ZID VI CHAPTER DOS: TO THE RANCH

[The Urbane Spaceman]

We got all riled up from that powder, and Joey put on some punk rock, and then them two huge bastards began to mosh in the living room. It was quite a sight to behold. One was wearing his leather with a skull spray-painted over its back, and he had a tall, purple mohawk,

…and the other was dressed in burnt shorts with tall boots, and he had dried, crusty blood all over his body.


The following song was not what Joey played. He was quite fond of them Bauhaus back then, but this song by Love and Rockets exemplifies the enjoyment of the powder we shared that night. My apologies, Peter Murphy.

(Think of this as T-Rex, maybe that will help. Nothing wrong with hot rods and hot chicks in this video. You know, it is good to be a man. Amen.)



*Ahem*


Let’s do this. Call for some beverage. Have you anything within reach?



I thought that you did. I know this about you.


3… 2… 1…


DRINK!


Ah. Yes in-fucking-deed. Mmmm.



Ok, so when Sean knocked Jerry back and he fell over the coffee table/ Doc Martin-resting place, that was when Joey decided it was time for us to depart and embark towards the party up to the north of Fuckno.


Joey did not want them two huge bastards to fuck up his place. This was a good idea. Let them fuck up someone else’s place.


Joey turned off the stereo as Sean pulled Jerry back up off the floor, again. This would be a recurring theme, you know.


Joey looked me in the eye. He said, “I have put five envelopes into each of these two baggies that we hold now. That is a total of fifty hits. As you wish, there are some left in the freezer. You good with that?”


I said, “I got mine secured. I’ll mind them. Just like with the weed that we always sell. We will make a bunch more profit. But what will we do when them newbies freak out form this ZID?”

Joey nodded. He said, “As we always do. Show them a good time and then get the fuck out.”


You see, it’s always a good idea to plan ahead.

I said, “What is the back-up plan?”


Joey nodded again. He said, “I’m gonna drive that black beast back. We will get those two big fucktards out of there when things get too weird. I will drive us home.”

Well, good. This meant that I could cut loose and have some fun.

And I would.

I nodded back and Joey turned around. He shouted. He said, “Last chance for a piss stop!”


Do you know, those two big bastards jostled into the restroom and one used the toilet and the other used the fucking bathtub to take a piss.

Asshole who did that thing.

Hell, they were both assholes, so they probably took turns and used the sink as well. At least neither took a dump in anything.



Jerry came out wiping his hands on his pants, but you can figure that is was probably not form washing his hands. He grabbed up the plate from the table and licked it clean and then he chucked it back onto the table with a loud clang.


He said, “We gotta bring some brewskies for the ride. You got a bag for that?”


I did. I went into my own room and returned with a knap sack, which is an old term for a “book bag” like what them college kids use these days. Yeah, like anyone reads a fucking book anymore. That is some messed up shit right there, but probably true.



I stowed half case of cans and zipped it up, and I swung it over my back. In doing so, the plastic baggie of tin foils packs fell out of my leather, along with my pack of smokes.


No one saw this.


I recovered them and thought to myself: “I need to be more careful.”

Huh.


I was supposed to be dealing with folks, and what had I done just then?


Here’s a song by one of my own most favorite singers; Greg Dulli, to show my own new encounter with that ZID. We were amped right the hell up, and then we would be unceremoniously let right back down.




Tomorrow, let’s arrive at the Ranch, cool?


Good.



I knew ye’d say yes.


DRINK!


.

[The Urbane Spaceman]

Snap, click, lock.

[mistah willies]

Snap, click, lock.

Dude.

Don't shoot~ I'm a man!

WTF is snap click and lock and LOADED?


.

[booznik]

Snap, click, lock.

Dude.

Don't shoot~ I'm a man!

WTF is snap click and lock and LOADED?


.

That's how the cookie crumbles.

And the Rice Krispies.

Snap crackle pop.

What does that even mean?

I have no idea. But, we're on Skype.

[mistah willies]

It's good for your mooring.

Snap crackle and piss into the moaning!



Where the hell is The Oett?