Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

That's right. You can put them right here.

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ThirstyDrunk
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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by ThirstyDrunk »

Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought

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Badfellow
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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by Badfellow »

And here are some more phallic dating tips for the unwitting.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ

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oldsmartskunk
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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by oldsmartskunk »

It's good you two managed to save your virginity in this hard unforgiving world!

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oettinger
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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by oettinger »

oldsmartskunk wrote:
Thu Oct 26, 2017 11:23 am
It's good you two managed to save your virginity in this hard unforgiving world!
I`d say that`s a bad thing for the rest of us. I´ll not be able to sleep without one eye open until they got their saussage festival figuered out
Drink!
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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by Artful Drunktective »

And now...I will proceed to gouge my eyes out after viewing this. And promptly become a raging lesbian.

May I suggest that since Old Smartypants Skunk can't even provide us any tips- even after successfully finding a lady friend- and other drunkards posted videos of...well...what they posted...that maybe the phrase "got lucky" refers to us drunkards and no tips / how to's will ever be of use?
Need we question (or care) why we are single? Ha.
Okole maluna!

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oldsmartskunk
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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by oldsmartskunk »

Skunk's tips to successful dating:
1) Tone down phallic jokes. A few here and there are still good.
2) Go out when someone is asking you out or just invite someone you like.
3) Don't try to impress your date - you are a drunk, if you raise a bar too high you will fail to perform at the same level.
4) Don't expect too much - people are are fucking boring. My current requirement for a woman - big tits. After that i pretty much loose all interest.
5) If all that fail - you can always hoop up with oettinger during Las Vegas meeting. He is a kind soul. He doesn't say no to anyone. (mostly because he spends 90percent of his time unconscious)

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oldsmartskunk
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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by oldsmartskunk »

Dating tip from oettinger: dating girls is gay !

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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by Artful Drunktective »

To quote Patchez...FIXED THAT FOR "YA!

oldsmartskunk wrote:
Sat Oct 28, 2017 3:39 am
Skunk's tips to successful dating:
1) Tone down joke about my own GINORMOUS SHTICKY and SCHTINKY dick. A few here and there are still good.
2) Go out and molest when someone is asking you out or just molest someone you like. Or molest someone you hate for that matter.
3) Don't try to impress or pudhammer your date - you are a drunk, if you raise a bar too high you will fail to perform at the same level which you will never perform at that level because you are a useless drunk with whisky dick. So try the helicopter dick swing. It works.
4) Don't expect too much - people are are fucking boring. My current requirement for a woman - big tits and big butts (Big butts I cannot lie). After that i pretty much roofie them and put them in Bubblez trailer or Dear Booze's trunk for a free for all and we all lose all interest after we bury them in the California desert.
5) If all that fail - you can always hook up with oettinger where he will sing the song "Goodbye Horses" while rubbing lotion on its skin (mostly because Oett spends 90percent of his time unconscious but not in a trunk at least) This is why we love Oettinger. Because we can take advantage of his vagine always.
Last edited by Artful Drunktective on Sun Nov 12, 2017 10:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by Dear Booze »

To quote the great Smokey Robinson, "My mama told me 'you better shop around'".

That song is about hookers. Find a good one.

But, to quote the great Stephen Stills, "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with".
DRINK!

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oettinger
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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by oettinger »

The last quote is rather disconcerting. I think I`ll be alone then
Drink!
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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by Artful Drunktective »

^ ^ ^ HA! Now you're stuck in quarantine with your drunkard wife 24-7. That "being alone" didn't work out so well for ya now, did it? Bwaahahahaha!

oldsmartskunk, would you please update this and enlighten us with dating (or even cohabitating) for drunks tips...during quarantine? Heh.
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oldsmartskunk
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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by oldsmartskunk »

These challenging times . Damn virus forced us into self preservation mode or should I say self conservation ! I don't I have ever drank that much booze on day to day basis . Having said that ... Cheap media have been pushing the idea it is a perfect time to have sex with your partner . And that is simply load of crap. My girlfriend turned into Chewbacca . Hairy buttcrack that would scare even Indiana Jones from exploring it . Graduation from chubbyness into full fledged fattness. It's a disaster . And worst thing is - you cannot find a drunk chick , because bars and pubs are closed ! Well holy cow titty fucking Alabama Jesus . What a situation to be in . There's no way to fix these things, but you can stay drunk. And positive . And avoid golf at all cost or your balls will shrivel and fall off. Scary stuff.

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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by Artful Drunktective »

^ ^ ^ CHEWBACCA! HA!
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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by scream ale »

Chewbacca titty fucking alabama jesus. Now there's a visual that could get burned into your mind forever. Are there any artists out there?

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Re: Dating for drunks: tips/how to's

Post by Nausea »

scream ale wrote:
Mon May 04, 2020 8:41 am
Chewbacca titty fucking alabama jesus. Now there's a visual that could get burned into your mind forever. Are there any artists out there?
Somewhere in the multiverse there exists an ultra-realistic painting of this.

And there also exists a counterpart of oldsmartskunk, pleasing himself to it.
Don't worry. We're in no hurry.

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