You Are A Bartender, Part VI

[Dear Booze]

You and nine other drunks are bathed in the glow of a giant neon martini glass. It’s 2:01 A.M. and you are all standing on the sidewalk in front of the Stardust Room. A geeky college kid is doing an embarrassingly poor job trying to convince a girl whom he met at the bar to come back to his apartment; three hipsters with ironic facial hair are trying to figure out where they can get some more beer; a fat Asian girl is on her cell phone trying to get a taxi cab to pick her up; a couple in their mid-twenties are sitting on the curb sharing a cigarette; and you and Ryan are trying to decide where to have breakfast.

“Wanna go to Denny’s?” Ryan asks

“No, they’re always packed.”

“What about hitting the Jack in the Box?”

“No, they’ll be packed too.”

“Oh, I know,” Ryan says as if he just remembered where some treasure was buried, “Unico!”

“Unico,” you repeat with an impish grin. “Yes, that sounds perfect.”

Tacos el Unico, which roughly translates to “The Best Taco,” is a food truck which you and Ryan agree serves the best tasting food ever made. The only problem is its location. It can be found, every Friday and Saturday night, parked in an empty lot in a terrible area of town. The lot is next to Pancho's Night Flight, a Chicano nightclub known for illegal drug trafficking, gang activity, and frequent stabbings. Most victims of the latter offence received the sharp end of a knife for simply looking at someone the wrong way. Regardless, the operators of Taco's El Unico serve the best food available after 2:00 A.M. and you both believe that the risk is worth the reward.

There is no doubt in your mind that you are too drunk to drive, so you don't argue when Ryan says "I'll drive. Leave your car here and we'll come back for it later." Funny thing about it, Ryan must be as drunk as you, but you go along with the plan.

Fifteen minutes later, you are both standing in a crowd of drunk strangers waiting to order your food through the little food truck window.

You silently marvel at the costume-like outfits worn by the patrons of Pancho's Night Flight. The girls are wearing insanely high heeled shoes and very tight - and very short - dresses which sparkle in the light of the lights of the passing cars. Most of the girls are not built to wear these dresses, but their novios and sanchos don't seem to notice. All of the men wear one of three uniforms: There are the guys with outdated leisure suits; the ones wearing the jeans with lots of metal sequins on the back pockets and an untucked long sleeved shirt with some sort of eagle, or dragon, or lion printed across the back; and the guys with the 1940's-era zoot suits, with the long jackets, high-waisted and wide-legged pants with tight cuffs, black and white shoes, and the three-foot pocket watch chain hanging from somewhere under the coat. And here you are with your buddy Ryan. You are out of place. However, it's after closing time and you are at the best taco truck in town. You have this earnest understanding that Unico is the great equalizer. You are certain that, somehow, this place is immune to the kind of violence you read about in the morning papers. However, just in case this theory is driven by your blood alcohol content, you limit your eye contact with the other customers.

You spend the next fifteen minutes standing around, watching the cultural freak show, and eating delicious Carne Asada tacos from little paper plates.

[mistah willies]

Damn fine series my friend.

These tidbits made me long for the flea markets we used to have on the south side. (I wonder if they are still there)

...Regardless, the operators of Taco's El Unico serve the best food available after 2:00 A.M. and you both believe that the risk is worth the reward...

...You spend the next fifteen minutes standing around, watching the cultural freak show, and eating delicious Carne Asada tacos from little paper plates.

DRINK!

[Dear Booze]

Damn fine series my friend.

These tidbits made me long for the flea markets we used to have on the south side. (I wonder if they are still there)

...Regardless, the operators of Taco's El Unico serve the best food available after 2:00 A.M. and you both believe that the risk is worth the reward...

...You spend the next fifteen minutes standing around, watching the cultural freak show, and eating delicious Carne Asada tacos from little paper plates.

DRINK!

They are indeed still there!

[TheDrunkardAnglo]

I'm enjoying this, keep them coming.

[oettinger]

You silently marvel at the costume-like outfits worn by the patrons of Pancho's Night Flight.

What about the "You`ve worn it waking up drunk this morning for three days straight style" that I try to get fashionable again right now?

"Most victims of the latter offence received the sharp end of a knife for simply looking at someone the wrong way. Regardless, the operators of Taco's El Unico serve the best food available after 2:00 A.M."
Hmm, watching Jeffrey Damer docu`s they say human flesh smells like chicken. Esp. after 2.

[Dear Booze]

Hmm, watching Jeffrey Damer docu`s they say human flesh smells like chicken. Esp. after 2.

"Tattoos taste great!"
~ Jeffrey Dahmer, February 17, 1992

[mistah willies]

I'm enjoying this, keep them coming.

Indeed, Dear Booze. Indeed.