INTENDED FOR HUMOROUS PURPOSES ONLY. PLEASE DO NOT KILL YOURSELF OR ANYONE ELSE. LET'S HAVE A DRINK
As an abstract exercise in thought, there was a small discussion between Drunkards, suggestions in jest to each other upon the most gruesome methods in which to end their lives.
For example: Dear Booze suggested I make a hammock out of high tensile screen and slowly be pressed to death by weights through the mesh into gruel.
Rye & Coke suggested a creative and particularly painful way to go. However, due to the codes of Drunkard confidentiality, I cannot mention nor elaborate upon the concept of being talked to death by an infrequent contributor to these here boards who so happens to reside in Berlin.
As for Dear Booze, the autopsy report would indicate that self inflicted, blunt force trauma to the balls and taintal region were the official cause of death. "He was found in a state of rigor mortis strangling his own manhood."
Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous
Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator
- Badfellow
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Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous
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Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous
Burying yourself alive would be quite the task
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- Dear Booze
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Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous
I've always been curious about the attraction to autoerotic asphyxiation. Perhaps Genorino can give it a try and let us know what's so great about it.
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- Artful Drunktective
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Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous
Didn't really fix it for ya.Badfellow wrote: ↑Fri Jun 12, 2020 9:48 pmRye & Coke suggested a creative and particularly painful way to go. However, due to the codes of Drunkard confidentiality, I cannot mention nor elaborate upon the concept of being continuously and tiresomely RAPED mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically to death by an infrequent poseur to these here boards who so happens to be an Ixodes scapularis (deer tick) that resides in Berlin.
Okole maluna!
- Badfellow
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Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous
Those who know know who the deer tick is. Be sure to check yourself regularly for socially diseased carrying ticks.
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- Badfellow
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Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous
Not really a gruesome way to off yourself.
But if I had to pick an ideal way to go, it would be skydiving drunk, stoned and tripping balls at 14,000 ft. over the spring tulip fields of Holland with a breather mask and a tank of nitrous oxide strapped to my back, and probably while listening to Ride of the Valkyries by Richard Wagner.
But if I had to pick an ideal way to go, it would be skydiving drunk, stoned and tripping balls at 14,000 ft. over the spring tulip fields of Holland with a breather mask and a tank of nitrous oxide strapped to my back, and probably while listening to Ride of the Valkyries by Richard Wagner.
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Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous
Testing the sense of humor of wild mountain gorilla silver backs with a simple joy buzzer.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter
If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider
Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice
If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider
Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice
- mistah willies
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Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous
Death by bunga bunga, voluntarily. That's suicide at it's worst, imo
Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous
I`ll take patchez monkey banging over thatmistah willies wrote: ↑Fri Jun 19, 2020 10:19 amDeath by bunga bunga, voluntarily. That's suicide at it's worst, imo
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- scream ale
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Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous
Eating that canned "Ribs" bullshit, as mentioned in a different thread, every night for a week would probably do the trick.
- Badfellow
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Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous
Yeah, death by bowel obstruction from eating canned ribs. That's worse than putting a shock buzzer on a silverback gorilla's balls.
How about being stung to a swollen pulp by bullet ants and African killer bees?
Sliding down a rusty razor blade into a pool of isopropyl alcohol?
Being bludgeoned to death with rubber dildos by a bunch of women in pantsuits named Karen?
How about being stung to a swollen pulp by bullet ants and African killer bees?
Sliding down a rusty razor blade into a pool of isopropyl alcohol?
Being bludgeoned to death with rubber dildos by a bunch of women in pantsuits named Karen?
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- TheDrunkardAnglo
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Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous
Death by snu snu!
Major Strasser: What is your nationality?
Rick: I'm a drunkard.
Captain Renault: That makes Rick a citizen of the world.
Rick: I'm a drunkard.
Captain Renault: That makes Rick a citizen of the world.
Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous
Roll naked in bacon grease and climb into the grizzly compound at the local zoo
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- scream ale
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Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous
I'll take my chances with the lesbians in pantsuits. The killer bees just sound frightening
- Artful Drunktective
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Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous
Being a serial killer's victim would be a pretty heinous way to go.
Okole maluna!