DESERT SNOW CH 5 "THE PARTY IS OVER"

[The Urbane Spaceman]

Sean guzzled some of this curious bottle of strong bum wine, the Night Train Express, and then he held it over the rear seat towards Monica. She shook her head, but the naked chick grabbed it and polished it off.

Well, that was rude, don’t you think? Why not save some for the angry punk who had purchased it? You know, her new boyfriend?

Sean looked over and pointed at Fat Jerry slogging up the side of the embankment and we all turned our heads. Now there was an ugly sight. Jerry scowled. He was covered in manure muck. His purple mohawk haircut was plastered across his face at odd angles, like he tried to get it out of his eyes with his shitty fingers but only made it worse.

Yeah, he was quite angry.

Sean waited for Jerry to stand up on the street and then he put the hearse in Drive and let Jerry watch our tail lights go off in the distance.

I looked back and saw Jerry doing more of that hopping mad dance that he seemed to be fond of. It kind of looked like a rain dance form an insane person.


I said, “Uh, Sean, you can’t just leave him behind.”

Sean said, “No, I wouldn’t do that, Urb. I’m just having a bit of fun with him.”

Joey said, “You’re having fun at his expense.”


We all looked at Joey for using such a fancy expression.


I said, “If he gets any more angry, and he will explode like a super nova.”

Sean said, “Alllll riiiight. Jeez. Nancy boys. I’ll go back and get him.”

And he did.

Yeah, but, Gawd help us all.



Hey, let’s have a sip or a chug now. This memory is pretty harsh. This mess is mine.


3…

2…

1…

PROSIT




Sean did a twenty point turn with that long old beast on the old crumbly tar of that lonely desert road, and then he drove back towards the angry punk rocker. But he stopped about fifty yards away and set her in Park.


Was this guy suicidal or something? I've always wondered about this.


In the headlights with the windshield wipers going back and forth, almost to the beat of the song playing from the radio (ever notice this sort of thing?) we watched the most pissed off wet hen in the desert charge toward the hearse. He looked like a ghostly, black figure appearing out of the rainy darkness, coming for us. It was a nightmare turned real.


Wipe. Blur. Wipe. Blur. Wipe. Blur. The image was like stop motion. It was interesting to view. Each wipe cleared the glass and showed the scary monster much closer.


Fat Jerry reached us and grabbed the door handle just as Sean locked the door.


Holy shit.

Fat Jerry pressed his face against the driver side window and he hissed from outside, in the deluge. He said, “Open. This. Fucking. Door. NOW!”

Sean did. I mean, it, he fucking did this thing. Jerry reached in and grabbed Sean by the belt straps across his chest and yarded him out. Sean held his hands up. He said, “Whoa! Easy now! I thought you were in the car! I came back for you!”




Well they shook hands and Jerry said, “Whew! I really thought that you had just abandoned me in the pitch black of night along this lonely road lit only by sparse lamp posts while the heavens open up their tears and cry for the sake of lost humanity. OK, we are good. Would you mind if I drove us all---“





Hehehe. Sorry. Just kidding. I’m a bit of a bastard, a joker.



Jerry shrieked and it sounded like a chorus of a thousand hellions howling from the depths of hell. The ladies screamed and I clambered over the seat and got in the driver’s seat. I pulled the car back so they could have some space for their discussion. But mainly, so we could see them better in the headlights.

This was going to be good.


Well, Sean didn’t waste any time. He charged Jerry and bent low at the moment of contact and got Jerry around the waist. This knocked Jerry off his center of balance and he fell over on top of Sean.

The thing was; Jerry was really quite heavy, so this backfired on Sean. Down they went, with Sean under Fat Jerry, onto the wet tar. Jerry grabbed Sean’s left leg and he bit his calf meat with his teeth. Good thing that Sean was wearing those thigh high boots. (By the way, never get bit on the calf. It fucking hurts.)


Sean kicked and scrambled and kneed Jerry off of him and sat back, holding his hurt leg. His face was bleeding form the scrape on the tar under Jerry. Then his face flashed bright and then red and then blue.


I looked behind the hearse and saw an emergency vehicle coming up the road at great speed.

I said, “COPS!”


Those two bastards slowly got up onto their feet. I looked back at the chicks in the rear of the hearse.


Oh shit. Two young women in the rear of a black hearse with white skulls spray painted all over it. One was naked. It smelled like a dive bar back there. We were all under age. We looked like the sort of people who would cause the destruction to a once lovingly adorned home.

It was a moment of clarity. I found the answer, in my panic. Do Not Panic. Unless you really need to.


I said, “Leather OFF!”

The other men looked at me as the lights grew brighter in the pouring rain. I said, “Fucking take off your leather jackets and give them to me!”


Jerry peeled his wet, sticky, stinky leather off and handed it to me. I heaved it onto the second row of seats and then I climbed over and landed on top of it. I pulled my jacket off before I helped Joey remove his. Always place the oxygen mask over your own face before you assist smaller individuals. That way, you don’t both pass out.


I leaned over the seat back and looked at the ladies there. They were both in a state of shock. This was probably the worst date they had ever been on. It was time to be nice to them. Always be nice to the fairer gender. We are here to protect them. Never forget this.


I said, “Monica. Spoon the naked chick. Then both of you, curl up into a small ball. Please don’t move around at all. Try to breathe calm. We can get out of this situation if you listen to me. You two cool with this?”

They nodded, and that was the best thing. It really was the most important thing at that moment.
Them two ladies did this quite well. I took a moment to marvel the naked chick’s breasts, and then I draped Fat Jerry’s huge, soggy jacket over them. I used mine to cover their legs, and Joey’s little one to cover their heads.


Then I turned around in my seat and opened up the side door form where I was sweating and climbed out just as the emergency vehicle stopped behind us.

Indeed, it was a police officer. He jogged over to us and surveyed the situation, for that is what they do. They have to assess the next course, in order to protect the innocent. Their most important service is to protect society from the ones who will harm the rest of us.


He said, “All right. What exactly is going on here?”

Those two big punks were breathing hard, and one was bleeding from his face.
Jerry said, “That bastard there is a—“

I cut him off. I said, “Officer, they are fighting because we are lost. We’re trying to get to that big bonfire up there.” I pointed at it. It was still glowing up north, even in the downpour.


The officer shined his flashlight into their faces, as they stood in the headlights from the hearse. I watched them see his light. They both cleared their brains from their ZID, their snow, their booze, for just a minute.


The officer said, “You two. You both stand apart. No sudden moves. Help me out here, boys.”


He said to me, “Step away from the vehicle, young man. Over there, where I can see you.”

Of course, we all abided. No need to go to the police station. No need to get shot.


He walked up to the hearse and shined his light into the rear window. He walked along the side of the hearse to the rear side window. He wiped the rain drops away and looked around back there, but I think the rain coming down made it hard to view the inside. No naked chick skin appeared in his light.

He walked up to the opened door I had just exited and saw Joey all alone, sitting there, looking pitiful, then he turned back to us.

I could see he was deciding to go further with us, and he really wanted to investigate further. Probably his cop sense was tingling. Yet, he knew what was happening up the road, at the bonfire. He had more pressing matters.

He said, “You stated that you boys are heading to that bonfire up north?”

I said, “Yup. We heard that there is a party going on up there. We just can’t find it.”

The officer considered this. He shook his head . He said, “Turn this ugly vehicle around and go straight home. There’s nothing up the road for you. The party is over. This is your lucky night. You get to go home tonight to your parents. Now get the hell out of here. NOW!”

No truer words were spoken that night. We survived. It was our lucky night, in many more ways than one.


You know, always mind your leather. It can save you.


See you next time. Hey, time for new light bulbs, huh. Time to freshen up.


Until the next time, DRINK! Always drink. Amen.



.

[oldsmartskunk]

You got a lucky break, that's for sure. A cop let go a bunch of drunk, drugged, underage punks go! That usually never happens. But somehow it did! Charm of ZID i guess. And rain. Can't wait for another part. Let's see, so far you smashed your own place, got drunk, took drugs, laid on a highway, sold drugs, were the main cause of massive destruction, fought... And it is still not the end? How much more human body can take? This is simply incredible !

[oettinger]

They both cleared their brains from their ZID, their snow, their booze, for just a minute.

That is a big task, but possible to do. After that the fucking floodgates open... and the laughing starts.

Looking foreward to the next chpt, and how Sean got in jail. It was him, wasn`t it?

[givemesomepils]

the next time on skype, i have a story to tell, a lot of the same elements of this story, mabye a little less exciting than this, but it shows the resourcefulness that can be instilled in a person at the thought of jail, or even prison (but jail for most cases). and it's true as well . I want to say I told oettinger, but I could be wrong.

anyway this was worth the read.

[oettinger]

the next time on skype, i have a story to tell, a lot of the same elements of this story, mabye a little less exciting than this, but it shows the resourcefulness that can be instilled in a person at the thought of jail, or even prison (but jail for most cases). and it's true as well . I want to say I told oettinger, but I could be wrong.

anyway this was worth the read.

Don`t ask me, I remember next to nothing mostly.
Though if you give me some snippets, a lot might be resurrected. We`ll try next skype-session