Ron White the comedian has many-a-drunken quotes worthy of mention. My favorite is of course the track on his "Drunk in Public" tour entitled "I drink too much"
He just states plainly "I drink too much." "Other people learn things when I drink..." "Last night, my limo driver learned that if I say I gotta yack, it don't mean I got a hairy buffalo livin' in my back yard!"
Limo driver, "What's it eat?"
Ron, "CORN!"
This guy is great for drunk humor, and he also drinks like a fish. Very worth checking out if you haven't heard/seen him on Comedy Central. I just saw him live at the Lakeland Center here in Florida. good stuff!
Ron White (blue collar comedian)
Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator
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- Booze Head
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air plane crash
Another funny Ron White moment is when he's talking about being on a little shitty airplane, and he's talking about how he dosen't care since he has been drinking since lunch.
The plane starts to loose some oil, so they have to go back to the airport. Ron says "Take it down, i don't care. Just hit somethin' hard I don't wanna walk away from this son-of-a-bitch!"
The plane starts to loose some oil, so they have to go back to the airport. Ron says "Take it down, i don't care. Just hit somethin' hard I don't wanna walk away from this son-of-a-bitch!"
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"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! I was drunk in a bar! They, threw me into public-KA! I don't want to be drunk in public! I wanna be drunk in a bar, which is perfectly legal! Arrest them!" He didn't arrest them, instead he had me do a field undrunkenness check, where you stand on one foot, raise the other foot six inches off the ground, and count to thirty. I made it to "woo!"
That may have been where they got me on my DWI
That may have been where they got me on my DWI
"I hope you like Guinness, I find it a refreshing substitute to... food."
- O'Neill
If I stop drinking all at once, I'm afraid the cumulative hangover will kill me.
- Archer
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I saw him when he came to Augusta last Augusta he started off with:
"I want y'all to know I've invented a new drinking game. Whatchya do is rent a limo, load it up with friends and booze. Then drive around I-285 in Atlanta and take a shot everytime you see the word 'Waffle'."
"I want y'all to know I've invented a new drinking game. Whatchya do is rent a limo, load it up with friends and booze. Then drive around I-285 in Atlanta and take a shot everytime you see the word 'Waffle'."
"Preacher! Go on down and get me some bourbon. J. T. S. Brown. No ice, no glass."
- Paul Newman, The Hustler
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/141203 ... F8&s=books
- Paul Newman, The Hustler
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/141203 ... F8&s=books
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- Drinking Like W.C.
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Christ, you can be drunk in fifteen minutes around there!Rowdydrunk79 wrote:I saw him when he came to Augusta last Augusta he started off with:
"I want y'all to know I've invented a new drinking game. Whatchya do is rent a limo, load it up with friends and booze. Then drive around I-285 in Atlanta and take a shot everytime you see the word 'Waffle'."
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I once drove around 285 several years ago on Cinco de Mayo. That was a longer ride than I expected. Thank goodness for circles. I finally recognized something.Tipsy McStagger wrote:Christ, you can be drunk in fifteen minutes around there!Rowdydrunk79 wrote:I saw him when he came to Augusta last Augusta he started off with:
"I want y'all to know I've invented a new drinking game. Whatchya do is rent a limo, load it up with friends and booze. Then drive around I-285 in Atlanta and take a shot everytime you see the word 'Waffle'."
"next time i bust a load on the road, i'll try and save you a brick. " - Casino
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i bet we'll beat the ambulances by a half hour!"Take it down, i don't care. Just hit somethin' hard I don't wanna walk away from this son-of-a-bitch!"
“I believe if life gives you lemons make lemonade…then find someone that life gave vodka to and have a party.”
I think Ive turned a corner I beat the shit out of some kids today But it was for a purpose It made me feel good about myself It was like I did something constructive with my life or something I dunno like I accomplished something
[quote=“I believe if life gives you lemons make lemonade…then find someone that life gave vodka to and have a party.”[/quote] Was my favorite from his routine
"I always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of a snakebite. Further more, I always carry a small snake" F. Scott Fitzgerald
"Moderation is a fatal thing - nothing succeeds like excess" Oscar Wilde
http://www.myspace.com/2echos
"Moderation is a fatal thing - nothing succeeds like excess" Oscar Wilde
http://www.myspace.com/2echos
holy f'in shit asin it strange when you find post thet the your habe tno recolection of putin up.. and seein it secer monthes laterRumpelstiltskin wrote:i bet we'll beat the ambulances by a half hour!"Take it down, i don't care. Just hit somethin' hard I don't wanna walk away from this son-of-a-bitch!"
“I believe if life gives you lemons make lemonade…then find someone that life gave vodka to and have a party.”
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