A story from winter

[5-Star]

It was snowing out; probably somewhere around -8 degrees; so not too bad though looking back I probably only thought this because I had been drinking cutty and ginger for several hours before leaving for the nearest LC where I picked up two cans of holsten festbock (8%) and a smirnoff energy drink (this would turn out to be a very bad idea, as I lay in bed all night drunk as hell and incapable of sleep). I shotgunned one of the tallboys; and cracked the other on the train platform. By the time I had reached the next stop and met a friend it was finished (two polish guys on the train seemed pretty impressed) I downed the smirnoff crapola (tasted like candy with extra sugar) and we departed from the train.

As we walked to a bar downtown a homeless man asked me if I had a cigarette (I was smoking a colt for some reason) I gave him one; and he asked me if I had some change to spare with which he could purchase beer, of course I agreed and handed him three dollars then asked "what are you going to buy?" he clearly had not anticipated this question but responded as most homeless folk do with a resounding
"Bow valley strong"
I handed him and extra 50 cents and told him to buy lucky extra and we once again headed in the direction of a microbrew centric pub (tends to fill up with hipsters near the end of the evening though so you must always be on your guard). When we arrived at the pub we had 4-5 pints each and my buddy had a long island iced tea for some reason (you know you like them) after having some nachos I went outside to smoke my pipe and mock some hipsters; at this point I realized that the whole godamned place was filling up with hipsters. I knew there had to be a solution to this problem, so I ordered a 750 of Fin Du Monde and thought about it for a while my friend took a piss. I was on my second Fin Du Monde when I realized two things: that I was becoming increasingly intoxicated, and that I really hate hipsters. My buddy and I both had one quick pint of a really good black pilsner and then decided to hit the nearest liquor store. Before stopping at said liquor store we decided to go to the machs beside it and purchase some 7 up so that we could mix 7 and 7's; inside of the store I bummed a smoke of some douchebag in a deep v neck shirt and demanded some Colombians sell me marijuana despite their insisting that they had none ( I would later run into one of these Colombians stealing PC brand 40's in my local superstore liquor).

We stumbled out of the convenience store only to discover that the liquor store had closed while we where in machs; filled with rage I pissed all over the storefront (what the fuck kind of inner city liquor store closes at 12?). We stumbled aimlessly down the street; only to run into the same Colombians who sold us 20 bucks worth of pot and questioned my manhood after I told them I had never killed anyone. My friend and I proceeded to smoke weed from my tobacco pipe in the middle of the sidewalk; but at some point I dropped my lighter in the snow. Not to be stopped I asked the first homeless man who passed by for a light, he gave me one and I asked him to lead us to the nearest open liquor store. Upon arriving there I bought him a large can of Canadian and myself two of those cute little bottles of rye for the train ride home. While waiting at the train I was accosted by another homeless man who insisted on telling us just how much Jesus loved us; my friend gave him his seven and seven and he demanded we take cigarettes from him. On the ride home I taught some chachi douchebags who had been out at the clubs how to blow smoke rings using my pipe.

[5-Star]

Can this be moved to drinking stories?

I may be drunk

[Resident Asshole]

Unibroue rocks. I didn't know Canada made palatable beer until I had stuff from them.