Here’s a tune for you as you do, before we embark.
We'll wait for you.
All set?
#... 2… !...
DRINK!
*clink*
Ahhh. Very nice.
The Sun turned his eye from us and glared at the coast way off from this desert river valley. We had a few hours left, but Joey needed only a few minutes. This next part is the thing I that hated about him.
Despised, actually.
We sped along the 41 to the off-skirts of Fuckno for the last job, with Big Gulps in hand. There was rum mixed within them, of course. Why else have one of those big-ass containers? Huh. Big ass. That’s ‘Murrican, thank you very much.
First we would lie on the roof, and then lie to the Lady. But only Joey would rise to the Lady, if she was pretty enough. Most of the time he would just flirt with them, and the older ones and the really strange-looking plastic-faced ones would take what they could get with his winks and eyeing, and then they’d replay it over and over again in their heads, when they were alone with their toys.
Joey always got call backs for more servicing, but only if it was for another chimney sweep. In a way, he was a bit of a whore. Only thing was, he loved to fuck people. In all of the meanings of that word.
I carried them poles to the truck, chucked them in the back, and took my leather gloves off to sip form my flask and then pull my filter respirator up over my nose and mouth. I had my goggles on my forehead, so I put my gloves back on and grabbed the plastic bags and the shop vac, and I went back inside.
Of course, Joey and the Lady were not in view. Most certainly, they were examining the tiny print at the bottom of his contract, his dickument, his non-oral agreement. She was taking dicktation and he was inserting his point of view. OK, I can go on like this all day, but so could Joey, back then.
I set the shop vac down and pulled one side of the blanket away from the hearth opening. You know, there was really nothing much there to suck up. It was for show. Sometimes, you might find a dead bird up above the damper on the shelf behind it. Smoked and desiccated. This would happen when the shop vac suddenly howled and the hose quivered. Of course, the normal sound of the vacuum cleaner was adequate to block out the sound of Joey’s hose quivering and the Lady howling.
I finished at the same time that probably Joey did. I pulled the blankets away from the hearth and got all of the duct tape off the bricks/stones/slate and stuffed them into the big bags. I hauled the shop vac out and came back for the bags. Joey would be coming out in a bit, so I sat in the truck cab and smoked while I listened to KKDG FM on the radio. I looked over the wide lawn and wondered how much their water bill was. Enough for their lawns and the huge swimming pool in the back. Them pools needed to be topped off quite often, due to the evaporation in the desert.
Bastards.
Such thinking will make a man thirsty. Hell, I’d get a headache if rum wasn’t my aspirin. I thought of the beers I would have in a little while, after we settled up with the bossman’s lady. She was good with numbers.
Stop for a moment, if you’d like, as I take a sip from this black ale. It’s from Unibroue brewers, of Chambly, Quebec. It is Terrible, 10.5 % ABV. There’s molasses, black licorice, and some black pepper; bottle-fermented. You know, sipping that and necking black rum for a chaser is kinda nice right now. Sharing, not pitching. Fuck that shit. Uni brow means something else here, of course.
Joey came back out with his coverall and boots on backwards.
I kid you.
We drove back to the shop to settle up with the Boss Lady. We chucked our coveralls off and put our cheap clothing back on for the ride back home.
Boss Lady said, “Gimme your documents and your payment checks. Got any Relinings?”
Joey said, “Two.”
She said, “Damn fine. Here’s your pay.” She handed over cash money. She looked at us and said, "Good to have you back. But I tell you, this better be all real real. I'll come looking for you if you gave me rubber checks."
Joey said, "Fuck you."
She just laughed.
Now it was time to have some fun. We had bidness to do.
*ahem*
Sean watched the sun rise in the east. How many days? All of the food, all of the wine, all of the Monica…
It was too much. A wild animal does not like to be contained. It looks for escape routes.
Hmmm.
Need to put up links so that you know what in thee hell is going on here.
In the mean time,
DRINK!
.
