What should I do?

The Goat · Post by **The Goat** » Tue Jun 07, 2011 6:59 am

I have been out of college for a year now and working temporary jobs on and off. I am about to start on a campaign that will last until November, but I can't keep living in my parents' house making scraps and being dependent on them. I have also been going through the Peace Corps selection process. In the meantime, I have fallen in love with my girlfriend of about 5 months. I know that the Peace Corps is the best thing right now for me in terms of work experience, future prospects and financial security, but I can't bear the thought of being away from her for 2 years. I know she loves me and wants me to be happy and do what I want, but I know deep down inside she wants me to stay. It would be the ultimate test of our love if I went through with this, but it terrifies me that I might lose her. On the other hand, I think Peace Corps will be great for us. Not only will our relationship be stronger because we will make it work, but in the end I will be independent and be given opportunities for starting a life that I wouldn't have if I didn't do this. It seems counterintuitive, but after 2 years of being away from each other, I think we would be better set to spend the rest of our lives together. What do you all think?

peetie44 · Post by **peetie44** » Tue Jun 07, 2011 7:55 am

The Goat wrote:I have been out of college for a year now and working temporary jobs on and off. I am about to start on a campaign that will last until November, but I can't keep living in my parents' house making scraps and being dependent on them. I have also been going through the Peace Corps selection process. In the meantime, I have fallen in love with my girlfriend of about 5 months. I know that the Peace Corps is the best thing right now for me in terms of work experience, future prospects and financial security, but I can't bear the thought of being away from her for 2 years. I know she loves me and wants me to be happy and do what I want, but I know deep down inside she wants me to stay. It would be the ultimate test of our love if I went through with this, but it terrifies me that I might lose her. On the other hand, I think Peace Corps will be great for us. Not only will our relationship be stronger because we will make it work, but in the end I will be independent and be given opportunities for starting a life that I wouldn't have if I didn't do this. It seems counterintuitive, but after 2 years of being away from each other, I think we would be better set to spend the rest of our lives together. What do you all think?

From what you've written, the Peace Corp seems to provide you a positive direction which gets you out of your folks' house and into the world. That's a plus. But the 2-year separation from your girlfriend is a definite roll-of-the-dice, relationship-wise, and might be a problem. As a traveling musician, I've been involved in separated, long-distance relationships and they can work but they do require sacrifice and commitment by both people.

IMHO, you and your girlfriend need to sit down and thoroughly discuss the situation, both of you together, considering what it means from three points of view; from your personal perspective, from her personal perspective and from the common-ground perspective of how the two of you, as a couple, see your relationship progressing. If there's enough common ground in how you both view these various factors, it should work out. But, as in all of life, there really are no guarantees.

Best of luck with this and CHEERS!

The Goat · Post by **The Goat** » Tue Jun 07, 2011 2:35 pm

Thanks!

BBoozer · Post by **BBoozer** » Wed Jun 08, 2011 3:21 am

What's your college degree?

BBoozer · Post by **BBoozer** » Wed Jun 08, 2011 3:30 am

OK, re-reading your post I guess you didn't finish college. In my experience, and I've had two, long-distance relationships are very tough. If you are serious about this girl, I would rather start a project (obtaining that college degree after all?) that you both support. Look at where you want to be five or ten years from now. And during this exercise, be really honest. You may want to pursue a carreer in business, you may want to become an artist. It really doesn't matter. As long as you and your girlfriend stand behand you plan. After all, she should be your soulmate.

The Goat · Post by **The Goat** » Wed Jun 08, 2011 8:10 am

No I guess I wasn't clear. I graduated from college a year ago. I have a degree in history. A college degree is a requirement for joining the Peace Corps.

Resident Asshole · Post by **Resident Asshole** » Wed Jun 08, 2011 8:54 am

Personally I can't stand long-term relationships and neither can my girl, we both like sex too much. But, to each his own.

BBoozer · Post by **BBoozer** » Wed Jun 08, 2011 9:00 am

The Goat wrote:No I guess I wasn't clear. I graduated from college a year ago. I have a degree in history. A college degree is a requirement for joining the Peace Corps.

IMHO, get a job, go live with your girlfriend. Long-distance relationships don't last for long. If you love her, and you have a degree in history, teach or write. If you don't love her, ditch her, and make money and find another girl.

Wingman · Post by **Wingman** » Wed Jun 08, 2011 2:32 pm

BBoozer wrote: If you don't love her, ditch her, and make money and find another girl.

or, ditch her and join the peace corps.

had a lover, not exclusive, who joined the peace corps. she loved it, slept around a lot. by her reports, it's not an experience easy for long-distance relationships to survive. you probably won't be able to skype her every day, for instance, or call regularly, etc.

Frankennietzsche · Post by **Frankennietzsche** » Fri Jun 10, 2011 9:28 pm

Here's an perspective on it:
You have really one big choice; whether or not to join the Peace Corps. And that seems to hinge on staying with this female and/or being in a long distance relationship, as in, will it work.
If you join the PC, the long distance relationship may or may not work out. If you don't go, the relationship may or may not work out.
If you join the PC, you will always have the experience of having been in. If you don't, you won't. And you may regret it, and that regret may turn into blame, und so weit.
You only have a limited time to join the PC under normal circumstaces, I believe. You have the rest of your life to have relationships. Really, if you look at it one way, that is all that life is in a sence.
Whatever. Join the peace corps.

TheBigCasino · Post by **TheBigCasino** » Sat Jun 11, 2011 1:24 am

The Goat wrote:I have been out of college for a year now and working temporary jobs on and off. I am about to start on a campaign that will last until November, but I can't keep living in my parents' house making scraps and being dependent on them. I have also been going through the Peace Corps selection process. In the meantime, I have fallen in love with my girlfriend of about 5 months. I know that the Peace Corps is the best thing right now for me in terms of work experience, future prospects and financial security, but I can't bear the thought of being away from her for 2 years. I know she loves me and wants me to be happy and do what I want, but I know deep down inside she wants me to stay. It would be the ultimate test of our love if I went through with this, but it terrifies me that I might lose her. On the other hand, I think Peace Corps will be great for us. Not only will our relationship be stronger because we will make it work, but in the end I will be independent and be given opportunities for starting a life that I wouldn't have if I didn't do this. It seems counterintuitive, but after 2 years of being away from each other, I think we would be better set to spend the rest of our lives together. What do you all think?

I'm as much as a romantic as anybody, but I have to say this. Follow your head, not your heart. If you two are really in love, you'll find a way no matter what path you choose.

peetie44 · Post by **peetie44** » Sat Jun 11, 2011 4:52 am

For what it's worth:

In @36yrs of international travel, I've met and talked to more than a few former Peace Corps members; usually on airplanes, occasionally at music shows. If we talked about their service, I would always get around to asking them, if they had the choice to make over, would they still choose to join the PC? Everyone said yes and that they would not trade the experience for anything.

DeeboCools · Post by **DeeboCools** » Sun Jun 12, 2011 7:00 am

I'd say aim lower and stay with your girlfriend. It's more important to love than to "do the right thing". No shame in being a loser like me.

The Goat · Post by **The Goat** » Sun Jun 12, 2011 4:15 pm

Thanks to everyone who has responded so far. Keep it coming!

JohnnyT · Post by **JohnnyT** » Sun Jun 12, 2011 5:48 pm

hay guyz, whats going on in this thread?

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