Lads, you'll sleep enough when you're dead and buried. You have to get out on the streets. You have to talk to a stranger. Drink a beer for breakfast. Take the ugliest girl home from the party. -Billy the Irish guy
If I wanted to listen to people yammer on about thier lives I'd be at my AA meeting. -Janitor
Listen up there scrub brush- As a fellow abusive drinker you are honor bound by barstool ettiquette to sit there and listen to every word I have to say. -Dr. Cox
It's weird, I mean, I want to follow him down the hall and crack him over the head but I'm so drunk right now I know I'll collapse if I even move an inch. -Janitor
Still, even if you end up with a hangover that would slay a walrus it was all worth it... -J.D.
... I'm still a little buzzed from breakfast. -Janitor
We'll be at the playground drinking beer. God we love beer. -Dr. Cox
Scrubs
Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator
- Mallory Knox
- King Cockeyed
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Clickety-Click...
For those of you that aren't familiar, you can view every episode here.
For those of you that aren't familiar, you can view every episode here.
ivan wrote:Bring it! You foe me, and I'll make brilliant posts that you won't see!
Along with a bunch of other shows! How cool -- thanks for that Mallory!Mallory Knox wrote:Clickety-Click...
For those of you that aren't familiar, you can view every episode here.
- Mallory Knox
- King Cockeyed
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- Chugging Like Churchill
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Quotes you fucking retreads not info exchange!
Carla: What do you do when you get scared?
Dr. Cox: Run away, get a divorce, drink alone... You know, the classics.
Carla: What do you do when you get scared?
Dr. Cox: Run away, get a divorce, drink alone... You know, the classics.
I can't write like Papa, you know I just ain't able
But if he came in here tonight, I'd drink him under the table -Ronny Elliott
RIP Mayhem, as long as I have a heart you are in it.
But if he came in here tonight, I'd drink him under the table -Ronny Elliott
RIP Mayhem, as long as I have a heart you are in it.
- Mallory Knox
- King Cockeyed
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Kevin Turk: What am I supposed to do until then?
Chris Turk: Barkeep. I'm a need these two glasses, and that bottle of whiskey! -'scuse me? Miss? my brother DEFINITELY needs to borrow your hat. And - for the love of all that is holy- will somebody please! PLAY ME SOME COUNTRY!!
Chris Turk: Barkeep. I'm a need these two glasses, and that bottle of whiskey! -'scuse me? Miss? my brother DEFINITELY needs to borrow your hat. And - for the love of all that is holy- will somebody please! PLAY ME SOME COUNTRY!!
The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.
GFYCMD- Go Fuck Yourself, Captain Mike Davis.
GFYCMD- Go Fuck Yourself, Captain Mike Davis.
Perry to his 2 year old son: Sorry Jack. The machine's broken. Looks like you're gonna have to guzzle your juice down without any ice. Pretend, um... you know, pretend it's Gin.
The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.
GFYCMD- Go Fuck Yourself, Captain Mike Davis.
GFYCMD- Go Fuck Yourself, Captain Mike Davis.
- White Lightning
- Lord of Benders
- Posts: 204
- Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 9:25 pm
- Location: Texan in DC
- White Lightning
- Lord of Benders
- Posts: 204
- Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2004 9:25 pm
- Location: Texan in DC
JD: Maybe he just needed time to heal, or maybe he just needed to see how much everybody cared. But I'd like to believe that it was because of me that he was finally able to say this:
Dr Cox: You don't drink scotch
(This is followed by JD spitting out what I can only imagine is VERY good Scotch.)
Jack: Daddy drinks a lot.
Jordan: His first complete sentence. Fantastic.
Dr Cox: You don't drink scotch
(This is followed by JD spitting out what I can only imagine is VERY good Scotch.)
Jack: Daddy drinks a lot.
Jordan: His first complete sentence. Fantastic.
As I lie in bed each morning and ask myself why I should put both my feet on the floor there are precious few reasons I've been able to come up with. The chance to escape Jordan's morning breath, sure. Scotch. It's too early to drink but people it is *never* to early to think about it. And of course the ever present possibility that I might finally happen upon Hugh Jackman and be able to give him the present I've been holding for him. BAM! - Dr. Cox
Thanks man, you were really impressive in the shower this morning. You know, dong-wise. - The Todd
Well that's the reason why you headache won't go away. That's pronounce analgesic, not anal-gesic. Sir, the pills go in your mouth. - Turk
Dr. Cox: Uh, Carla, have you, uh, have you seen Newbie?
Carla: Oh, he got off your leash?
Dr. Cox: Give me a break. The kid's like... he's like a... have you ever seen a drunk baby? Eh, it's a long story involving my son, a rum cake, and a low counter. Suffice to say, it turns out that, at first, it's... it's endearing to watch them bounce off of the walls, but man... you take your eyes off them for one second...and BAM! They've got a bucket on their head, and they're plowing right through your brand new flat screen TV. God save me, it was barely out of the box. The point is Newbie is my drunk baby.
Thanks man, you were really impressive in the shower this morning. You know, dong-wise. - The Todd
Well that's the reason why you headache won't go away. That's pronounce analgesic, not anal-gesic. Sir, the pills go in your mouth. - Turk
Dr. Cox: Uh, Carla, have you, uh, have you seen Newbie?
Carla: Oh, he got off your leash?
Dr. Cox: Give me a break. The kid's like... he's like a... have you ever seen a drunk baby? Eh, it's a long story involving my son, a rum cake, and a low counter. Suffice to say, it turns out that, at first, it's... it's endearing to watch them bounce off of the walls, but man... you take your eyes off them for one second...and BAM! They've got a bucket on their head, and they're plowing right through your brand new flat screen TV. God save me, it was barely out of the box. The point is Newbie is my drunk baby.
"Spiny norman wins on the bizzare terror stakes, if you haven't been stared at by a 40-foot hedgehog, you haven't lived." - Saltandgin
"Every time you don't get loaded, the terrorists win." - massivedrunk
WWDJFD?
"Every time you don't get loaded, the terrorists win." - massivedrunk
WWDJFD?
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- Chugging Like Churchill
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- Location: Buffalo, MN
- Contact:
J.D.: Ah, uncomfortable silences and alcohol. Just like thanksgiving at home.
[After J.D. is assigned to introduce Dr. Kelso at an awarding ceremony]
Dr. Cox: You are officially trapped.
J.D.: I'll just say something nice about him that's actually true.
Dr. Cox: You go do that, and I'll go find God, quit drinking, get in touch with myself emotionally, and we'll meet right back here at half past impossible, mm'kay?
[While cleaning up after a party for old gay men]
J.D.: Ooh, appletini! When did they start drinking straight guy drinks?
Janitor: We're at war, my friend. All American flags are on backorder. What do you want me to do in the meantime? Run a pirate flag up there? Maybe turn the whole building into a pirate ship? I could put a captain's wheel up on the roof. Catch a parrot somehow, slap on an eye patch, go to work with a caulk gun, seal her up, make her watertight. I could take her out to sea.
J.D.: Are you insane?
Janitor: No. I'm a pirate.
Kim: Well, we still haven't mentioned the A-word...
J.D.: Appletinis... I thought we should discuss abortion over appletinis.
Janitor: I converted to the Norse religion a while back. It just makes sense.
[After J.D. is assigned to introduce Dr. Kelso at an awarding ceremony]
Dr. Cox: You are officially trapped.
J.D.: I'll just say something nice about him that's actually true.
Dr. Cox: You go do that, and I'll go find God, quit drinking, get in touch with myself emotionally, and we'll meet right back here at half past impossible, mm'kay?
[While cleaning up after a party for old gay men]
J.D.: Ooh, appletini! When did they start drinking straight guy drinks?
Janitor: We're at war, my friend. All American flags are on backorder. What do you want me to do in the meantime? Run a pirate flag up there? Maybe turn the whole building into a pirate ship? I could put a captain's wheel up on the roof. Catch a parrot somehow, slap on an eye patch, go to work with a caulk gun, seal her up, make her watertight. I could take her out to sea.
J.D.: Are you insane?
Janitor: No. I'm a pirate.
Kim: Well, we still haven't mentioned the A-word...
J.D.: Appletinis... I thought we should discuss abortion over appletinis.
Janitor: I converted to the Norse religion a while back. It just makes sense.
I can't write like Papa, you know I just ain't able
But if he came in here tonight, I'd drink him under the table -Ronny Elliott
RIP Mayhem, as long as I have a heart you are in it.
But if he came in here tonight, I'd drink him under the table -Ronny Elliott
RIP Mayhem, as long as I have a heart you are in it.