Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone

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Badfellow
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Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone

Post by Badfellow »

You live a busy life. So what's the best new app for keeping track of the very latest, up-to-date information on your bowel movements? iPOOP is here!

Now you can get real time data on your latest stink session including moisture content, methane coefficient and more!

Not only that, iPOOP keeps track of your vital BM info for easy reference at home or work. Up to two years worth! And you can share it on all your smart devices. Plus, it's proprietary probability algorithms also provide you a personalized 7 day forecast on how likely you are to shit yourself. Try doing that on Facebook!

Be the master of your own defecatory destiny! Download iPOOP today, the #1 rated fecal app!
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Re: Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone

Post by ThirstyDrunk »

Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought

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Re: Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone

Post by scream ale »

I track my movements the old fashioned way - with pencil and paper and polaroids.
No digital turd tracker for me. No thank you.

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Re: Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone

Post by Nausea »

I need an iCANTPOOP app, since I'm constipated.
Last edited by Nausea on Sun Mar 24, 2019 3:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Don't worry. We're in no hurry.

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Re: Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone

Post by oettinger »

ok, em gutgle
Drink!
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Re: Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone

Post by Badfellow »

iPOOP! has added an exclamation mark to it's name and has been updated to include Mexican food, gas station schnitzel and cheap domestic beer. Also includes the new EnemaPro v. 2.0 lower colonic manager.
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Re: Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone

Post by scream ale »

Badfellow wrote:
Mon Mar 25, 2019 8:12 am
iPOOP! has added an exclamation mark to it's name and has been updated to include Mexican food, gas station schnitzel and cheap domestic beer. Also includes the new EnemaPro v. 2.0 lower colonic manager.
Gas station schnitzel and cheap domestic beer? I may have been wrong about this device.

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Re: Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone

Post by Patchez »

Nausea wrote:
Sun Mar 24, 2019 3:41 pm
I need an iCANTPOOP app, since I'm constipated.
Copious amounts of beer will help this. Bonus if it's cheap swill.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

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Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice

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Re: Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone

Post by mistah willies »

scream ale wrote:
Sun Mar 24, 2019 12:51 pm
I track my movements the old fashioned way - with pencil and paper and polaroids.
No digital turd tracker for me. No thank you.
Some of the more memorable ones, I've bronzed and mounted on plaques in the restroom
to give inspiration for the work ahead.
It's corny, I know.

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Re: Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone

Post by Badfellow »

mistah willies wrote:
Tue Mar 26, 2019 8:43 am

It's corny, I know.
Do mean the sentiment? Or your poop? Or perhaps both?
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Re: Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone

Post by mistah willies »

Badfellow wrote:
Tue Mar 26, 2019 12:23 pm
mistah willies wrote:
Tue Mar 26, 2019 8:43 am
It's corny, I know.
Do mean the sentiment? Or your poop? Or perhaps both?
Mostly it's been the sense of not being completely evacuated. Ya know? Like, how many times does it take to wipe between being clean, or then the blood on the TP?

I think that the ¡POOP! may help?

I dunno. Just looking for answers. If this new poop app really can detail the structure and content of my expressions, then I'll give high protein props on Facebook © for all my Likes there.

Is there a Facebook © probe, or ¡Probe! for pre-pooping?

¡Dunno. Hello a bro out, dude!

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Re: Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone

Post by Patchez »

mistah willies wrote:
Tue Mar 26, 2019 7:10 pm
Badfellow wrote:
Tue Mar 26, 2019 12:23 pm
mistah willies wrote:
Tue Mar 26, 2019 8:43 am
It's corny, I know.
Do mean the sentiment? Or your poop? Or perhaps both?
Mostly it's been the sense of not being completely evacuated. Ya know? Like, how many times does it take to wipe between being clean, or then the blood on the TP?

I

Somedays it's like there's a marker down there. Always a tiny streak.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

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Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice

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Re: Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone

Post by mistah willies »

Patchez wrote:
Tue Mar 26, 2019 8:36 pm
Somedays it's like there's a marker down there. Always a tiny streak.

Not to mention the bed sheets, the settee, the neighbor's cat, the shower curtain and the riding lawn mower seat. But I hear this is normal.

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Badfellow
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Re: Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone

Post by Badfellow »

mistah willies wrote:
Thu Mar 28, 2019 7:12 am
Patchez wrote:
Tue Mar 26, 2019 8:36 pm
Somedays it's like there's a marker down there. Always a tiny streak.

Not to mention the bed sheets, the settee, the neighbor's cat, the shower curtain and the riding lawn mower seat. But I hear this is normal.
In technical jargon, we call those "racing stripes". Used to call them "taco stains", but the proctologist guild says that's racist.
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Re: Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone

Post by mistah willies »

Badfellow wrote:
Thu Mar 28, 2019 7:32 am
mistah willies wrote:
Thu Mar 28, 2019 7:12 am
Patchez wrote:
Tue Mar 26, 2019 8:36 pm
Somedays it's like there's a marker down there. Always a tiny streak.

Not to mention the bed sheets, the settee, the neighbor's cat, the shower curtain and the riding lawn mower seat. But I hear this is normal.
In technical jargon, we call those "racing stripes". Used to call them "taco stains", but the proctologist guild says that's racist.
Bear and Rabbit are taking a poop in the woods. Bear calls out to Rabbit, "Hey Rabbit! You ever get shit stuck in your fur?"
Rabbit says, "No. That's sad." So Bear grabs Rabbit and wipes his ass with him.

What I'm saying is, that which don't kill you weakens you greatly. You almost died.

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