Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous

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Badfellow
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Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous

Post by Badfellow »

INTENDED FOR HUMOROUS PURPOSES ONLY. PLEASE DO NOT KILL YOURSELF OR ANYONE ELSE. LET'S HAVE A DRINK



As an abstract exercise in thought, there was a small discussion between Drunkards, suggestions in jest to each other upon the most gruesome methods in which to end their lives.

For example: Dear Booze suggested I make a hammock out of high tensile screen and slowly be pressed to death by weights through the mesh into gruel.

Rye & Coke suggested a creative and particularly painful way to go. However, due to the codes of Drunkard confidentiality, I cannot mention nor elaborate upon the concept of being talked to death by an infrequent contributor to these here boards who so happens to reside in Berlin.

As for Dear Booze, the autopsy report would indicate that self inflicted, blunt force trauma to the balls and taintal region were the official cause of death. "He was found in a state of rigor mortis strangling his own manhood."
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oettinger
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Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous

Post by oettinger »

Burying yourself alive would be quite the task
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Dear Booze
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Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous

Post by Dear Booze »

I've always been curious about the attraction to autoerotic asphyxiation. Perhaps Genorino can give it a try and let us know what's so great about it.
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Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous

Post by Artful Drunktective »

Badfellow wrote:
Fri Jun 12, 2020 9:48 pm
Rye & Coke suggested a creative and particularly painful way to go. However, due to the codes of Drunkard confidentiality, I cannot mention nor elaborate upon the concept of being continuously and tiresomely RAPED mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically to death by an infrequent poseur to these here boards who so happens to be an Ixodes scapularis (deer tick) that resides in Berlin.
Didn't really fix it for ya.
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Badfellow
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Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous

Post by Badfellow »

Artful Drunktective wrote:
Wed Jun 17, 2020 7:30 am
Badfellow wrote:
Fri Jun 12, 2020 9:48 pm
...who so happens to be an Ixodes scapularis (deer tick) that resides in Berlin.
Didn't really fix it for ya.
Those who know know who the deer tick is. Be sure to check yourself regularly for socially diseased carrying ticks.
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Badfellow
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Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous

Post by Badfellow »

Not really a gruesome way to off yourself.

But if I had to pick an ideal way to go, it would be skydiving drunk, stoned and tripping balls at 14,000 ft. over the spring tulip fields of Holland with a breather mask and a tank of nitrous oxide strapped to my back, and probably while listening to Ride of the Valkyries by Richard Wagner.
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Patchez
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Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous

Post by Patchez »

Testing the sense of humor of wild mountain gorilla silver backs with a simple joy buzzer.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter

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Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous

Post by mistah willies »

Death by bunga bunga, voluntarily. That's suicide at it's worst, imo

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Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous

Post by oettinger »

mistah willies wrote:
Fri Jun 19, 2020 10:19 am
Death by bunga bunga, voluntarily. That's suicide at it's worst, imo
I`ll take patchez monkey banging over that
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Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous

Post by scream ale »

Eating that canned "Ribs" bullshit, as mentioned in a different thread, every night for a week would probably do the trick.

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Badfellow
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Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous

Post by Badfellow »

Yeah, death by bowel obstruction from eating canned ribs. That's worse than putting a shock buzzer on a silverback gorilla's balls.

How about being stung to a swollen pulp by bullet ants and African killer bees?

Sliding down a rusty razor blade into a pool of isopropyl alcohol?

Being bludgeoned to death with rubber dildos by a bunch of women in pantsuits named Karen?
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Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous

Post by TheDrunkardAnglo »

Death by snu snu!
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oettinger
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Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous

Post by oettinger »

Roll naked in bacon grease and climb into the grizzly compound at the local zoo
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Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous

Post by scream ale »

I'll take my chances with the lesbians in pantsuits. The killer bees just sound frightening

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Re: Creative suicide suggestions semi-anonymous

Post by Artful Drunktective »

Being a serial killer's victim would be a pretty heinous way to go.
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