passenger seat. He pulls me over in a jiffy and discovers I have a bag of ice on the floor and a cocktail between my legs.

I gave him the obligatory, and he seemed sympathetic. He paraded me before the Sarge and told him, and I remember every word, "he had a cocktail while driving, he just broke up with his girlfriend and he doesn't want to get done."

The Sarge said, "if your girlfriend is here in ten minutes I'll let you go, but we're impounding your car. You better not be lying. Make your call."

I called and she answered. She was at the station in no time. She arrived and I was waiting with the cops at the front counter. I heard one of the cops say "this is bullshit". You should've seen their faces when the saw she was black. They let me go but they didn't like it one bit. FYI all cops are racist. I eventually married that woman. She lets me drink to my heart's content to this day.
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

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