Stay in safe

[oldsmartskunk]

Use a buttplug as an anus jammer!

[oettinger]

Yes, a drinking story for the ages. I loved reading this. Is there a part II in the making?

[oldsmartskunk]

There will be if your ass is hairy enough. You used that spam bot to set me up!

[oettinger]

Sorry man, BF told me about it. That post was deleted.

Stray safe!

[Patchez]

Strafe safely!

[Paninaro]

Along similar lines, if you have a litre bottle of supermarket own brand Scotch one day and then decide to take it out with you for a spot of garden hedge jumping (other people's gardens, obviously) at 1am, and after jumping some hedges and trying unsuccessfully to climb the water tower, snagging your coat on barbed wire in the process, if you then decide you need a drunken shit and you stand in the middle of the darkened street and go for it, NEVER, no, wait... ALWAYS remember to pull your jeans and shoes all the way away from your body before you begin, otherwise you will defecate directly into your trousers and then drunkenly pull them back up without really noticing anything's wrong and when your girlfriend pulls up in the street in a taxi looking for a late night hook up she will not want to have sex with you. Remember, kids, your uncle Paninaro does these experiments so that you don't have to.

[oettinger]

Along similar lines, if you have a litre bottle of supermarket own brand Scotch one day and then decide to take it out with you for a spot of garden hedge jumping (other people's gardens, obviously) at 1am, and after jumping some hedges and trying unsuccessfully to climb the water tower, snagging your coat on barbed wire in the process, if you then decide you need a drunken shit and you stand in the middle of the darkened street and go for it, NEVER, no, wait... ALWAYS remember to pull your jeans and shoes all the way away from your body before you begin, otherwise you will defecate directly into your trousers and then drunkenly pull them back up without really noticing anything's wrong and when your girlfriend pulls up in the street in a taxi looking for a late night hook up she will not want to have sex with you. Remember, kids, your uncle Paninaro does these experiments so that you don't have to.

Hey, that story might fit in right here.