Shit we hate:

[Badfellow]

What ever happened to a good, old fashioned vat of corpse dissolving acid?

[Mr Boozificator]

I hate that I like the movie "Dirty Dancing". And the fact that I find Swayze sexy in it.

I hate that I like Flo-Rida's "Welcome to my house" song.

I also hate lentils. Probably said that before. And Circus Peanuts. And raisins.

I hate that I supported Dear Booze while he was campaigning for "Town/City Manager" in the town of Cloverdorff, CA, all the while undisclosed to me, he was burying hooker corpses in the Death Valley. I could have helped him dispose the bodies better where they will never be found, being a "detective" and all. Just bury them uphill. Cops are too lazy to look up there. Us overweight law enforcement types will never walk up there, unlike the behemoth strength of serial killers who have the energy to not only torture, murder, and carry a body uphill, but in addition, dig a grave and bury a corpse- which is a lot of work I assume.

Follow #ADetective on Twitter or whatever platform on how to commit crimes and yet, go unscathed from the law.

Big bags of calciferous earth. 30% of the weight of the dead body. You're welcome.

[oettinger]

Rocks in a suitcase is out of fashion?
Make it an expensive burial and use versace bags

[Badfellow]

You know, your average pig will eat just about anything.

[Mr Boozificator]

You know, your average pig will eat just about anything.

I would be too tempted to eat it after that. They are so cute, and tasty.

[scream ale]

The super bowl. Fuck it.

[Patchez]

Being out coached in the second half of the Superb Owl.

[oettinger]

Our pet`s eating disorders

[Badfellow]

Our pet`s eating disorders

Patiently explain to your dog that he needs to cut down on the french fries and Whoppers. Maybe have a salad every once in a while. Do some aerobics. Not bark so much.

[oettinger]

Not bark so much.

What no!?"! That`s his only way to atleast burn some calories

[Artful Drunktective]

Sandwich makers. They're stupid.

It seems like a good idea when you're in your 20's. I did everything in those- whether it be with cheese, ham, and even peanut butter. I was never disappointed by any means, but in reality it comes out bland and dry.

It was the wisdom of adulthood that I finally realized it's just better to butter the bread and throw it in a skillet, grilled cheese style. And an easier mess to clean.

Follow #ADBettyCrocked for more culinary advice that you probably could have learned from TikTok.

[Artful Drunktective]

Children of today that claim they are "bored." Really?! In this day and age? Do we really need to throw in the "well I'll give ya something to do. Like scrub the toilets. Pick weeds from the yard. Peel some potatoes. Walk our psychotic Pomeranian." I have an abundance of ideas for kids that think they know what boredom is.

Our 9 year old nephew came over the other night for quality family "game night" where we play board games etc. (which is the reason he comes over in the first place was because he is "bored" in life at his own residence) and he flat out said he didn't want to play our Dominoes suggestion- even though he never played it before- because he already predetermined that it was "boring".

Welp, if our games and us drunkards are so boring, maybe you should go back home and read a fking book, listen to music, watch YouTube, play with Legos, iPad, action figures, video games, watch cartoons, movies, play outside or play with your sister. Looky here you spoiled little Nazi brat. What kind of perfect world do you live in? He needs to learn why child labor laws were put into place.

And there's no respect that Drunkle oett and Drunkie Auntie are giving up valuable drinking and Skype time for that bull scheisse.

[Malibu Laurie]

Welp you shoulda told him that hanging out with 8 year olds undrunk on a Friday night is also boring, to be fair.

[scream ale]

Breeding is overrated.

[Badfellow]

Send both the boy and the Pomeranian to the labor camps. You guys still have labor camps in Germany, right?