Offensive bar jokes

[Catroaster]

Back in the days of the British Empire, a Colonel was inspecting a field hospital.

He goes up to a soldier in the first room and asks "What's wrong with you, Private?" "Dysentry, Sir!" "What's the treatment?" "Wire brush, sir, to the affected place, sir, three times a day, sir" "And your ambition?" "To get well, sir, to serve the Queen and Country, sir!".He goes up to a soldier in the second room and asks "What's wrong with you, Private?" "Syphillis, Sir!" "What's the treatment?" "Wire brush, sir, to the affected place, sir, three times a day, sir" "And your ambition?" "To get well, sir, to serve the Queen and Country, sir!".Finally. he goes up to a soldier in the third room and asks "What's wrong with you, Private?" "Sore throat, Sir!" "What's the treatment?" "Wire brush, sir, to the affected place, sir, three times a day, sir" "And your ambition?" "To be first with the wire brush, sir!"

[BeerMakesMeSmart]

What's worse than reindeer peeing on your roof? Santa Claus coming down your chimney.

[mistah willies]

Daniel Craig.




I mean, his joke, to wit:


"What's the most disgusting thing you can think of?

Shoving five oysters up your grandmother's cunt and sucking out six."

[jackstraw]

A little boy asked his mother:
- Mummy, why are you white and I am black?
- Don’t even ask me that, > I remember that party..., your lucky that you don’t bark.

[Backbone Robby Bobby]

Me: -How do you do? I'm new in town. May I please ask what you drink 'round here?
Bartender: -Well we make great cocktails.
Me: -I'm not gay nor Japanese. I don't drink cocktails.

[Backbone Robby Bobby]

-Daddy, if women ruled the world would there be peace on earth?
-Of course. There would just be countries rolling their eyes to eachothers.

[Hugh]

-Daddy, if women ruled the world would there be peace on earth?
-Of course. There would just be countries rolling their eyes to eachothers.

Hey where is the fuck you pic with the Confederate Battle Flag? Put that thing back on!

[Stendhal]

Yes, bring back the stars and bars pic. Also, since you are a fan of country music Robby Bobby, you have got to start listening to George Jones, Waylon Jennings, Willie Nelson, and David Allan Coe.

[Backbone Robby Bobby]

-Daddy, if women ruled the world would there be peace on earth?
-Of course. There would just be countries rolling their eyes to eachothers.

Hey where is the fuck you pic with the Confederate Battle Flag? Put that thing back on!

How is it going Hugh? Most certainly. I put it back.
I see the confederate flag as a rallying for rock'n roll music VS DJs. It all started in the South with Little Richard, Georgia, Jerry Lee Lewis, Louisiana (Killer still with us!) and Elvis, Mississipi. Country and blues made a baby and we call it rock'n roll!

[Backbone Robby Bobby]

Yes, bring back the stars and bars pic. Also, since you are a fan of country music Robby Bobby, you have got to start listening to George Jones, Waylon Jennings, Willie Nelson, and David Allan Coe.

Hello Stendahl (the French author?). I know and listen to all those fiiiiine (southern drawl) outlaws. It's just that I'm not systematically against the new talents from Nashville. Fuck Pop country of course, but once in a while you have good new stuff too.

[Backbone Robby Bobby]