Me? I like a dark, shadowy bar..

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JamesonWilde
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Re: Me? I like a dark, shadowy bar..

Post by JamesonWilde »

Gonna have to agree. I'm not one for the flashing lights and ridiculously loud music. Unless I'm so plowed that I'm singing at the top of my lungs, in which case I want to be at a party instead of a bar (even then, to hell with flashing lights). Otherwise, give me a dark and somber bar with experienced drunks who are willing to drink their drinks and only engage in conversation if they have something interesting to talk about. None of this prattle about your fucking college major please.

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Re: Me? I like a dark, shadowy bar..

Post by Freddie AppsHero »

Rip Rufus wrote:And dank. You gotta have dank.
I love you.

But seriously, we have a bar here called the Exford Hotel. When it hits a certain hour, they turn down the lights, but what we like to say is that they "turn up the dank".

PFrank

Re: Me? I like a dark, shadowy bar..

Post by PFrank »

The Moe Szyslak-style "dank" comment got me rolling.

Anyway, yah, dark but reasonably clean, mellow, and quiet, is the place to be.

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Re: Me? I like a dark, shadowy bar..

Post by contempt4gravy »

I live around a major college campus and 98% of the bars are shit. They cater to the students with their parents' money. Pop music, weak pours, and obnoxious 18-22 year-olds who wouldn't know class or proper drinking decorum if it bit them on their pampered rumps. I enjoy ogling a tasty college chick as much as the next drunkard, but I don't need to hear her tunelessly scream the lyrics to Lady Gaga or Carly Rae Jepson.

Thankfully, there exists a tiny contingent of dim, wood-paneled establishments that serve as oases of reason in the desert of brightly-lit buffoonery. Jack's Corner Pub, Brewstir's, and Ruby's - along with some other serviceable joints - pour 'em strong and don't ignore you if you aren't young, rich, and beautiful.
Last edited by contempt4gravy on Mon Apr 23, 2012 10:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Me? I like a dark, shadowy bar..

Post by Jollyroger1210 »

Even as a younger member of this board, especially one with drinking habits that would classify me as a Frat Bro, College loser, or drinker of not-super-manly drinks, I too can appreciate a dark bar. Because the less you can see, the less you can see two of.
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Re: Me? I like a dark, shadowy bar..

Post by PFrank »

There is something so wonderfully priceless as sitting in a dark bar, listening to jazz, and nursing a drink. Yes, yes, indeed.

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Re: Me? I like a dark, shadowy bar..

Post by contempt4gravy »

Jollyroger1210 wrote:I too can appreciate a dark bar. Because the less you can see, the less you can see two of.
You are wise beyond your years, sir.
There are those who look upon some of my more unsavory habits and call them the cries for help of a problem drinker. I prefer to think of them as the charming misadventures of a dashing rogue.

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Re: Me? I like a dark, shadowy bar..

Post by coqui_chris »

I feel like two of the most campiest, non-pretentious bars in my current neighborhood and the one I grew up in one township over are the most brightly lit. True story. They also haven't renovated their interiors since ... um ... 1984?

But wait! There's more!

Another bar that was a big favorite of mine just recently repainted the whole establishment. THEN! ... They raised prices!

THEN! They installed spiralling disco lights!

FACT: Oftentimes trendy bars rely on poor lighting and strobes to give the place a Jersey Shore feel. FACT.
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Re: Me? I like a dark, shadowy bar..

Post by jackstraw »

A local, dimly lit, maybe 50 person occupancy joint in the seedier part of town has always been my favorite. A joint where there is no kitchen ,but bringing in Chinese or pizza from the places next door is encouraged. A place where there is only one rest room & the women couldn't care less . A place where I can bring in my
cairn_terrier.jpg
cairn_terrier.jpg (91.06 KiB) Viewed 11560 times
dog and nobody finds it to be a problem- - -in fact they buy him a drink- - a place that has a back door that leads to a small area outside ,where you can smoke- - The jukebox must be loaded with 60,and 70,s classics (with a few of Sinatra,s best)- - -
You know 75% of the clientele, and rarely have to spend more than 20 bucks as rounds are bought for each other all night long.
The bartender organizes softball games and fishing trips along with any other competitive event against the bar down the street- - This same bartender will always ask if " are you here ?"if the phone is for you - -I know cell phones did away with this favor for the most part- - The beer is always cold, and the shot glasses a bigger than normal
The bartender never makes you wait, and calls you a cab when necessary - You can pay them back later-

A place where the women are friendly but not whores(remember this is local, & you probably live very close)- - I could think of a few more things but as long as the glasses are relativity clean & it closes the doors at 3am** (the doors not the bar) this is more or less the joints I frequent- - 1 in Connecticut(Ernie's) >1 in the Bronx(Mr.Viggs) - - No need to search , it wastes drinking time
ch-ch-ch-cheers

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Re: Me? I like a dark, shadowy bar..

Post by Palinka (RIP) »

Dr. Dotto S. Blotto wrote:I think this begs the question of where to post "My Least Favorite Bar."
First thread in this forum.

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Re: Me? I like a dark, shadowy bar..

Post by Casual Binger »

Freddie AppsHero wrote:
Rip Rufus wrote:And dank. You gotta have dank.
I love you.

But seriously, we have a bar here called the Exford Hotel. When it hits a certain hour, they turn down the lights, but what we like to say is that they "turn up the dank".
I don't wanna be a smart-arse here, but dank has nothing to do with dark. Hence the phrase dark & dank. Dank means unpleasantly moist or wet. I think the key is unpleasant. I like dark bars. I like cold bars when it's hot outside. I like warm bars when it's cold outside. I don't like dank anytime.

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Re: Me? I like a dark, shadowy bar..

Post by mistah willies »

Them youngsters talk about smoking some Dank. When I was a kid, I didn't smoke Dank. Nope. Back then, it was slang for:

a. (noun) mean spirited person, "Boy what a fucking Dank, he kept all my change and took half the beers"

b. (male appendage): penis

This old thread was a good one the first time I read it. There was another one about dive bars that was pretty good, if memory serves. I think the idea of the Dank in this case was that it hinted at moisture, the way the smell of cellars and fungus and mildew can bring depth to the seedy bar experience. A dank bar has things growing in the corners.




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Re: Me? I like a dark, shadowy bar..

Post by Casual Binger »

mistah willies wrote:I think the idea of the Dank in this case was that it hinted at moisture, the way the smell of cellars and fungus and mildew can bring depth to the seedy bar experience. A dank bar has things growing in the corners.
I get it. I was thinking Moe's Tavern would be literally dank. - with rotten carpet & clammy air. A seasoned atmosphere I can appreciate. The odors of stained wood & cracked leather mixed in with the spilled beer & stale smoke. A place that feels lived in, where generations have made themselves at home & let down their hair.

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Re: Me? I like a dark, shadowy bar..

Post by oettinger »

Don`t forget the barstools are seemingly glued to the floor, only the strongest of us manage to move one of these things.

but be prepared to be confronted later that night by a regular of 25 years, asking who moved his "spot on bar"
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Re: Me? I like a dark, shadowy bar..

Post by AntonArkydivich »

jackstraw wrote:A local, dimly lit, maybe 50 person occupancy joint in the seedier part of town has always been my favorite. A joint where there is no kitchen ,but bringing in Chinese or pizza from the places next door is encouraged. A place where there is only one rest room & the women couldn't care less . A place where I can bring in my
cairn_terrier.jpg
dog and nobody finds it to be a problem- - -in fact they buy him a drink- - a place that has a back door that leads to a small area outside ,where you can smoke- - The jukebox must be loaded with 60,and 70,s classics (with a few of Sinatra,s best)- - -
You know 75% of the clientele, and rarely have to spend more than 20 bucks as rounds are bought for each other all night long.
The bartender organizes softball games and fishing trips along with any other competitive event against the bar down the street- - This same bartender will always ask if " are you here ?"if the phone is for you - -I know cell phones did away with this favor for the most part- - The beer is always cold, and the shot glasses a bigger than normal
The bartender never makes you wait, and calls you a cab when necessary - You can pay them back later-

A place where the women are friendly but not whores(remember this is local, & you probably live very close)- - I could think of a few more things but as long as the glasses are relativity clean & it closes the doors at 3am** (the doors not the bar) this is more or less the joints I frequent- - 1 in Connecticut(Ernie's) >1 in the Bronx(Mr.Viggs) - - No need to search , it wastes drinking time
ch-ch-ch-cheers
I love it. I also love the concept of having a bar open till 3 or 4 AM. Makes for more of a "night" and less of a "Oh s--t! Last call is in 20 minutes and I'm still half-undrunk! Chug!"

Got a bar down the street from me called the Glo Room. It's been open since Orange County was mostly orange groves--and hasn't changed a bit. It's the closest thing I've felt to "home" since I came to California. There's four bartenders who've been there for years. Everybody knows everybody. Half of the younger regulars drink there because their parents drank there. If they like you, you're immediately family. If they don't, God help you.

64 oz. pitchers run $8, and they usually fill your glass along with the pitcher. Cash only. Until this year, the only beer on tap was Bud and Bud Lite (they now serve Shock Top as well).

The "prime time" bartender goes by "K." She's a little Vietnamese woman, mid-60's, looks 40, and can drink grown, blue collar men under the table and out the door. Even seasoned veterans can only understand half of what she says, but she's got a quick laugh and an easy demeanor. I have never walked away from her bar without a free pitcher or round of shots for my friends. If my wife is there, it's even better, because damn it all, but K freaking loves my wife (and vice versa).

The Glo Room is the epitome of what Roger Cambria was talking about in The Rise of the Dives (http://drunkard.com/issues/06_06/06_06_ ... dives.html). It's seedy enough to be a turn off to the "hipster" crowd, but if you're sincere and down to earth, that's good enough for them. It's a distraction, an occasion, a place to talk or to brood. Dishwashers and drunks, businessmen and bums, all share in the same drinks and the same come-as-you-are atmosphere.

One story before this turns into an essay (and it could very easily be a book):

I was drinking there with my wife (then girlfriend) on a Tuesday night. It was a small crowd, maybe eight of us. We had only been frequenting the place for a couple months, but I knew everyone by sight, if not by name. It was around 1 AM, when a man, visibly confused, walks into the bar, and lays down under the pool table. Initially, no one noticed, but eventually, one of the regulars, Frank, saw his boot. He woke him up, pulled him out under the table, and helped him to his feet. He proceeded to put an arm around him, and help him outside.

Twenty minutes later, the incident repeated itself. After another twenty minutes, the same thing occurred, and K, who was behind the bar, started to get frustrated. Frank explained to me that the man, whose name was Jerry, was in the final stages of Alzheimer's. He was checked into the VA, but kept leaving, bumming rides or walking, to come back to the Glo Room. He hardly remembered anyone, but he kept coming back. They couldn't get him to stay away. He couldn't tell you his name, but the Glo Room was the one thing that clung on

Frank, a grizzled, retired oil worker, explained to me with tears in his eyes that he'd known Jerry for 30 years. When someone made the mention of calling the police to take him back to the VA, Frank turned on him and explained in no unclear terms the Jerry was his friend, and there was no way in Hell he was going to call the cops on his friend, even if he didn't remember him.

No one was fit to drive that night, so I ended up giving Jerry a ride back to the VA. I had work early the next morning, but it didn't matter. Jerry didn't say a word the whole time. He just slept in the back seat.

At the risk of being serious and/or preachy, there is a poem by William Blake, that has the lines,

But if at the Church they would give us some ale,
And a pleasant fire our souls to regale,
We’d sing and we’d pray all the livelong day,
Nor ever once wish from the Church to stray.
...
And God, like a father, rejoicing to see
His children as pleasant and happy as He,
Would have no more quarrel with the Devil or the barrel,
But kiss him, and give him both drink and apparel.


So for me, there's nothing wrong with a good sports bar or dance club. College bars are great and fine, and a sophisticated cocktail lounge is nothing to disdain. But if you're ever in my neck of the woods, you can find me at a dingy, dark dive called the Glo Room, surrounded by folks 20, 30, and 40 years older than me, who treat me like they've known me since Orange County was mostly orange groves. And if you stop by, the first round's on me, the second's on you, and I'm sure we can talk K into buying the third.

I'm sure everyone else has a place like this, or has been to one; I just kept writing and writing trying to do it some measure of justice. Apologies to all for the exceedingly long sermon.
Making my own city lights out of bourbon and the stars of a barroom fight.
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