Drinking Toasts to remember

Post your favorite quips of wino wisdom here.

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Slim
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Slim »

To the conquest of Sicily!

Crowd responds with sluured and boisterous: Sicily!

Sorry, I just revisited Patton.
Image

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One for the Frog
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by One for the Frog »

I have to come up with a "toast" story as Dr. P. told me years ago. He was boozing out with a Finn:
Padraig (raising glass): "Cheers!"
Finnish guy (shout, shocked): "ARE WE DRINKING, OR TALKING???"

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Surreal
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Surreal »

Short, sweet and right to the point:

"Here's to the cars we love and the women we wreck".

-Surreal McCoy
fuck em man, it ain't easy walkin the righteous path.
- Hoss

aixguy82
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by aixguy82 »

Sugar in Bowl Coffee in a cup, stick her in the butt you won't knock her up.

In the words of winney the pooh always eat your Honey

ivan
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by ivan »

"While we live, let's live"
nic the chick wrote:ivan and casino are right.

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Captain Tim
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Captain Tim »

New Year's Toast

Another day, another bender
No retreat and no surrender
While tomorrow, we'll try to remember
What to forget this day in December.

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Hardcore Stig
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Hardcore Stig »

Forgive me father...for what I'm about to do.
"That's only a problem if you stop drinking"

"Nationality? I'm a drunkard, and that makes me a man of the world"

"The word "pub" should never need to be followed by the word "why""

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old crow
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by old crow »

i usually just say "yo HERE'S TO ALL THAT SHIT"

EGad987
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by EGad987 »

Here's to the girl who gave me this,
It hurts each time I take a piss.
But if she's around when I get well,
I'll get it again, sure as hell.



Here's to the breezes,
that blow through the treeses,
and blow the skirts off young girls kneeses.
Which often leads to sights that pleases,
but more often leads to social diseases.

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Negromancer
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Negromancer »

HAHAHA!
"The best drink of the day, was the drink he had in his head before the first drink of the day."

mikepsmith1
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by mikepsmith1 »

One martini is alright, two is too many, three is not enough.

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Bluespook
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Bluespook »

Some of these need modifying if you don't live in illinois

We the boys from illinois
We live in caves and ditches
We bang our cocks on jagged rocks
We're mean sons of bitches

We The boys from illinois
We live in caves and ditches
We wipe our ass with broken glass
And laugh because it itches


If the ocean were whiskey and i were a duck
I'd swim to the bottom and drink my way up
but the ocean's not whiskey and i'm not a duck
so pass me the bottle and shut the fuck up.
Beer's just being social. Whiskey's drinkin'.

Patrick9110
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Patrick9110 »

To the Bitches we've met, and the Bitches we've fucked
And Those amungst us who've had no such luck
To the beer in the glass, and the vodka in the cup
To poking her in the ass, so she don't get knocked up
Here's to you and here's to me
Best of friend we'll always be
But if we ever disagree
Then fuck all of you heres to me!

- Tucker Max

billygoatcurse
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by billygoatcurse »

heard a good one a while back while boozing in a small, seedy bar. some guy is standing up at the bar, puts his hand on his buddy's shoulder and says "ladies and gentleman, please raise your glasses for Mike, he found out some incredible life altering news today and would like to share it with everyone" mike stands up and says "I AM NOT THE FATHER! YEAHH!" never knew a bar could turn into a Maury Povich episode, but it was quite entertaining.
"IT'S A CAT & MOUSE TYPE DEAL" - Duane Hampel's explanation for everything.

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Uncle Gary
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Re: Drinking Toasts to remember

Post by Uncle Gary »

Some Guinness was spilt on the bar room floor,
when the pub was closed for the night.
Out of his hole crept a wee brown mouse,
and he stood in the pale moonlight.
He lapped up the frothy foam from the floor,
then back on his haunches he sat.
All night long you could hear the mouse roar,
"Bring on the God Damn CAT!!!"
No friend ever served me, and no enemy ever wronged me, whom I have not repaid in full. -- Sulla's Epitaph

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