so it happened twice

Remember what happened last night? Good. Now tell the world.

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Hugh
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so it happened twice

Post by Hugh »

and now i can't help but wonder if my bar days are over. it's better to stay home anyway. but sometimes I like to go out.

it's these young people. millenials or hipsters or whatever the fuck they are. i'm 52 years old and don't read the news anymore. you tell me who these goddamb 20 somethings are that infiltrate bars.

i know some of it is my own fault. but i ain't bothering them. they come up and they want to take my picture. they want to put a picture of the big ugly tranny they saw in the bar up on their facebook or instagram or whatever the fuck it is. they can't tell if i'm an ugly old chick or an ugly effeminate man. so they come up with some goddamb pretense to convince me to allow them to take my fucking picture. The last time was about a week ago. A young 20 something woman must have drawn the short stick in her group of other snot-nosed brats and was selected to approach me and ask to take my picture. She said I looked just like a friend of her's and pulled up photo of said friend on her phone - who looked nothing like me. I let her take the pic anyway, so I'm sure I'm the trending topic on her facebook page now. I've never really minded being the fool before, but that was because I gave the world a reason to make me their fool. But I ain't bothering these fucking young people. If it happens again I think I'll let loose and smash their fucking phone. It ain't like I have to worry about them fighting back.

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Re: so it happened twice

Post by oettinger »

Face it, you`re photogenic when loaded
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Re: so it happened twice

Post by Patchez »

That's the booze talking!! AMEN!!
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

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Re: so it happened twice

Post by Artful Drunktective »

Is it really a bad thing if bar days are over? I must share my experience last night.
Much to my chagrin I am traveling at the moment for business so to capitalize on the trip I went barhopping last night with a co-worker. It was absolutely horrible. We went to a variety of places from gay bars, military hangouts, night club type where there was a dance floor...it didn't really matter where we went, they were all terrible!! I don't know if it's age or lack of interest or my disdain for social settings but I felt totally out of my element. If it wasn’t a total shithole bar,it was loud and neon playing trendy hip hop music or terrible live cover bands regurgitating classic rock songs (songs that I like until I hear crappy bands cover them). I couldn’t decide which establishment I wanted to end my life in.

My co-worker- who was part of the problem but I didn't know this because we never drank together before – was super drunk and hit on every guy that looked in our direction which I found very awkward (not to mention kinda slutty). Every time I turned around she was off dragging unwilling and clearly uncomfortable men to our table, and at one point, 2 women and a dude. I just pulled THE “Don’t mind her, she’s drunk”. I was ready to slip out the back but I knew she would never find her way back to the hotel. I hate being on babysitting duty but she may have died had I not assumed responsibility.

When we finally were walking back to the hotel around 2:00 AM, we met on the street some guys visiting from the Czech Republic staying in a nearby hostel. We agreed to all have a drink and began walking to the next bar. Within minutes she is already groping on the good looking tall one with broken English named "Christoph". WTF. By this time it was going on 2:00 AM so I told her we are leaving because she was super shitfaced and could barely walk. She fell down in the middle of the street every 40 feet or so. At one point, not even wearing shoes and complaining about her feet hurting she said she “can’t go on” any further. Really?! I had to hold her by her shirt so she wouldn’t walk out into traffic. Yea!

As if that wasn’t bad enough, she was completely passed out in my hotel room - which she had her own room she was sharing with another chick- and ended up waking up in the middle of the night and squatted down and pissed all over the carpet near my bed for some mysterious reason. I laid awake in bed after witnessing it for about 2 hours in complete disbelief that it even happened but too drunk to do anything about it except put a towel on it. She woke up all nonchalant too like it was no big thing which really pissed me off.

The other thing I noticed was nobody in this fking city knows how to make a Long Island Ice Tea. Many a lesson learned, I should stick to what I know...hit the liquor store up on the way back to the hotel and make my own drinks and get drunk ALONE. As a drunkard, I prefer the sanctity of my own space without hemorrhaging a bunch of money for some overpriced or overly sweet cocktails and not have non stimulating conversation with irritating strangers and babysitting lightweight amateurs.

She actually had the balls to ask me this morning before I kicked her out of my room “Where do you want to go get drunk tonight?!” YEAH FKING RIGHT BITCH! You peed on the Dude’s rug!
Okole maluna!

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Hugh
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Re: so it happened twice

Post by Hugh »

Artful Detective wrote:
Tue Sep 19, 2017 7:05 pm
Is it really a bad thing if bar days are over? I must share my experience last night.
Much to my chagrin I am traveling at the moment for business so to capitalize on the trip I went barhopping last night with a co-worker. It was absolutely horrible. We went to a variety of places from gay bars, military hangouts, night club type where there was a dance floor...it didn't really matter where we went, they were all terrible!! I don't know if it's age or lack of interest or my disdain for social settings but I felt totally out of my element. If it wasn’t a total shithole bar,it was loud and neon playing trendy hip hop music or terrible live cover bands regurgitating classic rock songs (songs that I like until I hear crappy bands cover them). I couldn’t decide which establishment I wanted to end my life in.

My co-worker- who was part of the problem but I didn't know this because we never drank together before – was super drunk and hit on every guy that looked in our direction which I found very awkward (not to mention kinda slutty). Every time I turned around she was off dragging unwilling and clearly uncomfortable men to our table, and at one point, 2 women and a dude. I just pulled THE “Don’t mind her, she’s drunk”. I was ready to slip out the back but I knew she would never find her way back to the hotel. I hate being on babysitting duty but she may have died had I not assumed responsibility.

When we finally were walking back to the hotel around 2:00 AM, we met on the street some guys visiting from the Czech Republic staying in a nearby hostel. We agreed to all have a drink and began walking to the next bar. Within minutes she is already groping on the good looking tall one with broken English named "Christoph". WTF. By this time it was going on 2:00 AM so I told her we are leaving because she was super shitfaced and could barely walk. She fell down in the middle of the street every 40 feet or so. At one point, not even wearing shoes and complaining about her feet hurting she said she “can’t go on” any further. Really?! I had to hold her by her shirt so she wouldn’t walk out into traffic. Yea!

As if that wasn’t bad enough, she was completely passed out in my hotel room - which she had her own room she was sharing with another chick- and ended up waking up in the middle of the night and squatted down and pissed all over the carpet near my bed for some mysterious reason. I laid awake in bed after witnessing it for about 2 hours in complete disbelief that it even happened but too drunk to do anything about it except put a towel on it. She woke up all nonchalant too like it was no big thing which really pissed me off.

The other thing I noticed was nobody in this fking city knows how to make a Long Island Ice Tea. Many a lesson learned, I should stick to what I know...hit the liquor store up on the way back to the hotel and make my own drinks and get drunk ALONE. As a drunkard, I prefer the sanctity of my own space without hemorrhaging a bunch of money for some overpriced or overly sweet cocktails and not have non stimulating conversation with irritating strangers and babysitting lightweight amateurs.

She actually had the balls to ask me this morning before I kicked her out of my room “Where do you want to go get drunk tonight?!” YEAH FKING RIGHT BITCH! You peed on the Dude’s rug!
Goddamb. Nightmarish. No way I would ever go drinking with someone like that again. (Not now. Maybe 30 years ago I would have.)

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Re: so it happened twice

Post by mistah willies »

Artful Detective wrote:
Tue Sep 19, 2017 7:05 pm
...I prefer the sanctity of my own space without hemorrhaging a bunch of money for some overpriced or overly sweet cocktails and not have non stimulating conversation with irritating strangers and babysitting lightweight amateurs.

...She actually had the balls to ask me this morning before I kicked her out of my room “Where do you want to go get drunk tonight?!” YEAH FKING RIGHT BITCH! You peed on the Dude’s rug!
HA!

So much to quote from that fine post of yours. Damn fine.

You know, back in the day, I had me some run-ins with people who took advantage of a situation with nothing to offer of their own. In the desert, we called them ones "Loadies."

Like, you know, free-loaders. They'd say things to keep you engaged even though you knew what they were doing. Mostly sycophants, (spycho-pants?) or some just to hang out while the bottle/shmoke/coke got passed around. Not really contributing much, and when they got their jollies off, they'd bail. Beer run? They'd disappear until the money got collected in a hat and was on its way. Then they'd come back.

some of these invented new ways of speaking. Jeff Spicoli had a lot to do with they way them desert Loadies started wearing Vans and long shorts and talking about their last surfing trip to Santa Monica pier.

Man, we hated them Loadies lol.

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Re: so it happened twice

Post by RIPT2.0 »

Artful Detective wrote:
Tue Sep 19, 2017 7:05 pm
I hate being on babysitting duty.

I've been there SO many times, although I confess I may been the one who was baby sat once or twice. If I go to a bar these days, it's at what I call "old man happy hour", which means 2 pm till 3pm or so. When the younger idiots start to show up, that's my cue to leave.

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Re: so it happened twice

Post by mistah willies »

Sammy wrote:
Thu Sep 21, 2017 5:45 pm
Artful Detective wrote:
Tue Sep 19, 2017 7:05 pm
I hate being on babysitting duty.

I've been there SO many times, although I confess I may been the one who was baby sat once or twice. If I go to a bar these days, it's at what I call "old man happy hour", which means 2 pm till 3pm or so. When the younger idiots start to show up, that's my cue to leave.


Indeed. When you are among friends, it's the responsibility of each to never leave a soldier behind in the dust. we have all been in that shit-uation. One time, when I was facked right to the gills, they fed me them little pink Pepto-Dismal pills to soothe my stomach. They layed me on a waterbed.

great.

Now my dried out vomit was girlish-colored dust because I was dehydrated even further... Paint the baby room for them!

Side note: did The Oett ever need someone hold up his long hair form the toilet bowl?

Of course, some bastards would simply hold it up with the plunger in one hand and the drink in the other... He's just too damned big to carry outside.

Hey! Protect The Oett. Protect us all.
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Re: so it happened twice

Post by Artful Drunktective »

Sammy wrote:
Thu Sep 21, 2017 5:45 pm
Artful Detective wrote:
Tue Sep 19, 2017 7:05 pm
I hate being on babysitting duty.

I've been there SO many times, although I confess I may been the one who was baby sat once or twice. If I go to a bar these days, it's at what I call "old man happy hour", which means 2 pm till 3pm or so. When the younger idiots start to show up, that's my cue to leave.
I think there are different levels of babysitting. Of course I won’t disagree we’ve all been there at some point. But I take pride in the fact that like you -for myself it is far and few between. It's just a matter of recognizing that narrow window of opportunity you have to get yourself home or to bed before things go awry. And BTW I am down with Old Man Happy Hour any day of the week! And yes I am over the younger idiots but I guess we were also them at one point in time as well.
Okole maluna!

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Re: so it happened twice

Post by Artful Drunktective »

mistah willies wrote:
Thu Sep 21, 2017 7:32 pm
Sammy wrote:
Thu Sep 21, 2017 5:45 pm
Artful Detective wrote:
Tue Sep 19, 2017 7:05 pm
I hate being on babysitting duty.

I've been there SO many times, although I confess I may been the one who was baby sat once or twice. If I go to a bar these days, it's at what I call "old man happy hour", which means 2 pm till 3pm or so. When the younger idiots start to show up, that's my cue to leave.


Indeed. When you are among friends, it's the responsibility of each to never leave a soldier behind in the dust. we have all been in that shit-uation. One time, when I was facked right to the gills, they fed me them little pink Pepto-Dismal pills to soothe my stomach. They layed me on a waterbed.

great.

Now my dried out vomit was girlish-colored dust because I was dehydrated even further... Paint the baby room for them!

Side note: did The Oett ever need someone hold up his long hair form the toilet bowl?

Of course, some bastards would simply hold it up with the plunger in one hand and the drink in the other... He's just too damned big to carry outside.

Hey! Protect The Oett. Protect us all.
Waterbed! HA! I had one! It was heated and quite lovely. It didn't have Pepto spew on it though thankfully.

But you are correct sir this was about soldiering up and doing the right thing. Because I didn’t want to leave a stupid lost inebriated woman on the street and let her fend for herself? An obvious no brainer. Of course I look out for fellow drunks but her especially because she didn’t have any comprehension on what she was doing and she was compromising her safety. I think this is above and beyond babysitting however. I fking ADOPTED this chick. And she wasn't even technically a friend but the fact that I invited her into my evening made me culpable. If I was a real babysitter back in the day... I would have demanded extra money.

I guess I'm used to being my own soldier. Perhaps because I'm always alone? I always have this general saying "I can always count on (me)".

It happened the other night. I went to that hotel bar on the 3rd floor and met some friends and I don’t even remember how I got back to my room…but I made it. By myself. In one piece, with all clothes on, without falling down, vomiting, pissing myself, passing out in public, falling down stairs etc. etc. Didn't eat the food in the take out container I brought home from the bar though. It was left on the mini bar unscathed.

But if I did feel the urge to vomit, I woulda held my own hair. In private and without assistance. I’m not a rock star or anything. I just manage to find that moment of composure to pull myself together and make the trek. Save the embarrassing shit for the privacy of my own hotel room. Haha. Not really. I just blacked out.

But seriously for whatever reason, the honorary babysitting roles seem to be handed to me. I don’t know why. Normal drunkard babysitting to me is driving someone home, handing over a bucket to vomit in, and of course the occasional hair holding and tucking them in safely in their beds.

As far as our liebchen Oett goes...he appears to be the type to hold his own hair and be his own soldier as well. And if he does pass out on the sidewalk in front of the world...he would not give a crap as long as the police aren't called. I respect it. But I couldn't do it. Have I put him to bed though for his own good? Oh ja.

So on that note you can all count on me to of course protect the Oett and protect you all as well. Universal babysittin' soldier for drunkards worldwide. I have years of experience not to mention a college degree in it. Just as I know you would do the same for me. Cheers my friends.

So can you hold my hair back now? Ha.
Okole maluna!

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Re: so it happened twice

Post by oettinger »

I remember walking a long distance with a beyond loaded Mr Viking. I wasn`t really babysitting as I too was shitfaced. Yóu just have to balance your falling bodys weight in a counter-wave like thing and e voila Viking only fell like five times. But for this to work you have to weight around the same. We turned into an aclohol fueled 450 pound steamroller that way, almost crushing every flight of chairs full of people sitting outside in front of bars on the sidewalks. Some of those poor bastards are probably traumatized and can never sit outside again.
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Re: so it happened twice

Post by oldsmartskunk »

Sometimes i still see naked mr. Viking in my dreams

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Re: so it happened twice

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oldsmartskunk wrote:
Thu Sep 28, 2017 7:38 am
Sometimes i still see naked mr. Viking in my dreams
Only because you want to.
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Re: so it happened twice

Post by oettinger »

Patchez wrote:
Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:43 pm
oldsmartskunk wrote:
Thu Sep 28, 2017 7:38 am
Sometimes i still see naked mr. Viking in my dreams
Only because you want to.
One eye always open
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Re: so it happened twice

Post by Patchez »

To the OP. Hugh, fuck the peasants. Let them take pics of Drunkard Royalty. They will never come close to really being themselves. They wil fit whatever mold they are poured into.

You be you and be fucking proud.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider

Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice

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