Ants

[Savage]

For some days now, we've suffered temperatures well over 100 degrees. The pest control people came to our door. We declined their services. Lo and behold, we are suddenly inundated with hordes of biting ants. This seems to happen every time the exterminators visit to solicit. Strange. The ants are tiny, black, and incredibly fast. They ate my bran muffins. I was not happy about that. They crawl up my arms when I am typing, and bite my elbows. At the worst of it, I try to remember that ants are better than cockroaches, particularily the four inch long, hairy- chested winged cockroaches we had on The Rock, the ones who said, "You wanna start something, roundeye?" (in the voice of Don LaFontaine.)

[John Barleycorn]

They must have sprayed around your house to drive them inside because you didn't pay up.

[Miklo]

same thing happend to me, only the ants didnt make it inside. outside though it looked like the ground was moving there was so many of them. i killed em with my "home defense" i got from home depot. i hate those fuckers selling shit from door to door, they always play my wife for a sucker, then i gotta come be an asshole becasue they wont take no for an answer.

[BBoozer]

Since our new neighbours moved in (white trash - Savage, I sympathize with you) our yard is infested with earwigs. Is it a coincidence? I don't think so.

[ThirstyDrunk]

[Rumhead]

They must have sprayed around your house to drive them inside because you didn't pay up.

Bingo.

[ThirstyDrunk]

They have boxes of trained ants. Millions. They sit around all day and train ants to go in peoples houses. and eat muffins

[BBoozer]

They have boxes of trained ants. Millions. They sit around all day and train ants to go in peoples houses. and eat muffins

Indeed, and now they're using genetic engineering to create a new race of ANTS THAT WILL DRINK YOUR BOURBON!

[Savage]

Damn it! I knew it!

And even as I type, random ants are crawling on my arms. I kill them, but I refuse to feel bad about it.

[Wingman]

if ants drank my bourbon, i'm pretty sure i'd eat those ants.











yep.

[Mr Boozificator]

They have boxes of trained ants. Millions. They sit around all day and train ants to go in peoples houses. and eat muffins

Somebody clearly stole my evil plan number 4 and is using it without paying royalties.

[booznik]

..."You wanna start something, roundeye?" (in the voice of Don LaFontaine.)

Since thread resurrection seems to be the order of the day...

He died a while back, in 2008 actually, but IN A WORLD where there's a search function, here's the man himself.

Don LaFontaine

Living where you do, Lady S., I've had some insane ant infestations myself. This stuff works. The only problem is, it's delayed reaction. It may take a week before they're gone.

Luckily, they were only crawling on the window sill, not on me.

[oettinger]

Where in the freaking hell did you dig out this threat booznik? In germany people who do this more than twice a month go to jail!
And now would you please put that head atop it`s original owner`s body. This isn`t lego or transformers

On topic, since they are draining one of my neighbours walls that silverfish problem solved itself. Have I told you that I live in a very cool place?

[booznik]

...silverfish...

As nibblers of books, those bastards have a very special place in Hell for those of us who read sliced tree. Or, who grew up doing so, anyway. Now it's all ether-bits, with the exception of the Holy Magazine, which I hope will have an e-mag version at some point.

The silverfish eat my books while I drink.

[oettinger]

...silverfish...

As nibblers of books, those bastards have a very special place in Hell for those of us who read sliced tree. Or, who grew up doing so, anyway. Now it's all ether-bits, with the exception of the Holy Magazine, which I hope will have an e-mag version at some point.

The silverfish eat my books while I drink.

Bon appetit! Both of you